Well, I see it now.
The falls itself is unimpressive. Instead of seeing water cascading down a mountain like on Earth, it’s massive amounts of water falling over a hillock that’s maybe fifteen feet high. The deep crevasse into the planet below, though, must go down a long way, maybe a mile, because the noise is deafening.
All that water falling all that distance creates humid droplets forming into rainbows. There are dozens of rainbows arcing over the crevice, and dozens more in the chasm that plunges deep into the planet.
“Beautiful,” I say as I edge nearer the precipice.
“I knew you’d love this.”
We walk close to the edge, still holding hands as we stare down.
“There’s a rainbow down there that’s 360 degrees!” I exclaim. “Have you ever seen one like that?”
“No.”
After a while, we wander to a nearby hill and sit for a while. I glance at A’Zul and inventory his face. Now that I know him, that his presence is part of the fabric of my life, it’s hard to see him the way I did that first day in the horrible mine on Rhoid.
He’s not a big green alien with angular features and pebbled skin, he’s my friend—my best friend. And my lover. He’s neither handsome nor ugly. He’s simply A’zul, the male who makes my life immeasurably better.
“I want you,” I tell him levelly.
“Not the golden male?” he asks. This is not an accusation, but comes from an insecure place. I understand, it’s my fault he has those insecurities.
“I’d take that golden male in a heartbeat, A’zul, as long as this,” I tap my finger on his forehead, “was inside him.”
I lean toward him and wait for his mouth to meet me halfway. And it does. His soft lips nibble mine as he presses me back onto the fragrant grasses and leans next to me, both of us facing each other on our hips.
We’ve had sex dozens, maybe hundreds of times. There were the awkward fumblings in the dark between two different species who couldn’t communicate. There were the desperate, red-driven couplings in the cave that felt more compulsive than consensual. I can tell already that what’s happening here is going to be different.
He’s stroking my side from shoulder to hip as if we have all the time in the world. Maybe he’s right, there’s nothing that will intrude here.
He stops. There’s an urgency in his gaze as if he needs to tell me something right this second.
“I dreamed of this KJ. In my private thoughts back on To’mah, my mate had golden hair like yours, and golden skin to match. I like that you’re not what I expected. You’re right, what’s in here,” he taps my forehead, “is more important than skin and bones. You saved my life as much as I saved yours. You came back for me and pulled me out of the mine. You chose to leave your people to come here with me. It speaks loudly to me. Will you be my mate?”
My gaze flies to his. I had to double-check, but by the serious look on his face, the way his eyes don't flinch from mine, I know he means what he said.
“Mate?”
“Mate. To be with me forever. To do what we’ve done since the moment we met. To help each other even when it means personal sacrifice. To be honest even when it hurts. Yes, be my mate.”
My heart tears in two. Everything he said is true. He beautifully described what we have. But he omitted the most important thing. Hot tears gather behind my eyes.
He must see the sadness on my face because everything about him changes. His nose flares and the corners of his mouth turn down. Every muscle in his body hardens and he pulls away a few inches.
“I understand. It was stupid of me to presume. I—”
“Not stupid, A’Zul. What you said sounds wonderful, but there’s something missing.”
“I understand, KJ. Your heart doesn’t beat for me like mine does for you. Your mind isn’t consumed by thoughts of me as mine is for you. You don’t dream of a thousand ways to ease my burdens like I do for you. You don’t wake up in the middle of the night just to look at my sleeping face to make certain there’s the smallest smile on it, and if there isn’t vow to the Gods to make tomorrow even better for you. I have these feelings for you, KJ. I wish you returned them, but I understand.”
Oh my God, I’ve never seen a face so transformed by heartbreak before. He’s the picture of misery. He can’t even look me in the eyes.
As he rolls away from me and attempts to rise, I grab his wrist and pull him toward me.
“I do have those feelings for you A’Zul. I didn’t think you had them for me.”
His head actually tips back in surprise, his gaze finding mine.
“You talked about what we did for each other, but you didn’t mention your feelings, your heart.” I place my palm on his chest, over his beating heart. “But you just described them so beautifully. I just wanted to hear one word, but you gave me so many exquisite ones.”
His face is alight with happiness, his eyes warm and tender.
“What word did I miss, KJ? I’ll say it a hundred times.”
“Love, A’Zul. You didn’t mention it.”
His eyes examine my face as if to inspect, to ensure I’m telling the truth.
“That word can be cheap. On To’mah it was used to describe
