‘Well,’ he said, leaning across his desk and looking sympathetically at her. ‘It isn’t advisable to just stop taking tablets that your body has become used to. I’ll lower the dosage and give you something to help you feel livelier in the mornings. Fifteen minutes after taking one of these,’ he said, writing the prescription, ‘you’ll feel as bright as a button.’
Margot took the prescription and read it. It meant nothing to her. ‘I wish I didn’t have to take more tablets. Can’t I go back to taking just one, for the pain in my ankle?’
‘Yes, in time, but you have to reduce the dosage of the other tablets first. Coming off medication too quickly can be harmful. There are side effects--’
‘Side effects?’
‘Yes, but that’s nothing for you to worry about. You’re a very special patient, Margot, and I’m going to look after you personally. In time I shall have you as fit as a fiddle,’ he said, walking her to the door. I’m sure you will, Margot thought. As long as I keep paying, you’ll keep looking after me. ‘Book Miss Dudley in for the next six weeks at around this time,’ he said to the receptionist.
‘Six weeks?’
‘If I’m going to wean you off the sleeping tablets, as you’ve asked me to do, I need to monitor you every week. First we’ll see how you get on with the new tablets. Then, if everything’s satisfactory, we’ll lower the dosage of the old ones.’ Smiling, the doctor shook Margot’s hand and returned to his office.
The receptionist wrote Margot’s name in the appointment book, then handed her a card with the times and dates of her appointments written on it. ‘We’ll send the bill,’ she said. Then she got up and went into the waiting room, presumably for the next patient, and Margot left.
The following week Margot cancelled her appointment. She was no longer going to line the private doctor’s pockets. He’d had enough money out of her and as far as she could see, done very little for it. She would take herself off the sleeping pills and pick-me-ups when she was ready. Besides, she was too busy to take the time off. She was rehearsing in the day, performing at night and after doing cabaret at the Albert or The Talk of London she was going to parties, or jitterbugging into the early hours at Rainbow Corner, the American canteen in Piccadilly. One small pill put her to sleep at night, another woke her up in the morning, and one took away the pain in her ankle. She had never felt better.
‘Margot? What on earth’s the matter?’ Natalie Goldman said, seeing Margot on the floor in the corner of her dressing room. With her eyes shut, clutching her knees and rocking back and forth, Margot began to shake her head and cry. ‘Would you take Margot’s other arm, Miss Lesley and we’ll help her to her feet?’ Natalie said. She nodded her thanks to Stan, who had alerted Miss Lesley to how ill Margot looked when she arrived at the theatre, and he left the dressing room, closing the door quietly.
‘Leave me alone,’ Margot hissed, resisting help from the two women. ‘He mustn’t know I’m here, or he’ll-- Shush! If he finds me he’ll kill me.’
‘Who’ll kill you, dear?’ Pamela Lesley asked.
Margot’s eyes narrowed, darting round the room like a frightened child. Breathing in short, sharp gasps she said, ‘Listen! Can’t you hear him? He knows I’m here. Please God, save me.’ Her eyes flashed from Pamela Lesley to Natalie Goldman. ‘Natalie?’ Margot said, as if she was seeing her for the first time. ‘You won’t let him hurt me, will you? Say you won’t. Say it!’ she begged.
‘I won’t let him hurt you. I wouldn’t let anyone hurt you, Margot. Nor will Miss Lesley, will you, Pamela?’
‘No, Margot dear. You’re safe with us.’
Reassured, Margot allowed the two women to help her to her feet. ‘I’m so tired,’ she said as they steered her across the room to the chaise longue.
‘Why don’t you have a lie down?’ Natalie put a pillow under Margot’s head. A second later she closed her eyes. Natalie Goldman motioned to Miss Lesley to move away. ‘I don’t want her to hear… Thank you for coming to me, Pamela. And thank you for helping me now. I couldn’t have managed her on my own.’
‘I’m very fond of Margot,’ Pamela Lesley said, ‘very fond indeed.’ For some time the two women stood without speaking and watched Margot sleep. It was Pamela Lesley who broke the silence. ‘What I’m about to tell you is for your ears only, Natalie.’
‘Of course. Go on.’
‘As you know, there is always chit-chat and gossip in the theatre – and most of it is harmless. However,’ Pamela Lesley said, ‘I overheard the usherettes talking about Margot last night. They were saying she drinks in the dressing room.’
‘There is always a bottle of champagne, brandy, or some sort of alcohol in the cupboard--’
‘She brings it in and hides the empty bottles, one of the casuals said.’ Natalie’s eyes widened. ‘But don’t worry. The girl gave me her word she wouldn’t tell anyone. I promised her a job as soon as there’s an opening to make sure. But that’s by the by,’ she said, turning to look at Margot. ‘What people do, or don’t do, is their business, but Margot has worked so hard to get where she is, it would be a terrible shame if she threw it all away.’
Natalie sighed. ‘It would. I wonder if Bill knows?’
‘No! And he mustn’t,’ Margot shouted, reaching out to Natalie. ‘I’ll stop. I won’t drink any more, I promise. I’ll do anything, but please don’t tell Bill,’ she begged.
‘I won’t tell him, if you let me help you.’
Margot looked at Natalie for a long minute, and then nodded.
