As I lowered my head, I could see a glisten forming in her eyes, could sense such sadness. When I pressed my lips over hers, she gripped my arms, digging her fingers into my skin.
The kiss was bittersweet, the taste of her just as I’d remembered. My hunger would always be just under the surface, my longing to possess her something that I would never be able to deny. I slipped my tongue inside her mouth, moving it back and forth across hers.
The single whimper pushing past the kiss was telling.
The woman I’d fallen in love with was leaving.
“You’re now a wealthy man, Mr. Carter.”
I eyed the attorney, taking a deep breath before signing the last of the paperwork involving my grandfather’s will. Maybe I remained in shock that he’d left me his entire estate, which included proceeds from his winnings at high stakes poker games. Even my father had been shocked to learn just how much my grandfather had squirreled away over the years. While he’d left his small ranch to my dad, the amount of money in my grandfather’s accounts precluded the need to work.
For one hell of a long time.
But I wasn’t that kind of man.
So I’d already made a down payment on a working ranch, one where the owners had fallen on hard times. I’d even purchased their livestock, hoping that I’d figure out if ranching could be my calling.
As I moved to a standing position, immediately holding out my hand, my grandfather’s attorney gave me an awkward smile before standing. His shake was firm. Then he handed me the check for six million dollars. What the hell was I going to do with all that money?
“I hope you don’t mind me telling you this, but your grandfather was very proud of you.”
I thought about the attorney’s words, a few memories of my grandfather floating into the back of my mind. “Mr. Sanders, my grandfather was one of the most amazing men I’ve ever met.”
He nodded several times as he stared into my eyes. “That’s exactly what he said about you. Be proud, son. From what I know about you, you’re an honorable man.”
Honorable. The word continued to furrow in my mind, my inability to accept that as a reality something I’d have to deal with.
“You need to stop sulking,” Hawk growled.
I glared at my buddy as he pulled into a driveway, rolling up the gravel at a clipped pace. He’d insisted on taking me for a final look at the very ranch he’d introduced me to barely ten days before. A place of my own. A location to settle down with, making a new life.
What the fuck was I supposed to do with my life without the woman I loved?
“I’m not sulking,” I huffed, although in the week since Mitch had left town, I hadn’t been able to sleep. Every action had been perfunctory, even the act of eating food something I’d barely been able to do. While I’d certainly understood her requirement to return to Chicago, her testimony regarding the information she’d collected necessary, there’d been a single phone call shared between us.
She wasn’t coming back.
“Uh-huh. You’re buying a freaking ranch. I think you need to concentrate on what it’s going to take to keep it up and running. At least you have the money to do so.”
“As if that matters.”
Hawk pulled up to the house that had already been emptied. As I glared at the pretty little house, with a front porch that already had a swing attached and empty flower boxes lining the front windows, I cringed. How the hell was I supposed to use all the space inside the house? Three freaking bedrooms, a huge stone fireplace, and a glistening stainless steel kitchen. What the fuck did I need with all that room?
I didn’t bother allowing him to answer me before tossing open the door and jumping out. At least he was taking me to pick up another purchase, a new truck. Fortunately, that meant I wouldn’t have to depend on anyone else’s kindness.
When I stormed onto the porch, the smooth decking resonating with the hard thumping of my cowboy boots, all I could think about was Mitch. Maybe I was still angry with her for leaving, refusing to even acknowledge the emotions and wretched experiences that we’d shared. Hell, maybe our connection had been contrived by fear of the unknown, something I knew I had to get the fuck over.
I heard him move onto the stairs and bristled all over again.
“Don’t say it,” I half barked.
“What the hell do you think I’m going to say?”
“That I’m an idiot.”
Hawk chuckled. “The truth is you are, although I wasn’t going to tell you that right now.”
“And why am I an idiot?”
“Because you haven’t bothered to try and get her back. That’s why.”
The words stung, but they were the freaking truth.
“She has her life and I have mine. That’s the way it needs to be.”
I hated the quiet that developed between us. When he leaned over the railing, staring out at the corral in the distance, I heard his intense sigh and closed my eyes.
“The guilt doesn’t leave you, Nash. It only becomes tolerable. Do I wish I could have done something differently? Without a doubt. Do I know that Snake would have done the same thing if any of us had been captured? Absolutely. You need to forgive yourself or you won’t be able to survive. That’s what giving my life to both Ashley and Bryce has taught me. They allowed me to realize what’s
