“I think she will never do anything of the kind,” he said. “I see now my suggestion was offensive. I apologize. I meant to show respect for you, not disrespect for Darra.”
“I accept your apology.” I did not say I would forget his words. I did not intend to forget them. But I sat back, taking a less forceful manner. “You also suggest that, whenever I come there, you might leave the camp where Darra has set her tent. If you do that, then we will hardly meet. You may consider that this is better. I do not agree. If we both decide to try this kind of marriage, then I think it will be important that we understand and respect each other. That will be even more important if I someday return permanently to the winter country.”
He bowed slightly, acknowledging the truth of this.
I went on. “You say you will set jealousy aside. You say you will not permit bitterness to come into your heart. You ask me to make the same declaration. I agree that if we cannot both hold to that resolve, this arrangement cannot stand. But if we do not come to know each other, then perhaps you may succeed in what you suggest, but I am perfectly certain I will not. I have a different suggestion. I think Aras will decide we should soon begin our journey south. I think you should ride with us, far enough that we come to know each other better.” If, once I came to know Elaro, I could not respect him, I did not want Darra to marry him, but I did not say that. Difficult as this was, everything would be even more difficult if that proved to be so.
“Perhaps this is a good idea,” he agreed. “I mean no offense when I wonder whether you may be thinking of something else as well. I wonder whether you may intend to be certain your Lau sorcerer has every good opportunity to look into my mind. I know he has sworn he will not reveal the private things he sees in anyone’s thoughts.” He politely did not indicate in any way that he knew Aras had already broken an oath even more important than that one. He merely went on, “But I think if he discovered I was not a man you could respect and not a man a woman such as Darra inKarano should marry, he would find a way to make his opinion clear.”
I inclined my head. I could not believe I would ever like him, but I did like the way he had set that realization out clearly rather than holding it close as an unspoken suspicion. “Yes,” I agreed. “You are right. That is another reason I suggest you might ride with us away from all these gathered people.”
“A man should take care to safeguard his wife. I take no offense.” He paused. Then he said, “I will go with you and with him when you begin your journey south. All your suggestions seem wise to me. If you will agree to marry in this way, I will accept everything you suggest.”
“Everything?” I studied him. “Perhaps you yield to me too readily. Perhaps your nature is not forceful enough to match mine. Or Darra’s.”
“I accept your suggestions because they are wiser than mine.” He met my eyes steadily. “I was trying very hard not to offend you. I tried too hard. I made a mistake, but only because I know Darra is unlikely ever to turn you away from her tent. She wishes very much to marry you, Ryo, and I know that. I do not need to take precedence. I hope I will argue if I consider the argument important, and I will defend myself if someone speaks slightingly of my honor, but I am not a quarrelsome man.”
“So,” I said neutrally. “Let us pause for forty breaths.”
He made a gesture of agreement. “I will count.”
For that long, we both sat quietly. Then he said, “My decision has not changed. I will still agree with everything you suggested. I have had many days to consider this matter. Perhaps you would like some days to consider it. That would be perfectly reasonable.”
“You may ask Darra to return now,” I said, partly to see whether he would protest.
He did not. He stood up and went out of the wagon. I thought he might be too easy-tempered to ever match me in any way. But perhaps that was only because we did not know each other yet, and because, as he said, he did not like to quarrel.
If everything had been different, I would probably like him.
If he traveled south with me for ten days, twenty days, perhaps longer, I thought we would both know whether the arrangement would be possible. But now it occurred to me that if Darra traveled with us, we would certainly find out whether it could work. I had not thought of that before. I should
