“What about honor?”
I could see his smile even from where I stood.
“Honor can be shown in so many ways. To your family. To your friends. But most important, to yourself. When you learn that, you’ll finally be free from those chains you have wrapped around your neck.”
I thought about his words and closed my eyes.
And all I could see were images of Mitch’s face.
The woman who had stolen my heart.
Chapter 18
Mitch
Seven weeks later
Nightmares.
They’d plagued me for weeks, although only part of them had anything to do with Dante or the subsequent appearances I’d been forced to make in court. I’d even managed to forgive Jessica, at least to some degree. I knew just how enthralling the monster could be when he wanted to. The sad truth was she’d been in love with Dante for two years. What a shame her loyalty to the bastard would destroy her life. At least she’d cared enough to send me the warning text. Even that hadn’t kept me awake at night. The truth regarding the reason had been difficult to swallow.
One. Rugged. Man.
I wasn’t entirely certain why I’d ignored his two phone calls. While his messages had been short, they’d been so sweet, a reminder that I’d barged into his life and he’d managed to capture my heart. I had reasons, some of which were very legitimate, but others…
There was no adequate way to repair the hurt I’d caused with my ridiculous behavior. I had no excuses. None. Returning to Chicago had been required, at least at first. The other three weeks? Fear. A wave of nausea rolled into my stomach, forcing me to press my hand against my mouth. Nash deserved to know the truth, although I wasn’t entirely certain how he’d feel about it. I’d languished over my feelings, allowing apprehension to get in the way. Then I’d come to my senses.
As I peered at the GPS, I grew antsy, my heart racing as another wave of anticipation slammed into my system. I was like a giddy schoolgirl, but one horrified of what she might be forced to face. The dichotomy was intense. Overwhelming. I could barely stay on the road, my nerves were so shot.
At least the day was beautiful, every tree and early budding flower sun kissed. Yet even that hint of warmth did little to take away the goosebumps that had remained on my arms for several hours. I had to face it. I was a freaking mess.
A laugh bubbled to the surface as the grating female voice on the GPS system sounded off that I was close. Maybe I was making a huge mistake, but there were no other options. What happened afterwards was entirely up to fate.
And maybe a push from the heavens above.
As I made the final turnoff, I held my breath, my mind frazzled. Then a sign appeared in front of me, just another reminder of my poor decisions. “Big Sky Ranch.” I said the name out loud, unable to keep the smile off my face. The carved sign was a reminder that this was cowboy country. I sucked in my breath and made the turn, slowing down to a crawl. When the lovely house came into view, I almost lost my nerve.
But I refused to lose everything that mattered for a second time. I now knew exactly what I wanted. My life would mean nothing without the big, brawny, dangerous, and very rough cowboy as a part of it.
I could only hope that he’d take me back.
I heard the sound of a dog barking as I approached, the open windows keeping me from a panic attack. As I eased the car to a stop, I could barely get the gear into park given how badly my hands were shaking.
After cutting the engine, I took a deep breath, smoothing down my hair before opening the door. In the distance, I heard the sound of horses whinnying, their beautiful noises sending another chill dancing down the backs of my legs. I hadn’t called. I hadn’t emailed. I hadn’t even texted my arrival. For all I knew, he’d moved on and rightfully so.
But in my heart, I hoped that he hadn’t forgotten.
As a beautiful yellow lab approached, the pup’s tail wagging, I couldn’t help but to crouch down, allowing the dog to lick my cheek.
“Hiya. You’re one beautiful pup.” I could tell the dog was a boy and the way he nuzzled against my neck allowed a moment of comfort. “Is your daddy home?”
His continued tail wagging was the answer I needed, as well as another boost of courage.
“Wish me luck,” I said, half under my breath before rising to a standing position. I took another look at the majestic view of the mountains before turning back toward the house.
My steps tentative, I walked onto the porch, the butterflies in my stomach threatening to take over. I pulled the coat around me, more self-conscious than I’d been in years. I made a little wish before knocking on the door. Then I took several steps backwards, almost running away like some ridiculous little girl.
After a few seconds, I heard footsteps, the hard thumping sending vibrations through every portion of my body. The moment Nash opened the door, his shock was evident by the look in his eyes.
Sadly, the tension was almost unsurmountable.
He glanced around me at the car before gazing down to my shoes then back to my eyes, his remaining cold and distant. I sensed so many emotions erupting within him.
Anger.
Sadness.
Emptiness.
But the electricity was the same as before, sparking between us and stealing my breath. God, I loved this man. Just the sight of him in his tight tee shirt and even tighter pair of well-worn jeans forced my nipples to harden. My panties had dampened the moment I’d landed in Missoula.
Still, fear remained furrowing in the deepest, darkest portions of my body.
“Nash,” I said quietly. Seeing him again brought back so many memories, some of the best in my life.
He remained
