“Inside. Now!” he shouts with an authoritative voice that I’ve grown accustomed to.
Really don’t wanna go in there with Madison. She’s standing in the window with tears streaming down her face, playing the victim. I’m not sure what she told them. This could be really fucking bad.
But, I do as I’m told and head for the door. I don’t dare walk in alone, though. Being alone with Madison never goes well and I’m not sure I’ll be able to refrain from losing my temper and making things worse than they already are.
Standing at the front door, I wait for Dad while he tries to reason with Lynn. His hands are braced on her shoulders and the way his jaw is ticking leads me to believe that his irritation doesn’t only sit with me.
Pulling out my phone, I check the time: 10:16. Willa said she needs to leave at eleven o’clock and I told her I’d be back before she heads out. “Come on. I don’t have all day,” I holler across the lawn.
Both heads twist and look at me and I probably should have just kept my mouth shut. Dad comes stalking toward me, huffing and puffing, while Lynn trails slowly behind. She hugs her rabbits closer to her chest with her eyes laser-focused on me. “Get the hell in the house.” Dad grabs me by the arm and drags me like a ragdoll. “You’ve got some explaining to do, young man.”
“Whatever she told you, it’s all lies. She’s a fucking psycho, Dad.”
“Yeah. No kidding,” he mutters under his breath. Is he taking my side? Do they both finally see what a nutcase Madison is?
We step into the living room and Madison’s frown quickly diminishes. “You came for me. Like you said you would.” She begins walking toward me, but Dad sticks his arm out to stop her from coming any closer.
I look from Madison to Dad. “What’s going on here?”
“Madison claims that you two were in a relationship, but you cheated on her and knocked up the pastor’s daughter and recently told her to go wait for you in Colorado.”
My head drops back and I let out a dramatic sigh. “Fuck. You said that, Madison?” Her smile only grows. She’s either pleased with herself, or she truly believes her own lies. I turn to Dad, lean forward and whisper in his ear, “Can we talk in private?”
Dad nods in response and I follow him down the hall into his study. When the door closes, I lay it all out. Well, not all of it. “She’s lying, Dad. She’s fucking obsessed with me and I think she needs some serious help.”
“Is that baby yours?” Dad spits out. When I don’t respond, he raises his voice. “Is it yours?”
“Yeah.” I nod. “Yeah, the baby is mine.”
“Damnit, boy. Do you have any idea how bad this looks for our family?”
“Our family?” I huff. Is he serious right now? “Our family? You mean my dad who's never home. My stepmom who only wants your money. My stepsister who is three seconds shy of a complete mental breakdown. Or my mom who moved three states east because she couldn’t stand living with a man who refused to acknowledge that her youngest son existed and died. Do you even remember your other son, Colby?”
His jaw locks and his eyes narrow in on the wall behind me. “Don’t you talk about him.”
“Why the fuck not? Isn’t it about time that we start talking about him? It’s been nine years, Dad. Stop pretending that he was never a part of our family.”
“Get the hell out of here,” he shouts, pointing to the door. Normally, I’d go. I’d drop it and move on. Not this time. After nine years, I’m ready to speak my truth.
“No,” I tell him. “I’m not leaving until you hear me out.” I click the lock on the door and walk back to the center of the room. “He was born in January of 2013. It was the first time I had ever seen a snowflake fall in all my years of living in Redwood. It was rare, but it happened. Mom said it was God’s way of welcoming Colby into the world. You brought me to the hospital and I sat in the corner and didn’t even wanna look at the little thing. But you forced me to hold him and when I did, it was reaffirmed that I didn’t want a little brother. Everyone was so caught up in Colby being here that it felt like the world forgot about me.”
“Stop right there.” Dad holds up his hand, but I don’t stop.
“Two days after he was born, I sat outside the school for an hour because you guys forgot to pick me up. One week later, you missed my first basketball game. At this point, I hated that baby even more. I just wanted him to go back to wherever that snow fell from.”
“Enough!” Dad screams.
“Four years later, he died, and it was all my fault.”
Dad’s feet sweep the room, back and forth. “No, Lars. It wasn’t your fault.”
“You can’t keep blaming Mom. How would she ever know that I’d ignore him while he wandered outside.”
“It wasn't your fault. It wasn’t your mom’s fault. It was my fault, dammit. Your mom had an important business meeting that day. We both knew it for weeks. I was supposed to be there with him, but I never came home the night before. I was at a hotel in the city having one of my dozen affairs while I left your mom to take care of you boys. She did what she had to do.” His face drops in his hands and for the first time in my entire life, I watch my dad cry. “I should have been there. It was always easier to blame your mom.”
Dad is not the affectionate type. I can count on one hand how many times I saw him kiss my mom. He rarely smiles. Doesn’t
