“She’s been sleeping for a while. She’ll need changing and a bottle when she walks up. Oh, there was a huge bear that came up to the window and went ballistic for some reason when it saw us. It ran off, but I kept a lookout in case it came back. I need to pee and take a shower. I’m borrowing your robe again while I do some laundry.”
I didn’t wait for a response. I just disappeared quickly into his huge bathroom and shut the door, locked it, then leaned my forehead against the cool surface, letting my silent tears fall.
I pulled my navy sweater off with a little more force than necessary and threw it across the room towards the counter, not caring if it made it. Next, my long sleeve gray Henley went the same way. I ripped my jeans off, then kicked them to the floor and flung my boot socks onto my pile. Frustration hit me and I kicked the clothes, just because the small aggression felt good for just a second.
Staring at myself in the mirror, I watched the tears of sadness but also futility. My blond curls were a mess. Back home, I had never been able to cut it, so as soon as I’d left, I’d gotten a buzz cut. It had felt great at first.
We didn’t have pointed ears like the elves, so there was nothing to hide. We looked human, except we weren’t. The longer I’d been among the humans, the longer I had let my hair grow again. I had even grown a beard, but it didn’t suit me. Luckily it didn’t grow fast, or I would have a few days growth from not shaving this week.
I stroked my chin and jaw, feeling the scrape of hair there, but what did it matter. With my hair a mess and my blue eyes red with tears, I had never looked or felt more human in my long life. I felt helpless, weak, and like I was being thrown around by fate instead of staying above such things. I felt human, but I wasn’t. And that was the problem, wasn’t it?
Not for the first time this week, I wondered. Was I doing the right thing? Was not telling Finn the whole truth a colossal mistake? Telling him might make things better for now, but it would make things much worse for me in the long run.
Roughly wiping my tears away, I took a deep breath and decided the answers to any or all of those questions didn’t matter right this minute. I turned the shower on as hot as it would go and waited until the whole bathroom looked like a sauna. I shucked off my boxer briefs, then stepped under the hot spray to try and relax at least some of the tension I had been holding in the whole week.
Once again, my thoughts wandered to Finn. I considered trying to relieve some tension by rubbing one out but decided it wasn’t the best idea. Jerking off in the shower while also crying was the very definition of pathetic. I had already hit close to that target today, and I wasn’t going to try for the loser grand prize.
Heaving a sigh, I washed quickly, giving myself a much-needed pep talk. The weather would be better tomorrow. I’d be able to get down the mountain again. My adventure would be over soon, and I could indulge in my fantasies back at my tiny apartment in solitude. Or not. I’d have to decide what to do at that point.
Finishing up and drying off, I didn’t know why the idea of being alone was so depressing now. Being by myself and having my own place had been a dream of mine literally forever. With all my siblings and everyone else always around back home, the thought of having somewhere all my own, alone, had been my idea of heaven.
Now after spending time with Finn? It didn’t seem as satisfying. Maybe it was time to go home. Father had been asking me to come back and take over some of my duties again. If I couldn’t have what I wanted, or more precisely who I wanted, maybe it was time to give up this dream and go home.
Wrapping up in Finn’s massive forest green fluffy robe, I tied it so I would be decent and not trip, then left the bathroom and took my laundry down the stairs to the garage and started a load. I added some of the baby’s things as well. I saw a few of Finn’s things in a basket, but I wouldn’t dare wash Finn’s clothes. They were probably some special ancient wool or something. I could imagine me washing his kilts and sweaters and having them come out in the perfect size to fit the baby.
Feeling a bit off-kilter from my emotional turmoil, for just a second, I desperately wanted to throw one of his sweaters and a kilt in the load and see what would happen. I snickered as an image popped into my head. It would be awesome to see the princess in one of his sweaters and kilt. I refrained, but it was a very close thing.
After I started the load, I took a deep breath and went back upstairs. I knew I’d been hiding partly because of what I’d done earlier and Finn’s reaction. I had pushed and flirted, and Finn had run away. Deep into feeling sorry for myself, I couldn’t help sliding into self-recrimination. I could take a hint. I’d just back off and bide my time until I could leave. Maybe the road would be okay tomorrow, and I could start making plans to finish up here and go back home.
“Hey, Henry. Look!”
I was startled by Finn’s ecstatic call, so I hurried into the living room and saw why he was so excited.
