Bochen and Cherry and Mercury and some other international students have pooled their food and laid out a picnic and there is unspoken respect between Bochen and Cherry and me now because those girls are wilder than you’d imagine.
Somewhere in the middle, pretending she is nowhere in particular at all, Chloe is sunk like a happy stone in the grass.
We made it. We survived.
There’s still a Yin-shaped gap in the world, there always will be. A Yin-shape in the clouds, in a passing shadow, in the shape of a tree.
She’s here, I know, or if she’s not, I’m going to pretend hard that she is. Here in my head, not easily forgotten. Wherever she is, I hope she has the curly hair of her dreams, the hair she always wanted instead of the straight hair she got. I hope she lives out every career she ever considered, I hope she gets to play clarinet all day long, hell, I hope there are only hot available clarinet players in her village.
Nothing will ever be the same, but I allow the sun to sink into my body, let myself be optimistic for a change.
I weave my way from the tap near the tennis courts, through the scattered girls, my filled-up water bottle in my hand. How easy it would be to pop the top off it and sweep my arm like a powerful wizard drawing an arc of magic, shooting surprise splashes of cold water over these relaxed bodies, these brave girls.
Making us scream, making us feel more alive.
Acknowledgments
The Gaps took seven long years to write and was a difficult book to get across the line. I started writing it, unexpectedly, during a residency at Peking University, which was supported by Asialink Arts and the Malcolm Robertson Foundation. Asialink provides significant cultural exchanges between Australia and Asia, and my residency in Beijing was a life-changing opportunity. Thank you so much to Liu Hongzhong and David and Karen Walker for their friendship and support on this trip, and to the Australian Studies Centre at Peking University for hosting me. Much gratitude also to Zhang Bochen and Zhan Chunjuan for interesting conversations and lending me their names.
I wrote The Gaps with the support of the Victorian Government, through Creative Victoria.
Many thanks to my early readers, writing cheer squad and unofficial career advisers: Andrew McDonald, Myke Bartlett, Chris Miles, Alison Arnold, Bronte Coates and Marisa Pintado. I’m so grateful to Wai Chim, Nina Kenwood, Robert Newton and Lili Wilkinson for taking the time to read my book and support a fellow writer.
I have worked at the independent bookshop Readings for more years than I can count, and I couldn’t have a writing career at all without the understanding and friendship of my wonderful colleagues, all of whom absolutely believe in the power of books and can deliver carb-loading and amateur psychotherapy in the same session.
Thank you to the amazing team at Text; they’re a passionate, hard-working and professional bunch and I’m so fortunate to have them championing my work. I’m extremely grateful to Imogen Stubbs for designing such a gorgeous and fitting cover. Special thanks to my editor Samantha Forge for her calm manner, excellent insights and careful attention. Thank you to Vanessa Lanaway for her meticulous proofreading.
Finally, my family and friends have always understood my strange ways and showed a keen interest in my writing. Thank you Mum, Dad, Jacqui and Carly. Big kisses to Grant, and unlimited heavenly doggy treats to Minnie, who faithfully kept me company for so many years.
Leanne Hall is an author of young adult and children’s fiction. Her debut novel, This Is Shyness, won the Text Prize for Children’s and Young Adult Writing, and was followed by a sequel, Queen of the Night. Her novel for younger readers, Iris and the Tiger, won the Patricia Wrightson Prize for Children’s Literature at the 2017 NSW Premier’s Literary Awards. Leanne works as a children’s and YA specialist at an independent bookshop.
PRAISE FOR THE GAPS
‘Haunting and beautiful. At first it has the page-turning
addictiveness of a thriller and then it evolves into a
captivating exploration of grief, guilt and resilience in
the face of fear and uncertainty. Hall’s characters are
meticulously drawn, brave, fierce and vulnerable.
A stunning achievement from an Australian treasure.’
WAI CHIM
‘A powerful, compelling read about the fragility,
resilience and fierceness of girlhood. Unputdownable.’
LILI WILKINSON
‘Hall’s writing is breathtakingly good.
The Gaps is a lightning bolt of a novel about
power, privilege, race, art and identity.’
NINA KENWOOD
‘A creeping psychological thriller about loss and
fear and guilt and the fractured relationships
that are left behind. Brilliant.’
ROBERT NEWTON
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Copyright © Leanne Hall, 2021
The moral right of Leanne Hall to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted.
All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright above, no part of this publication shall be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise), without the prior permission of both the copyright owner and the publisher of this book.
Published by The Text Publishing Company, 2021
Book design by Imogen Stubbs
Cover images by Shutterstock and Stocksy
Typeset by J&M Typesetting
Printed and bound in Australia by Griffin Press, part of Ovato, an accredited ISO/NZS 14001:2004 Environmental Management System printer.
ISBN: 9781922330482 (paperback)
ISBN: 9781925923933 (ebook)
A catalogue record for this book is available from the National Library of Australia.
