It feels like an ostrich has just launched itself off of my shoulders. “You mean that?”
“I do mean it. I was so scared of losing you, that in the process, I did just that.”
I let out a sigh, not ready to give in yet, but I can feel myself caving.
“I know I’m a day late and many dollars short, but I’d like to help. What do you need?”
I smile to myself. “It turns out I don’t need anything.”
“That’s my girl,” he says.
I walk a few steps, letting silence sit between us, and then I say, “Maybe you can come visit another time?”
“I’d like that. Tell me about the job.”
I glance at Bailey and Janelle, who look like they’re wrapping things up. “I’m tied up right now, but can I call you later?”
“Sure, honey. I love you.”
I press my hand against my heart, feeling myself decompress for the first time in months. “I love you, too, Dad.”
I walk over to where Bailey and Janelle are and survey the empty pavilion area with them. “Ladies, I think this was a huge success,” Janelle says.
“We had more people here than last year, didn’t we?” Bailey asks.
“It definitely felt that way.” Janelle turns to me. “You were such a great help. You better watch out. We’re going to recruit you for PR.”
“I’m just happy to be here,” I say.
Janelle shoulders her purse. “That’s it for me. I’ll see you ladies on Monday.”
“See you,” we say, and I grab my bag from the pavilion stairs.
“So a bunch of us are going out this evening,” Bailey says. “We’d like you to join us.” She gives me a significant look.
My stomach flutters. “Um, is...” I don’t know how to ask whether or not Brett’s going to be there.
She takes my hand and squeezes it. “We all want you to be there. You’ll find the name of the place and the time in your tablet.”
She smiles and walks away, leaving me curious and even more anxious than I was when I started the day.
I fish the tablet out of my bag and scroll down to where Brett’s family name is.
Can we talk? Dolphin’s Fin. Seven o’clock.
I press the tablet to my chest, getting my second wind for the day.
As I walk into the restaurant, my heart gallops in my chest like it’s striding to win the Kentucky Derby. I don’t know what I’m walking into or who all is here, but it feels like change is on the horizon.
I walk outside to the deck, where I find the whole group sitting at a picnic table. Cohen, Logan, Simone, and Bailey are on one side. On the other side sits Isaac, Val, Tori…and there he is.
The whole group shouts my name like I’m a celebrity, making the loneliness of the day disappear.
“We saved you a seat right here,” Bailey says, pointing across from her.
Brett stands up and steps away from the table, walking over to me. “Can I talk to you a minute?”
“Yeah,” I say, my voice coming out softer than I mean it to.
I follow him down some steps, and we kick our shoes off at the bottom and step into the powdery sand. We walk toward the surf in silence as I wait for him to start. Even though I have a million things to say, all I want to do right now is listen.
He stops as we get to the shore and faces me, looking like he’s ready to run a marathon. “It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that I’ve behaved poorly these past couple of months. I’ve been so angry with myself that I lost sight of how my own anger and isolation affect others. I don’t know if you feel this way at all or not, but I want you to know that no part of me has blamed you for what happened that night. And I know that may sound assumptive to say. You may not have felt that way at all. But it’s been brought to my attention that my selfish behavior affects others in ways that I don’t realize.” He looks me in the eye. “Do you mind if I ask how that night has affected you or if it has at all? And it’s okay if it hasn’t. I just—”
“Brett, it definitely has affected me. Of course it has. I’ve felt like my selfish behavior is why your grandmother is not with you anymore.”
“It wasn’t your behavior.”
I hold up a hand up, indicating for him to let me finish, and he does.
“I didn’t understand. You told me about your family and your grandma and about Matthew. But I interfered with that dynamic because I was selfish. I got caught up at work and didn’t give you enough time during the week, and then when I saw you, I had all these raging hormones that felt like they took my whole body prisoner.”
He looks down, his cheeks going red.
“I have a ton of guilt,” I say. “I know you do, too. And I know the burden you carry has got to be huge. I just want to make you feel better.”
He shakes his head, looking away from me, reminding me of his brother. “I don’t deserve you. I don’t even deserve your friendship.”
I take his hand. “You have my friendship. And you have much more if you’ll take it from me.”
He meets my gaze. “I haven’t lost you?”
I shake my head, the pressure at the backs of my eyes releasing like a dam.
He cups the back of my neck and pulls me to him. His lips on mine send my body into orbit. He pulls away and then brings me to his chest, embracing me, warming my heart, and making me feel like I’m finally home.
Hoots and hollers erupt from
