‘Talking about parties,’ said Steve, draining his glass, ‘shall we go on a holiday? I can book something last minute, something cheap and cheerful? We could take Vivian?’
‘I’m not sure I can afford it this year,’ I told him, feeling guilty for lying again about my finances. I could afford it; I just wasn’t sure Vivian would behave. ‘And I’ve already booked our Dorset holiday at the end of term. Definitely soon, though – maybe a weekend somewhere? Abi and Gavin owe me some sleepovers!’
I felt guilty brushing him off, but I knew there was no way I would ever leave Vivian by herself. I didn’t trust anyone else with her enough to actually go away. I briefly wondered what she was up to at Molly’s, but then Steve started telling me about his latest Bristol beefcake and I was too busy laughing at his stories to think about anything else.
Vivian
I get to Molly’s at exactly six and there are already people in the garden drinking and having a laugh. Molly is in the kitchen filling a tall glass with ice and cider. She’s wearing tiny shorts and a cropped T-shirt and I feel overdressed and a bit hot and cross.
‘Bitch!’ she says, passing me the cider. ‘Did you hear me open the bottle?’ She grabs me in a sloppy, damp hug and I almost spill it. She pushes me away, holding on to my shoulders, and I realise from the way she’s swaying that she must have already had a few, even though it’s still early.
‘Are Serena and Sasha here?’ I ask her, taking a gulp and trying not to hiccough or burp or be angry at her for already being so drunk.
‘Yep,’ says Molly, in a sing-song voice. ‘Sash brought a couple o’ crates and a couple o’ mates. Let’s go kiss some boys.’
I have no intention of kissing anyone but I follow her out anyway, lifting my hair away from my neck where I’ve already started to sweat.
Serena is in the garden on the swing chair staring longingly at Matthew Grey, who is here with his brother, Ben, who is one of Sasha’s friends. I don’t mind living here after everything went wrong in London, but everyone knows everyone and sometimes a girl just wants a secret or two or seven. Molly walks up to Serena and dumps a cold bottle on her lap, making her shriek as it hits her bare legs. Matthew and Ben both look over briefly with matching Grey grins but I notice that it’s not Serena that Matt’s eyes linger on, but Molly. I also notice that she’s fully aware of this and she looks straight back at him with her own smile, and I’m worried. Serena has been ‘in love’ with Matt for years and years and she is convinced something is going to happen between them soon. Her constant wittering about how great he is makes me feel sick. They’ve been sitting next to each other in English this year and passing stupid notes, and while I think he probably does like her, there’s no way he would go there if Molly shows any interest, and I don’t like the way she’s looking at him. This is trouble, and I don’t like trouble.
Serena puts her drink down and tells us she’s going to the loo. I think she’s probably going to go and put more make-up on now that Matt is here within her reach. Her lip gloss is already an inch thick. As she leaves, Molly begins to twist up her hair, tilting one hip.
‘It’s too hot,’ she pouts at me, her top riding up to show even more of her smooth brown belly as she pulls her hair into a messy bun on top of her head. She’s still looking at Matt over my shoulder, and I don’t have to turn around to know that his eyes are fixed on her slim body as she does her little performance.
‘What are you doing?’ I hiss at her.
‘What?’ she says, looking at me now, ‘What’s that supposed to mean, what am I doing?’ Her eyes aren’t properly focusing on my face: they drift from one side to the other. This is very strange behaviour – Molly doesn’t do things like this. She is supposed to be a nice person. I am not impressed, and I think she has had way too much to drink.
‘You’re flirting with Matt, and you know Serena likes him! I thought you liked Newboy?’
The look she gives me makes me twist inside.
‘Ha,’ she says. ‘Well, I don’t see Serena’s name written on him anywhere, and it’s every girl for themselves, isn’t it? You should know, Vivian.’ She sneers my name at me and then pushes past me to go and seat herself between Matt and his brother.
I wonder what she means but then I see Serena come bounding out of the house with a smile, only to stop dead as she sees Molly sitting next to Matthew, one achingly long leg now slung over his. Serena would never have the balls to do that so I run over and hustle her back into the house before she freaks out and embarrasses everyone.
‘I don’t know what she’s up to. You know it doesn’t mean anything, Serena. She’s just mucking about,’ I gabble, but it’s no use because Serena’s amber eyes are filling with tears. This is why I’m not interested in boys. Fancying people makes you too vulnerable to being an idiot about it and humiliating yourself. I would never give anyone control over me like that, unlike my foolish mother. Love makes you weak.
‘She could have anyone! Why is she making Matt fall in love with her? Everyone knows how much I like him!’ Serena is staring out of the window at them and, despite my irritation, I’m finding it really hard not to laugh at the tragic look on her face.
Everyone knows her feelings except Matt, it would appear. He looks shell-shocked
