• Don’t be anxious: don’t hover, don’t worry, don’t get irritated, remain calm. (I have a hard time with this one.) Relax and enjoy and your kids will too.
French Food Rule #9:
Eat mostly real, homemade food, and save treats for special occasions. (Hint: Anything processed is not “real” food.)
Ellyn Satter, one of America’s best-known writers about children and food, argues that parents should help their children become “competent eaters.” This is another way of thinking about the French Food Rules: they develop competence. But the French also emphasize the importance of pleasure (not unrestrained pleasure, not gluttony, but rather simple, sensual enjoyment) and balance, both nutritional and psychological. Eating too much, or too little, is a sign that something is out of balance. Gaining too much pleasure from food, or too little, is also a sign that something is out of balance. Eating only “super-healthy” food, or only junk food, is also a sign of imbalance.
By practicing moderation, and by following routines and rules that they know will help them eat a nutritious, balanced diet, the French are free to focus on enjoying themselves. Note that this does not mean that the French deprive themselves of treats. On the contrary, they believe that allowing moderate consumption of treats helps everyone (not just children) develop a healthy, balanced attitude toward food.
Rule #9 Tips on Eating “Real Food”
• Only eat fast food on days starting with F. (For a while, my husband succeeded with this variation: “Only eat fast food on days starting with Z.” But that only worked until Sophie learned how to spell the days of the week in both languages.)
• Fill your kids up with real food before they are served treats. For example, serve fresh fruit after the main course and before sweetened desserts.
• Try just a dot of butter, rather than ketchup, on vegetables. Fat is an essential nutrient (everyone needs it in small quantities), and the French believe that butter (in moderation) is best! Plus, kids have fun watching it melt!
• Limit junk, fast, and “fake” foods to a once-per-week treat.
• The average French household spends one-quarter of its food budget (excluding desserts) on vegetables. What would your weekly menus look like if you did that?
• If your children like a food that you consider unhealthy, don’t try to talk them out of liking it. Instead, tell them: “That’s for kids. You’ll grow out of liking that as you grow up.”
French Food Rule #10:
Eating is joyful, not stressful.
Treat the food rules as habits or routines rather than strict regulations; it’s fine to relax them once in a while.
A “food rule” sounds a bit ominous to North American ears. It implies exerting control over someone (or something). But the French don’t view it that way. They view rules as the basis for good habits and routines. The goal of “food rules” is not to police children’s eating. Rather, the goal is to help your children acquire healthy food beliefs and eating habits for themselves.
In fact, some research has shown that overly controlling (“authoritarian”) parenting styles can backfire. Forcing children to clean their plate, for example, can disrupt children’s own internal cues and responsiveness to feelings of hunger and fullness—literally teaching them how to overeat. Forcing them to eat their vegetables may actually increase dislike of those vegetables and reduce their willingness to accept new foods; studies have shown that children of strictly controlling parents actually eat fewer vegetables and more high-fat foods. And strictly serving only healthy, low-fat foods can create preferences for high-fat foods. Studies of adolescent girls, in particular, suggest that parental pressure is associated with the emergence of unhealthy eating behaviors—precisely the results that worried parents don’t want.
A simple way to check whether you’re on the right track or not is to ask yourself whether what you’re doing will create long-term anxiety for your children. French parents believe that healthy eating habits can be achieved without anxiety. Food is a source of pleasure rather than worry. This comes as a surprise to many Americans. For us, eating is often anxiety-ridden: after all, eating can make you sick or make you healthy. So we tend to focus on nutrition and vitamins, and take a quasi-medical view of food. For the French, eating is about enjoyment: food is one of life’s shared pleasures. They don’t count calories (certainly not for their children), but rather have an intuitive sense of a balanced, reasonable diet.
Yes, this seems contradictory (and somehow unfair). We worry more, and we eat less well. The French worry less, and eat much better. But if you remember the “food is fun” principle, it all makes sense. This philosophy also applies to the food rules: don’t worry if they get bent or broken once in a while. Think of them as routines that your family usually (but perhaps not always) follows, and you’ll be on the right track, because nobody is perfect, n’est-ce pas?
French Recipes for Kids
Fast, Simple, Healthy, and Tasty
The simplicity of these recipes may surprise you. Most French families don’t eat Cordon Bleu cooking every night and don’t spend hours slaving over the stove. Ordinary French families make dishes that are tasty and healthy while still being simple to make, which I very much appreciate as a full-time working mom with no help at home. So these recipes are quick and easy, with an average of four main ingredients per dish.
There is another advantage to simple recipes: they awaken children’s interest in food without overpowering their taste buds. So when making meals for their children, French families don’t overseason. They typically use just a small number of seasonings, like butter, fresh herbs, and lemon juice. The natural tastes of foods are the focus. In fact, this is one of the central principles of French cuisine: the preservation of natural flavors and textures.
There is also a practical reason for this simplicity: because most children eat their largest meal of the day at school, and a majority
