‘I am happy, if you don’t count dodging V1s and V2s every day on the roads, watching people die because you can’t get them to a hospital fast enough because the roads have been blown up, or trying to stop an old lady from going into what’s left of her home after it’s been blitzed. London was never going to be forever, Margot,’ he said, bending down and looking into her eyes. ‘We were only ever going to be here until the war ended. We said we’d go home once it was over and start a family. Or have you forgotten?’
‘No, I haven’t forgotten. How could I, you’re always reminding me.’
‘What? I can’t remember the last time we talked about going home, or starting a family.’
‘That’s because we don’t talk about it. You do.’
‘That’s not fair, Margot.’
‘I’m sorry. Of course I haven’t forgotten,’ Margot said, putting her arms around Bill’s neck. ‘It’s just that things are going well for us at the moment. We have a nice home, good friends--’
‘We’ll have a nicer home and make new friends. We can live wherever you want: Lowarth, Rugby, Coventry-- You choose,’ Bill said, resting his chin on her head and rocking her gently.
‘What about my job?’
‘There’ll be other jobs. I’m sure your old employers--’
‘You’re not listening, Bill. What about my job in the theatre, at the club and The Talk of London? How many theatres and clubs are there in Lowarth and Rugby? As for going back to working in a factory or an office, how the hell can I do that?’
‘But you said--’
‘That was five years ago, before the war. Before I’d worked in the theatre. It’s different now.’
‘No, Margot,’ Bill shouted. ‘It isn’t different! Nothing has changed except you are going back on your word. As usual it doesn’t matter what I want, it’s all about you and what you want.’ He stormed out of the room.
‘The war isn’t over yet!’ Margot shouted after him. Seething, she took the breakfast dishes into the kitchen. When she returned she heard the front door slam.
Out of breath and drenched to the skin from running in the rain, Margot knocked on the door of the Ambulance Controller’s office. She didn’t wait to be invited in. ‘Did Bill come in to work this evening?’
‘Yes. They’ve just come back. I don’t know where they are, but you could try the cafeteria.’
‘I didn’t think Bill was on tonight.’
‘He wasn’t, but he was here when a couple of FANYs called in sick, so he went out on a shout.’
‘Who with?’ Margot asked, even though she knew what the controller would say.
‘Jenny was driving. Bill was her first-aider.’
'Thank you.’ Margot forced herself to smile, and left. She hadn’t taken more than a couple of steps across the ambulance park towards the hospital’s main entrance when a strip of light, hardly more than a flash, cut through the darkness from a side door, attracting her attention. She peered through what was now driving rain. She hoped it was Bill. It was Jenny.
‘Looking for Bill?’
‘Yes!’ Margot said, misjudging the depth of the curb and stumbling. To save herself from falling headlong into a puddle, she put her right foot down heavily and twisted her already painful ankle.
‘Ooops!’ Jenny said, laughing. ‘Bit early isn’t it, Margot, even for you?’
Treating the insinuation that she was drunk with the contempt it deserved, Margot carried on walking, her ankle throbbing.
‘You’ll lose him, you know,’ Jenny shouted after her, ‘but then you don’t deserve him anyway.’
Ignoring the pain in her ankle, Margot spun on her heels. ‘What do you mean, I’ll lose him and I don’t deserve him? You know nothing about me, and even less about my relationship with my husband.’ She moved towards Jenny, who stepped backwards. ‘Yes! My husband!’ Margot spat. ‘Not yours!’
‘Not for long,’ Jenny said, regaining her confidence. ‘Look at you. You’re a drunk, Margot Dudley. You’re an argumentative, conceited, self-centred drunk! And when Bill sees you for what you are, he’ll come back to me.’
Margot’s eyes blazed with anger. ‘Come back to you? How the hell can Bill come back to you, when he has never been with you? You’re deluding yourself again, Jenny.’
‘After my flat was bombed, Bill and me--’
‘What?’ Margot laughed out loud. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. ‘Your flat wasn’t bombed, Jenny – except in the twisted fantasy world you live in – because you didn’t have a flat. I went to your imaginary flat, remember?’ Jenny looked at Margot, her lips a tight line, her eyes black with hate. ‘You promised me if I didn’t tell Bill you’d made it up, you’d leave him alone.’
Without taking her eyes off Margot, Jenny put her hands over her ears. Then, jerking her head from side to side, she started to sing. ‘La-la-la-la! La-la-la-la…’
‘You begged me not say anything to Bill,’ Margot shouted above Jenny’s insane chanting, ‘and I didn’t. I didn’t tell him, and I didn’t tell your controller, because you’d have been sacked if I had – and this is how you repay me!’
‘Bill would be with me now, if you hadn’t come back from ENSA before I had time to--’ Jenny looked wide-eyed, like a rabbit caught in the headlights of a car.
‘Time to what?’ Jenny didn’t answer. ‘Before you had time to what?’ Margot shouted.
‘Make him love me! And he would have done too, if you hadn’t come back and ruined everything. He wanted me as much as I wanted him. He loved me, I know he did. We’d have been happy if it hadn’t been for you,’ she screamed, and she lunged
