Darra put back the opening and came in. Elaro came in as well, a step behind her. She took the place on the other side of the brazier. He did not sit beside her, but instead took a place as far from her as from me.
Darra did not wait for me to speak first. She said, her voice admirably calm, “I hope you are not angry. I hope that very much, Ryo.” Despite the calm of her voice, her hands were tense where they rested on her knees.
“No,” I said. “Or yes, but I know that is not reasonable. Your choice was either to suggest this or to choose only one husband, who would not have been me. I should be pleased you wanted me enough to suggest this. I mean no offense when I say it may take some time for me to manage that. I hope at least I am not so stupid as to be unable to set anger aside.” I paused, setting my thoughts in order.
Then I asked, “Elaro explained everything to you? All the ways we think something like this could be managed?” I knew he had. That was why they had taken so long to return to the wagon.
“Yes,” she agreed. “I would agree to everything as you and Elaro thought best. All those arrangements seem reasonable to me, if they seem good to you.”
I nodded. I said, “I did not suggest this, but I think perhaps you and Elaro should both travel with me and with the Lau, from this place all the way to the summer country. By the time we come there, we will know whether this arrangement can be made to work.” I looked at them both. “I only thought of this now. But I think the idea is a good one. If we travel that far together, then we will certainly know whether we can agree to this. If we still agree on the day we come to the river, then I will stand up and say before the gods that Darra inKarano is my wife, and I will agree when you say I am your husband, even if you say Elaro is also your husband.”
If I decided otherwise, then this journey would ruin any lingering hope that the marriage could have been made to work. If that were so, I would probably regret I had not agreed to Elaro’s idea that he should simply stay out of my way. In some ways, I already regretted that I had not agreed to that.
But Darra let out a small breath, and her shoulders relaxed, and she smiled with more of her customary manner. “This is a very good idea, Ryo. I agree. My father will agree. Even my aunt will agree, and since she agrees with almost nothing I do, that is a remarkable thing for me to say. But she will agree to this.”
Elaro had straightened a little. “Certainly I agree. I have traveled into the borderlands, but not very often. I would like to do this.”
Darra smiled at him. “Traveling that far is nothing to you,” she said. Her tone was lighter, more teasing, than when she spoke to me. I set aside a bright, sharp stab of jealousy. I was not at all certain I wished to do that for many, many days to come. I was not at all certain I could do it. By the time we crossed the whole width of the winter country, I would undoubtedly know with a great deal more certainty whether that would be possible.
I could not sit still any longer, so I stood up. “We can speak more of this later,” I said to them both, and walked out.
-34-
Once I left Darra’s wagon, at first I had no idea where to go. I knew I did not want to speak to Aras, not yet. I did not want to come near him until my thoughts and my heart had become more settled. I did not want to come near anyone. But if I walked away by myself, I knew my thoughts and my heart would not settle at all, but become darker and angrier. If that happened, I would probably go to Darra and tell her no, I had thought again and decided this would not work, she should choose only one man, and later, if the right time came, I would approach some other woman. If I said such a thing, that would end this problem in a simple way.
But I did not want to do that. Except maybe I did. I could not decide, but I was almost certain I did not want to decide in a way that would end everything in too final a manner. Unless I did want that.
Then, finally, I thought of Lalani.
I should have thought of her first. Darra’s suggestion to me was very different from the arrangement of the soldiers with women like Lalani, but perhaps it might not be entirely different. I had not thought I could talk about this to anyone, but now I realized this was not so. I realized that in this matter, I would ask Lalani for advice even before I asked my mother.
I did not have to ask to know some things. I knew jealousy and bad feeling did not cause problems in her file. But many things were different there as well. Those men were soldiers, who fought together in the Lau formations and depended on one another. Also, the men senior in the file did not permit that kind of problem to occur. Also, Lalani herself behaved in ways that prevented problems of that kind.
Darra would not know how to prevent problems in the ways that Lau women managed
