“It’s cold,” he said as he wrapped his arms around himself, despite his thick winter jacket. I, on the other hand, wasn’t fazed by the cold, even though I wore a tight-fitting dress that hardly reached mid-thigh and a short coat. I was willing to bet it was because of my excess fat, which hugged me and kept me warm most of the time.
My high heels clicked on the pavement as we approached the house, my anxiety returning in full force because I would see Blake. He was inside and most likely hooking up with some model-worthy girl, and I didn’t doubt he would do something to make me regret coming to my best friend’s party.
I rang the bell and adjusted the strap of my purse higher on my shoulder. “How do I look?”
“You look p-p-perfect.” Aww. He was such a precious cinnamon roll.
“Don’t you think I look fat in this dress?”
He shook his head vigorously and pushed his glasses up his nose. “No! You aren’t fat at, at, at all, Jess.”
A certain person would beg to differ, but it was sweet of Kev to make me feel better about my looks. “Thanks. You look good too. Your hair looks good slicked back like that.”
The door opened before he could answer me, and Sarah appeared before us.
“Happy birthday!” I squealed and wound my arms around her skinny frame to pull her into my embrace.
She hugged me back. “Thank you, Jess. You smell nice. Is that a new perfume?”
“It’s my mom’s. Chanel No. 5.” I drew away to look at her with a grin.
She looked gorgeous in a dress that was similar to mine, only hers was blue while mine was burgundy. It emphasized her slim waist and perfectly proportioned hips, which I would never be able to have. All I had was the flab on my waist that I was clearly flashing to the world in this daring dress, although my mom had assured me I was beautiful. I also didn’t fail to notice how her long legs looked even longer in high heels. My short, tree-trunk-like legs would never—not in a million years—look as good as hers.
I always envied Sar for the way she looked and wished I could be so effortlessly thin. My therapist had said all of us were unique and I should appreciate what I had, but it was hard not to compare myself to others.
“You look amazing, Sar,” I told her. “That’s a killer dress.”
“I could say the same. Everyone will be drooling over you.”
Everyone but the person I want to, my treacherous mind chimed in, but I refused to listen to it.
“Happy b-birthday, Sar,” Kev said with a goofy smile as he hugged her.
“Thank you, Kevin. That shirt suits you.”
His eyebrows furrowed. “I don’t like it. I’m only wearing it b-b-because my mom b-bought it and wouldn’t take no for an answer.”
“Seriously, you look good in it.”
“This is from Kev, Mel, and me.” I handed her the gift.
Her brown eyes turned soft, and her pink glossy lips curved in a huge smile. “Thank you so much, guys. Now let’s get inside before we freeze to death.”
Kev and I linked our arms and entered. The hallway was packed with teenagers, and the sounds of “Ink” by Coldplay played by a live band boomed all around. We left our jackets in the entryway closet and followed Sar through the throngs of people to the living room. I couldn’t stop grinning, elated by the music encompassing me. Nothing could beat the way I felt when I listened to the music I liked. It was an unlimited source of inspiration.
The large living room was even more packed and filled with cigarette smoke that stung my eyes. The band played in the corner, while most of the people danced in the middle of the room.
“Jess! Kevin! My dear babies!” Mel emerged out of the dancing crowd with a red Solo cup in her hand. “I was beginning to think aliens had finally come to our precious planet and abducted you. You took forever to get here!”
I giggled and let her pull me into an almost suffocating hug. Melissa Brooks, my other best friend, was as witty and childish as ever.
“I’m sure you’d cross the whole galaxy to save us. Also, if you keep hugging me like this, you’ll squash me. Although, I wouldn’t mind it if it would cut my weight in half.”
“Girl, you don’t need that. You’re perfect just the way you are.” Mel singsonged a melody of her own, shaking her curvy hips as she pulled away from me. She looked amazing in a gray Green Day shirt, black faux-leather leggings, and Doc Martens with a rose pattern on the sides.
Sar rolled her eyes. “Mel is already drunk, so don’t mind her.”
“Maybe I’m drunk, but that only means double awesomeness.” Kevin and I fell into a fit of chuckles at that.
“That’s true,” Kev said. “It’s like awesomeness is your s-s-superpower.”
“You bet it is! Superman got nothing on me!”
My skin tingled with strange awareness, and I looked around us, my pulse picking up. I always reacted this way whenever Blake was nearby, but before, it was out of pure fear. Now? Now it was because of something I refused to acknowledge and fiercely hoped would disappear. I could almost feel his eyes on me, expecting to see him any moment, but I found Hayden Black’s gaze instead. He was headed our way.
He looked handsome in a dark gray T-shirt and jeans that fit his muscular form very well, demonstrating why he was considered one of the most attractive and popular guys at school. A few scars dotted his face—most of them a memento of the night he left the gang—but they did nothing to diminish his good looks. My eyes went to the tattooed words and various small shapes decorating his upper arms. They intrigued me, but I’d never asked Sar about their meanings because I guessed they were too
