Yes, she loved Jesse King. And knowing he could never love her in return hurt most of all.
“Ja, you bought my supper. I hope it was worth it.” She spoke the words in a whisper, forcing herself to look away. Because she knew, if she didn’t, she would start to cry and she couldn’t stand to have Jesse and the rest of the Gmay witness such shame.
Opening his wallet, Jesse counted out the bills and paid Darrin Albrecht, their deacon, the required amount. Becca stared as their work-roughened hands made the exchange. She still couldn’t believe Jesse had paid such an exorbitant price for her simple supper.
Picking up a small blanket she’d brought, she followed Jesse as he led her off to a grassy mound beside the creek bed. They were just beyond the crowd and, though they had some privacy, anyone could see them if they stepped over the incline.
Sam didn’t follow, but hung around the barbecue, waiting for a hamburger or hot dog, courtesy of the school board. He raced around the yard with little Andy Yoder, laughing and joyful as can be.
“He seems happy today,” Becca said, jutting her chin toward the little boys.
“Ja, he’s been much happier since you came into his life,” Jesse said.
Becca shivered at his words, wishing she could remain in Sam’s life. Wishing she could remain with Jesse too.
Holding her silence, she spread the blanket across the spring nubs of grass that were just beginning to grow along the creek bed and watched as Jesse sat down with her box.
“Did you know this was mine?” she asked, her mind whirling with wonder. If he did know, why did he buy hers and not someone else’s?
“Ja, I must confess, I overheard your aunt Naomi talking to Abby about it.”
So. Abby hadn’t told on her but he had known and, if the high price was any indication, he’d made sure he bought it anyway.
She knelt on the blanket and lifted the lid of the box before setting the golden fried chicken, potato salad, fresh-baked rolls and peach cobbler within arm’s reach. She watched as he picked up a drumstick and bit into the crisp, juicy meat.
“You paid way too much for this meal,” she said.
He chewed thoughtfully before taking another bite and she watched him in silence.
“It was for a gut cause,” he finally said.
She wasn’t so sure. Seventy-five dollars was a huge amount of money to pay for a chicken supper. But there were so many questions she longed to ask him. So much she wanted to say. He had just paid a small fortune for her supper. Maybe he was interested in her after all.
“It seems that Sam isn’t suffering any aftereffects from the fire safety class,” Becca said.
Jesse looked at her, then studied his son. Sam stood near the creek bed with Andy and was holding a huge hamburger with both hands as he took a bite. The burger looked way too big for such a small boy and Jesse smiled at his eager efforts.
“Ne, he seems to have forgotten all about it, though I know that isn’t true,” Jesse said.
“When you picked up the book of matches and lit one, it was like a fire started inside him too. If I had known he might react that way, I would have excused him from the class,” she said.
Jesse remembered how it impacted him as well. Until that day at school when he’d taught fire safety to the children, he’d believed he could never fight fire again. Now that it was over with, he realized he could. He just needed to be careful and vigilant at all times so another tragedy didn’t strike his familye ever again.
He nodded, taking a spoonful of potato salad. The tang of the dressing was delicious and he wasn’t surprised. Becca was an exceptional cook but he wasn’t concentrating on his meal just now. “It probably did. You see, I caught Sam and Susanna, his younger sister, playing with matches. I really got after them and explained the dangers but it didn’t seem to sink in. My house burned down a week later.” The memory caused his voice to catch and he had to cough, blinking back the burn of tears.
She glanced down at the purplish scars covering his hands and forearms. They were ugly and a constant reminder of his failure. He flinched when she reached out and traced one scar with her fingertips.
“From what I can see, you did try to save them. You should wear these scars like a badge of courage,” she said.
He blinked, his throat suddenly clogged with emotion. He coughed and took a quick sip of apple juice from a flask she had set nearby. He finally spoke softly, feeling as if his voice wasn’t his own. “I... I tried but I was too late. I found Sam in the barn. All he would say was that it was his fault. I figured he must have been playing with matches again.”
Becca cringed and he wished he’d never told her. This wasn’t light conversation. They should be laughing and talking about simple, inconsequential things like the weather, the school and things going on in their community. Not the death of his familye.
She released a little sound of sympathy. “I’m so sorry, Jesse. But surely you understand you must forgive yourself and Sam for what happened. If you’ll let it, the Atonement of Jesus Christ can wash away any pain you might feel over losing your familye. And Sam needs you now more than ever.”
He agreed but forgiveness was easier said than done. In his heart, he knew what she said was true. And finally, because of her, he’d had the courage to pray and seek strength from the Lord. It was time, wasn’t
