He followed her, reaching for her. “I love you too, Kinsley. So, what’s the problem?”
“I love you,” she repeated firmly, her eyes pleading with him to understand. “But I’m not in love with you. There’s a difference.”
He pulled back, his face blank, like she’d just slapped him. “You…you aren’t in love with me? But…what about your plans? I mean, you had the wedding all planned out. You…You’ve even bought your wedding dress!”
She nodded, the tears streaming down her face now. “I know that. I know! And believe me, it’s breaking my heart!”
His expression shifted from confused and hurt to angry. “So, if it’s breaking your heart, then why are you doing this? You had plans, Kinsley! We were going to have a future together!”
She nodded, understanding his anger. “I know. I know and I don’t really understand what happened.”
He ran a hand through his hair, pacing back and forth. Then he turned, glaring daggers at her. “I know what happened! It was that bastard! Your new boss, isn’t it?”
“What?” she gasped, horrified. But even though her feelings for Lincoln were intense and confusing and…inappropriate, that only showed clearly why she couldn’t marry Carl.
“Carl, this has nothing to do with Lincoln. It’s about how I feel for you.”
“Don’t even try that on me, Kinsley! Before Friday night, we were fine! Everything was fine! You had a plan and I was fine with your plan. Then we have dinner in that bastard’s house and now you want him. What was it? Does he have more money? Is that what you’re after?”
“NO!” she gasped, disgusted by his accusation. “And you know me better than that!”
He threw his arms in the air. “That’s the thing, Kinsley! I thought that I knew you! I thought we had it all worked out and we were going to have a great future together!”
She nodded. “I know. It’s just…!”
“Stop!” He snarled. “Just stop right there! This is crazy, Kinsley! You can’t just…throw away everything that we had together. It doesn’t make sense.”
No one agreed with him more than she did. But she couldn’t deny her feelings for Lincoln.
“And yet, you’re standing there, looking lost and confused when I’m the one trying to make sense of this insanity?”
Kinsley lifted her eyes, silently pleading with him to understand something that she didn’t fully understand herself. “I know that this doesn’t make a lot of sense.”
He lifted his hand, palm out, stopping her from saying anything more. “NO! This isn’t happening!” He took a deep breath. “We’re not breaking up, Kinsley,” he declared. “I’ll admit that I’ve been a bit slack in the romance department lately. But that’s just how relationships go.” He looked around, shaking his head as if trying to come to terms with everything. “I’m going to go home now. We’re going to let things cool off. We’re not breaking up, but we’re going to…” he trailed off, obviously searching for words.
There was a long silence as Carl stared down at his shoes, his hands fisted on his hips. Then he lifted his head, and took another deep breath. “Have sex with him.”
Kinsley wasn’t sure what he was going to say, but that definitely hadn’t been one of the options she’d anticipated. Her eyes widened on surprise. “What?”
Carl nodded sharply. “I want you to have sex with your boss.”
She pulled back, feeling as if she was the one who had just been slapped now. “That’s not going to happen, Carl! He’s my boss! We don’t have a sexual relationship.”
His lip curled upward into a sneer. “Don’t insult my intelligence, Kinsley. I was there! I could feel the tension crackling between you!”
“That’s not true!” she called back, hurt and…was he right?
“I can see the truth in your eyes! You want him! So do it! Get him out of your system!” His tone softened and he looked defeated. “Just do it, Kinsley. Have sex with your boss. And when you’re finished,” he paused, swallowing hard as he closed his eyes. “When you’re finished, when he dumps you, then come back to me.” He sighed. “I love you, Kinsley. I’ll take you back. That’s what a real relationship is about. That’s real love.” He opened his eyes. “I’ll forgive you. I won’t deny that this hurts and I’m angry, but this is a real relationship. We’ll figure this out. Together.”
And without another word, he walked out of her apartment. He didn’t even slam the door.
Kinsley felt her knees give out and she sank down onto the sofa. What had she just done? She’d broken up with a good man because…
Because she didn’t love him enough. Because she didn’t desire him…at all. She wanted to add “enough” onto the end of that sentence, but the reality was, she didn’t have any desire for Carl.
Which was probably why they had never had sex. They’d been dating for too long for them not to have…Oh good grief! They’d never even talked about sex! Not really. At the beginning of their relationship, they’d had a conversation about their future, about how they both wanted to wait for sex until they were married. And it had never come up again after that. She’d never even been frustrated at the lack of sex in their relationship. She hadn’t even noticed.
And wasn’t that the most telling clue? Not that she madly desired Lincoln. But that she didn’t desire Carl at all?
Looking around through a haze of tears, she noticed the remnants of their meal still on the table. They hadn’t even gotten through dinner before she’d devastated their lives.
Standing up, she picked up their plates and dumped everything into a plastic container. She’d have that for dinner tomorrow night, she thought. She dumped out the wine, having not even tasted it. When the kitchen was cleaned up and the food put away into
