Their fingers touched. Billi couldn’t move her hand without it feeling like... rejection? Why not? What was it about Erin? When she raised her gaze, Erin was looking deeply at her, smiling softly. “You have the darkest eyes, Billi.”
“They’re the windows of the soul, I don’t want anyone peering in.”
Erin frowned. The little creases dipped down to a delicate ‘V’ at the bridge of her nose. There was a small hole in her right nostril for a missing stud.
Erin’s fingers moved up her hand and Billi felt her heart accelerate. Erin tilted closer. “What are you afraid of?”
“I’m not afraid.”
“Good.” Erin sighed, caressing Billi’s own lips with her warm breath. Erin wrapped her fingers around Billi’s wrist and gently drew her toward her. “Do you want to try?”
Billi held her breath, trapped between a ‘yes’ and ‘no’.
“You’re not alone, Billi.”
That was a whisper to her soul. Billi closed her eyes and Erin pressed her lips to hers. Their lips were ever so slightly parted and life passed between them, soft, warm, and strangely innocent. Billi tingled, acutely sensitive to each subtle, feather-soft touch, the light stickiness between Erin’s lipstick and hers, how Erin’s eyelashes fluttered against her skin, the strength of her slim fingers gripping her wrist.
The bathroom door handle turned. The hinges squeaked and Billi broke free.
Faustus stood at the door, blood all washed away. He looked at them both, silent, and knowing. “Did I interrupt something?”
Billi licked her lips. The taste of Erin lingered on her tongue. “Feeling better?”
“Not as good as you, it seems,” he said as he slipped his arms through his jacket sleeves. “I think the party’s over, for me, anyway.”
Billi stood up abruptly. “I’d better make sure you get home. You never know with concussion. Charlie did punch your face pretty hard.”
He waved dismissively. “Nooo. I’ll manage.”
And with that he was out of the door.
Erin laughed softly. “Now, where were we?”
Billi felt the flush on her cheeks and reached for the door handle herself. “I really need to keep an eye on him. And Ivan’ll be wondering where I am.”
“Sure. You need to make the most of the time you have left.”
Billi turned sharply. “What does that mean?”
Erin was up, adjusting her dress. “Before he moves back to Russia, of course.”
Billi stared at her. “Moves back? He told you that?”
“Not personally, but everyone in the Firebird’s been talking about it. The triumphant return of the tsarevich. Everyone knows he’s not happy in London.”
Not everyone.
“I need to go,” said Billi.
***
Billi caught up with Faustus at the front of the house, grabbed his arm and spun him around to face her. “So what was that about being quits?”
“I found I have a gap in my diary. Did you try those éclairs? I don’t think they were vegan but all the better for it.”
“What are you up to, Faustus?”
“I could ask the same of you. Shame on you, Billi. Though I admire your taste.”
“Nothing happened. It was a mistake. Whatever.”
“If you say so, and none of my business.” Faustus reached into his jacket pocket and held out a small plastic pot of pills. “Found them in her medicine cabinet along with an extensive collection of sleeping pills.”
“Trazodone? What’s that?”
“Anti-depressant, and she’s on a pretty high dose. Your girlfriend’s in a dark place.” He didn’t sound cocky for once, he sounded concerned. “Side effects include feelings of suicide.”
“Bloody hell. Given her family history, what’s she doing with this?”
Faustus shook his head. “You get given things like this when the doctors run out of options, when they don’t know what’s wrong but have to give you something. I’ve had some… personal experience on this, believe me.”
She did. All psychics struggled with their gift, especially when they were young. More than a few thought they were going insane. With Faustus’s talent, if that was the right word for it, at seeing and dealing with ghosts and the like, he must have had it worse than most. What must he have seen, before he realised his true nature?
“Billi!”
Oh great. Ivan and Faustus.
Ivan turned off the phone as soon as he saw her. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” He cast a cold glance at Faustus. “Didn’t know you were invited.”
Faustus smiled, then bent down and pecked Billi on the cheek. “It’s been short but very sweet.”
They watched him go. Billi didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know what to feel. Betrayed? Yeah, a lot of that. Angry. Ditto. Relieved?
What is it about relationships? All we want is to be close and yet the barriers still come up. We just cannot share what really matters.
“So when were you gonna tell me you were heading back to Russia?”
He didn’t deny it, there was that at least. He looked at her and there was pain in there. “There’s trouble back home.”
Home. That’s what he still called it. Three years here in London, with her, and yet he’d never settled. How could he? He was a Romanov.
He wants my permission to leave. He’ll do what I ask him. If I tell him to stay, he will, even though it’ll rip his heart in two.
Then he pierced her with his grey eyes. “Come with me, Billi. We could have a home in Moscow, you and me. You’ll learn Russian. I’ll get the best teachers and you know the only way to learn a language is to live it. Come on, a box at the Bolshoi. We’d have summers in St. Petersburg,” he said excitedly. “I’ve still a palace up there. Nothing big, just forty rooms, but it’s right on the river. You can ice-skate on it during the winters. There is no city more beautiful, Billi. It would suit you. Us. It’ll suit us.”
He yearned for it. The longer he stayed away, the more powerful the yearning became. He loved her, but he loved Mother Russia more and the old girl wanted him back. She’d released him for
