Maeve hasn’t blinked, and the ferocity in the way she’s looking at me brings down my defenses. This has to be part of her allure. She has this disarming quality about her. When I first met her, it was there, and it’s only grown stronger with every appointment.
“Because of this,” she whispers. “Because I’m here, despite the fact you’re exactly what I don’t want to surround myself with. I’m breaking the only promise I’ve ever made to myself, and I didn’t even try to stop.”
I quirk a brow. I ask her to explain herself just as the waiter brings us water. She hasn’t even looked at the menu, but she orders a burger and a specific cocktail by name while he’s here. “I need a minute,” I say, clearing my throat. To Maeve, I say, “Been here before?”
The waiter tells me he’ll give me more time and leaves. “I know what I want,” Maeve says, drinking water and letting the glass hit the table with a clunk. “Knowing what is my thing. Knowing what I don’t want is also my thing.”
The words on the page jumble because I’m not seeing letters or words. “What do you mean when you say you’re breaking a promise to yourself? About me?”
Maeve slowly blinks. “What do you do for a living?”
Clearing my throat, I read the room. “I’m in the Navy.”
She licks her lips. “And what position do you hold in the Navy?”
Position? Doggy style? Reverse cowgirl? I’d take missionary, too. “I work in Special Forces.”
“You’re a SEAL,” Maeve deadpans, and averts her eyes. It’s a little jarring she’s called me out so effortlessly. “Remember how I told you I don’t date?” Her head swings over and I’m held captive by her eyes. “It’s because my fiancé died, and it was traumatic, and fully had to do with what he did for a living.”
I hold up a finger. “One, this is not a date, and I think we’ve both expressed that fact clearly. And two, are you saying my job is too dangerous for you?”
“Not just your job. It was his job, too. Rexy died by friendly fire in a training accident, and I vowed to never become attached to that kind of liability again.”
The waiter picks quite literally the worst time in the history of ever to reappear. “Can I take your order?”
Maeve looks at me blankly, eyes misty. “Do you have any allergies?”
Swallowing hard, I shake my head. She turns to the waiter. “He’ll have what I ordered.”
He nods and walks off. As he goes, I recall the accident she just mentioned. Our community is small enough, even with all of the new satellite bases around the US, that we’re only one or two degrees away from knowing every person in the Teams. “I’m sorry, Maeve. I had no idea. I knew of Rexy, he was an amazing operator.”
She closes her eyes. “Instead of marrying him, I buried him on the same day.” Our cocktails arrive and she drains hers while I think how to respond. “That’s why I almost canceled, Lincoln Wilds.” Sparkling eyes watering a bit more from the alcohol, she looks at me, and now I know I’m not mistaken, she actually sees me.
There’s nothing left to say now. “I’m so sorry.” It was a freak accident at a kill house. A bullet went through the ballistic wall in a section that had been weakened over time. There was no way to know the bullet would penetrate the military-grade material. Rexy was killed by his best friend. A shot from the other side of the wall that shattered so much. I remember getting the news like it was yesterday. How painful it was. How it could have been any of us. Shooting or being shot. We haven’t been back to that training facility in a year, and I try to remember the exact date it happened so I know how long it’s been since Maeve lost him.
“Arguing with you about this seems pointless. I understand your reasons, and I respect them. I won’t try to convince you otherwise. If you want to leave now, you can. If you want to eat first and never look back, you can. Whatever you want, Dr. Ahern.”
She signals to the waiter for another drink. “I’m already here and we’ve ordered.” She looks at me. “Did you miss the part where I didn’t cancel on you despite my past?”
“Honestly, I’d be upset if this ended tonight, and that’s not what I want at all, but I would understand.” There isn’t any code or rule book about dating another SEALs ex. In fact, probably the opposite is true. A brother caring for what another left behind is a great honor. “Maeve, his life is my life. You’re right. The same risks are involved in the job now.”
She presses her lips together. “I’m realizing that might be why I’m sitting here despite my best efforts. There’s some damn draw to you that I can’t ignore. Not because you look like him, but you do remind me of him.”
“He was a good man, and I can’t take that any other way than as a compliment.”
The bartender drops her drink off and she thanks him meekly. “When I was in the parking lot, I decided it didn’t matter. I haven’t felt even an ounce of interest for anyone since the day he died until you walked into my office. I’m willing to put your career aside and see where things go, but...” she says, trailing off.
“But what?”
“I won’t let my feelings get involved. I can’t.” Maeve shakes her head.
Exhaling, I realize she’s literally laying out the one scenario I can’t accept. Not with Turner. Not ever again. “I can’t do casual.
