Seneca had A’Zul on a drip inserted into his arm. In addition to sedating him, it was filled with nutrients. It was removed right before they stretchered him off the ship. The medic told me it would wear off soon.
“KJ?” A’Zul’s obviously awake, but his eyes are unfocused and he’s lying back as if he’s still weak.
“Hey. I guess you’re wondering what happened to that nice clean cell you were in.”
“I’m surprised I’m alive. If I were Thantose I would have shot me.”
“Sextus did shoot you—with a stunner.” I’m at his side, relieved to see the muscle tone has returned to his face.
He gazes around the old wooden barn. It’s sturdy and surprisingly clean, but nothing fancy.
“Thantose was afraid you’d flail around and slice a hole in his hull. He decided everyone would be safer with you on a planet instead of a glorified tin can.”
“He was right. Why are you here?” He’s scowling.
“Because I’m with you, big guy. I thought we’d established that we’re a team.”
“Can you unfasten these bindings?”
I approach and touch the locks that are keyed to my biometrics. He sits up, rubbing his wrists.
“Where are we?”
After I explain where we are, he stands gingerly on the hay-strewn floor, then gives me a piercing gaze.
“You should be on that ship. I don’t know what’s going on with me. I’m not safe.”
I let him scold me for a few minutes, then tell him, “I knew you wouldn’t approve of my decision. I did it anyway. It’s too late to change things. Besides it turns out I might be safer here than on the ship.”
After I explain about Daneur Khour, and A’Zul scolds me one more time for not staying in the safety of the ship, he sweeps me into his arms and hugs me.
Has it been only three days without this? It feels like months. This huge male has crawled under my skin and into my heart. I press my lips to his pec and feel the reassuring rhythm of his heart.
“Thantose did the right thing to stun me. I have no control over my shifts. You can’t trust me. I can’t even trust myself.” As if on cue, he flickers, his face looking like a palomino for the briefest moment, then he turns back into a humanoid male.
His face is full of self-loathing. To distract him from that, I say, “Let’s explore Kallion.”
“I don’t deserve you,” he says as he drops a kiss on the top of my head.
“Perhaps,” I say as I shrug. “If you happen to turn into a horse you can give me a ride back to the barn. If you turn into a dragon you can fly me home.”
“They have names, you know.”
“Who?”
“My stallion is Ozias, my dragon form is Dranii.”
“Good to know,” I say with a smile. As they said in Alice in Wonderland—curiouser and curiouser.
A’Zul
She grabs my hand and heads away from the barn.
“Brin says there’s a waterfall this way. Let’s see how you do. If you don’t feel up to it today, maybe we’ll explore there tomorrow.”
“What did the medic say about my shifting?”
“He knows nothing about it. He’s not familiar with your race. And there is little to no information about your people or culture in the Intergalactic Database. When he realized you were a shifter it made sense that your DNA kept shifting and your organs were stronger than he’d ever seen. We wonder if maybe it’s just that your inner shifter was suppressed for so long because of the radiation it needs to get its mojo back.”
“Mo? Jo?”
“Well, that isn’t exactly how he put it. He said a lot of medical words, but that’s what he meant.”
We walk hand-in-hand for a while. “It reminds me of my planet, To’mah. It’s odd to see green grass, though.”
“What color is your grass?”
“Purple.”
“What did you look like? Before?”
The way she blurted that out so quickly, and the way her shoulders are hunched, as if she’s sorry she asked, tells me she’s wanted the answer for a long time.
“I was golden, with long thick hair I usually wore in a braid.” I consider telling her I was considered handsome, but decide against it. Pride is frowned upon by my people. Besides, that’s a distant memory. We both know what I look like now.
“I’ve seen you,” she says as she stops walking and yanks on my hand to pull me close.
“How?”
“When you were shifting the day all this started. I saw a golden male, the most handsome male I’ve ever seen. That’s your true form?”
My heart hurts as painfully as if it was being squeezed in a dragon’s claw. I keep my features impassive until I pull her forward. When we’re walking and she can’t see my face, I feel it vibrating with . . . what? Hurt? Anger? Pain? All of those emotions and more swirl inside me.
The picture I saw in our cabin’s mirror appears before me, mocking me. The most handsome male she’s ever seen looks nothing like me. Nothing. And it’s obvious I can’t shift back. I’ve lost so much.
“A’Zul? Did I . . .? I fucked up, didn’t I?”
“That was my true form,” I answer stiffly. Part of me wants to drag her into my arms and hold her to make things better, but nothing will fix this. “Let’s find the waterfall.” I make a path through thick green grasses.
KJ
I think I just told the big guy he’s ugly. No, I’m certain I did. Not only that, I told him he used to be gorgeous. No wonder he can’t bear to even glance at me right now.
