“We should go, let you sleep. I’ll be back soon auntie,” he whispers as she closes her eyes again.
“I love you Willem, protect your heart, protect Scarlett, she is the one, you have chosen well. The Chauderon elders approve,” she said as Buddy glanced at me, gesturing for the door.
“Oh Willem. Come here,” she asks him. He walks over as I wait by the door.
“Willem, she loves you but she’ll fly away and you will have to let her go, it will be the only way to protect her,” she warns him. I know I wasn’t meant to hear her, but I do. I hold my breath as I walk out of the room. Standing in the hallway, I rest my head against the cold cement wall and gasp. It’s not fair, I don’t want to fly away from him. I won’t. I feel Buddy’s hands on my shoulders. I turn quickly and hold him as close to me as I possibly can. I feel him wrap his arms around me, holding me firmly against him. He knows it to be true. I have so many questions for him but I just can't seem to ask. I don't want to know the answers right now, I just want to be with him and forget the world. I don't want to know who Levana is or who the Chauderon elders are. I don't want to know why Will has to protect me. I don't want to know why Will has chosen me or why Calvin thought I was carrying a son. I don't want to know why he wanted to kill it. I just want to be lost in Will and lost in the smoke he offers me.
The next day, after lunch he tells me he wants to take me to one of his favorite places in the city. I’m excited to be learning something new about the man I love. He holds the car door open for me as I get in. He has spiked his hair for the first time since I’ve been back here and his whole look excites me. He turns on the stereo, playing ‘So Alive’. I roll down the window as he drives through the city. He pulls into a park. It’s nice to hear the birds sing and see the trees. We get out and he takes my hand, leading me towards what looks like an obstacle course. I read a sign and realize this was set up by the military to train recruits. Buddy climbs up a wall within seconds. I see him grip onto a rope and swing across to a platform on the other side. I had no idea he was so athletic. When he swings back down to me, he’s smiling. I love watching him play.
“Come give it a try Scar,” he orders. I reach for the rope as I try and climb the wall, with no success. I don’t have much arm strength. I walk along the sand surrounding the course as I watch Buddy breeze through it with ease. He makes his way back to me. He is sweating now and his muscles are flexed. I hold onto him as he swings me around.
“Come on, I’ll bring you to something you can climb,” he said with a laugh. We end up in front of a children’s playground. I laugh as I punch his arm. “Thanks,” I say sarcastically. I climb up the monkey bars anyway and sit on top, looking out over the lake. A radio somewhere in the distance plays Alphaville, ‘Forever Young’ stopping me in my tracks.
In this moment I knew I would live forever if I was with Will. At this moment, nothing mattered anymore. I let go of it all as I hung upside on the monkey bars, just like the kids we still were, the kids we never really had a chance to be. Him with his chains and scars, me with my army boots and fishnet stockings, we just let all the pain and all the confusion go. We laugh as we climb across the cold metal ladder, jumping down into the sand together. I realize that in this moment there are no goodbyes, no endings, no partings, no death. The sun is beginning to set as we stretch out across the top of a picnic table and light a smoke. He’s holding my hand, like he always does. I slide closer to him, enjoying the sunset, never wanting it to set, never wanting this moment, this time to end.
CHAPTER TEN
Sitting on the dark blue carpet in his musty, smoke filled basement apartment I watch Buddy as he picks up his knife and a piece of rope. He reaches for a lighter, and an ashtray and a few pieces of newspaper. He looks over at me, with his serious, searching eyes and holds his hand out for me. I slowly place it in his and he drags me towards him. He positions me in front of him. I’m sitting on my legs as he takes hold of my wrist, not saying anything, he wraps the rope around it, making a circle. Once he’s satisfied with the measurement he cuts the rope. He does the same to his own wrist.
“What are you doing?” I ask nervously, watching him light the paper in the ashtray. Holding both ends of the rope in the fire until they start to melt. He quickly grabs my wrist again, then wraps the rope around it, holding the melted
