“Yes, I know. Finn makes me happy too. He’s wonderful, but I don’t know if he’ll ever let me in. Do you?”
She just smiled and chewed on her fist—no answers there today. I had been working on words with her while I was here, and I told Finn it was important to talk to her and tell her the names for everything at this age. She was learning language right now, and she’d soak everything up like a little sponge if given the opportunity.
I pointed to the tree that grew tall right next to the railing of the porch, and I asked her, “Do you see the tree, Ameria? It’s a big tree, isn’t it? There’s lots of big trees out there.”
She looked out the window, then pointed and said, “Da da, dee.”
“You’re getting closer. No dee, it’s a tree. Can you say tree?”
She looked at me, then out the window again, pointed, and said, “Ma tee?”
I was so excited that I hugged her tight and gave her a big kiss, dancing her around while she giggled.
“Yes! It’s a tree! You’re so smart, missy ma’am. We need to learn some more words now.”
Just as I was about to turn from the window back to the play area to teach her more words with her toys, I noticed a dark figure moving through the trees down below. I froze and stared. I couldn’t make it out at first, but I kept tracking the figure. As it approached the cabin, I could tell it was a giant black bear. It didn’t seem scared of the building and actually walked as if it knew where it was going.
When the bear had gotten to the house, it lumbered up the stairs to the back porch, then walked toward the windows where we were standing. It was fascinating to see such a large wild creature up close. The closer it got, though, the more uncomfortable I became. This was no ordinary bear. This was a shifter, a woman in her bear form. A moment after she got to the window, she saw me inside holding the baby. Then all hell broke loose. The bear reared up on her hind legs, roaring and snarling and charging the window.
Ameria hid her head against my neck and whimpered, so I covered her head with my arm and turned her away from the window, still keeping an eye on the creature going nuts outside. I expected her to lunge through the window any second. If she did, I had enough power to protect us and fight. I gathered my power to do just that when all of a sudden, the bear stopped cold, looked back over her shoulder, then turned and ran back the way she’d come.
It took me a while to calm down and deal with the buildup of power I’d pulled to me. While dealing with that, I comforted the baby, and she eventually settled down to sleep on my shoulder. Instead of putting her down and puttering around the house, I sat in Finn’s comfy leather chair by the window and stood vigil. I didn’t know if the bear was a friend or foe to Finn. Was she an old flame? A jealous lover? Better question, was he even Bi?
I didn’t have any of those answers, but I knew I’d have to tell Finn what happened. I couldn’t tell him it was a shifter, though. I mean, I could break down and tell him the whole truth about who and what I was. It would be awkward for sure, but he wasn’t my only consideration. I had to think about my own predicament. I was already in so much trouble for even helping him this much. If I told him the truth, it would be even worse. No, I’d have to tell him it was a bear and keep the rest to myself. With my decision made, it felt like I was giving up on any possibility of ever being with Finn. That was a harder hit to my feelings than I would have imagined. For the second time today, I realized I was much more invested in my big grumpy Mage than I’d thought.
I watched the woods until the sun was beginning to set in the distance, and finally, I heard Finn come through the door. A few hours of sinking further and further into depression at the loss of someone I never even knew I wanted so much had taken a toll. As always, too much time to listen to all the dark and negative thoughts in your head was always a bad thing.
When he’d taken his boots off by the door, I stood up and met him by the sofa, baby still held close in her sleep. It was not lost on me that this was the exact place he’d run away from me earlier. It stung to think that he’d left me to go find out if the roads were clear so he could get rid of me once and for all. Yes, the evil voices in my head had been working overtime today. I didn’t want to think about it anymore. I wanted to run away like he did, but there was only one place I could go and be completely alone.
Handing him the still sleepy baby, I turned away quickly to conceal the tears threatening to spill onto my cheeks. As I walked to the bathroom, I threw my words over my shoulder, trying to keep
