I wondered what my grandmother meant by “you tried once.” I was sure she was referring to Okem, but I was afraid to probe as I didn’t want to open up a can of worms. She had sounded like my grandfather when she talked about my calling. I wondered if she had been talking to him too. If so, they had both succeeded in confusing me further. Unlike her, though, my grandfather had refused to assist me with making choices.
“What are you referring to, Mama?” I asked, seizing the opportunity to grill her further about my calling. “I see no way the things they’re forcing me to learn will help me achieve my goals. None of the things they’re stuffing down my throat includes any of my wishes.”
“What are your wishes,” she asked, ignoring my tantrum.
“Papa had said—”
She hummed and flapped her wrapper on her thighs at the mere mention of Papa, which didn’t surprise me. She never liked speaking about my grandfather. His death had been so painful to her, she shut down anytime anyone or anything reminded her of him. The first time I met him in Luenah, I had guarded the meeting jealously. It was my secret. As time passed, and I noticed my grandmother wouldn’t entertain any talk of him, I realized I didn’t need to worry about her probing and discovering my secret.
“Your wishes?” she repeated. “What things do you wish for in this life?”
“I just want to be loved, to answer my call of duty, and to find happiness.”
“Don’t you think this is your call of duty then?”
“I don’t know.”
I was thinking about Okem at that moment, but I couldn’t tell her that. Although I was set on marrying Albert, I was still in love with Okem. As Okem’s wife, I was pretty sure I would have had to answer to a different call of duty, working as a government lawyer or running my own law firm, so how could I respond to my grandmother’s question without addressing that aspect? So far, I was yet to conquer love. Duty had been decided for me, as a consequence of the love ‘I chose.’
“My dear, everything you’re going through is preparing you for what you were meant to be,” she said, interrupting my reverie. “Have you ever heard the saying, man proposes and God disposes? If you believe, fate will always drive you through the required tests and supply you with the wisdom you need to achieve your purpose. In the end, you will have acquired all the knowledge required to do something bigger than yourself. Something you could never have imagined. No matter how hard you try to conquer love and duty, or even achieve happiness, if you’re not living your purpose, you will never be fulfilled. And if you’re not fulfilled, you can never claim to have found happiness.”
“What if I marry the wrong person? Will I still be able to achieve my purpose?”
She hummed and shook her head.
“What then?” I asked, glaring at her.
“It will be very difficult. Almost impossible,” she finally said. “Marrying the wrong person can send your entire life down the drain.” She paused and stuck her neck out for emphasis. “You will marry the person who will help you achieve your purpose, and you will help him with his, in return. Don’t worry so much. I believe you’re on the right track. Everything happens for a reason; everything will eventually align for your good. Believe that God is love, and he will bring forth all you need. He will.”
“You think so?”
“I know so. Ever since you were a little girl, you’ve talked about lessening the plight of the less privileged. Becoming Queen seems to be a great way for you to do that.”
“You’re right, Grandma. This is my chance to do something for the greater good. I can’t think of a better way. I’ll influence policy, laws, judgments, and even the economy.”
“There you go! I always thought you were a queen at heart. You seem truly energized now.”
She was right. I could feel the excitement too. It was bubbling right in my core.
Though I still yearned for Okem, I heeded my grandmother’s advice and prepared for my marriage to the Crown Prince.
Chapter Eleven
WE CELEBRATED OUR engagement in a lavish ceremony that attracted countless dignitaries from near and far. Amidst the crowds, I counted at least seven governors and two former presidents. Security personnel and soldiers with armored vehicles lined the roads from Ide to Ntebe. All the shops were closed, and the major roads were blocked off to control traffic. For the first time, I got a glimpse of the significance of my position. Countless times, I was told of how beautiful I looked in my wedding attire. After many days of searching for the ideal fabric, my grandmother finally came across the perfect one for my attire—a beautiful asooke in wine red and gold. She had it custom embroidered to ensure it was one-of-a-kind.
Amah and nine other friends, wearing a glamorous, green and gold embroidered aso-ebi uniform escorted me as I made my entrance at the ceremony. Our clothes and our faces glistened from the lights emanating from the intricately designed lamps. They were strategically positioned outside to create a striking ambiance with the landscape and the structures that once awed me as a kid. When I got older, those structures had begun to lose their significance, but that night, they stood out and reminded me what a magnificent home my grandfather’s was.
The heavens were magnificent, too. A half-moon danced in the sky, radiant against a dark background completely rid of stars. Both families were seated on opposite sides of each other while the traditional rites were carried out. I was taken through a test—a question-and-answer section by the patriarch of Albert’s family to confirm that I had been properly groomed for my position. I answered everything correctly and was taken before my family, my grandmother,
