“Wright sister, style,” I kissed her forehead and gave her a squeeze.
Keylisa squeezed me back before letting go of my waist. “Always.”
“I’m sorry I dragged you into the middle of all this and interrupted our modeling time.” JeShaun said. “Once this is over, I’ll be sure to make it up to you. Maybe you can come with me to tour my school. We can make it a family trip so you know where I’ll be when I’m at college.”
Keylisa hopped up and down. “Really?”
“Really.”
Keylisa ran to give me another quick squeeze. “I forgive you. We all make mistakes.”
I felt like a fool. All this time I’d been wrong about why Keylisa beamed during the modeling sessions. My little sister looked up to me. Looked up to me so much she liked hanging out with me to take pictures of our hair. Memories of laughing, giggling, and listening to Aunt Tanya tell stories about her and our Mom flooded my mind. Refusing to do the new campaign took those moments away from Keylisa.
Much as I wished she knew our mom, I missed out on how Aunt Tanya and I helped her know her every day. I’d been so focused on moving on to college to help support Keylisa, I overlooked how much being together meant to her. She’d been getting to know our mom the entire time. Keylisa enjoyed being a hair model because we did it together, as a family. I’d been working so hard trying to be a good example for Keylisa to look up to when I graduated from high school I missed an important lesson. Most little sisters want to grow up to be like their big sisters, but today I kinda want to be more like K.
I flopped down on Breyonna’s bed. The smell of fresh vanilla and jasmine rose from the comforter and pillows. “Did I send you the link to that stretched hair video?”
“No,” Breyonna draped her legs over the side of the oversized chair in the corner next to her bookcase.
The blood drained from my face. “We have to find that video.”
“Okay. Don’t get your volleyball shorts in a bunch.” Breyonna pulled her tablet from her backpack. “We’ll find it. Did you see what your boy was wearing at lunch today?”
I tsked. “What boy?”
“Oh, you gonna pretend like we not looking for this stretch video to impress your wish-boo?” Breyonna’s eyebrow raised.
My head dropped. Not this crap again. I’d moved beyond wanting to fix my hair for some boy who didn’t like me because I don’t wear my hair straight. Right? “Did you find the video? I remember it said something about non heat stretching or something.”
“Oh, okay. We’re switching topics. Works for me.” Breyonna focused on the iPad. “I’m so not ready for these crazy mid semester tests. Also not looking forward to the pre Winter formal madness.”
I nodded. Breyonna’s pillow shifted as I pulled my phone from my pocket. “You have a date yet?”
“No, and not sure if I even want to go since we have to do all of this craziness again for prom.” Breyonna sighed. She flipped her tablet around to show me the covers for a list of videos.
None of the videos looked familiar. “No, I think the person was doing a child’s and a teen’s hair. She had a picture and not a logo.”
“Right, because YouTubers don’t change their profile avatar.” Breyonna stuck her tongue out. “I went dress shopping for the formal with my Dad. He and I have been having a lot more fun since you started all of this.”
I rested my phone on the bed next to me. “Started all of what?”
“I didn’t say anything because I know you get a little weird around the anniversary of your Mom’s death. But you went off all the rails this year, JeShaun.” Breyonna closed her eyes. She took a deep breath.
I sat up on the bed. “No, I don’t.”
“Yeah. You do.” Breyonna sighed. “I don’t say anything because we’re besties. Can’t even imagine how it feels because my Mom is my everything.”
I swayed from side to side. The wheels in my mind began turning. “What happened last year?”
“You wanted to get the tattoos of you and her from that guy you heard does underage tats for a $200 tip.” Breyonna shook her head.
I dropped my head. Regret filled every fiber of my body. A pile of rocks settled in the bottom of my stomach. “So you’re saying what?”
“I’m saying you popped off on your Aunt Tanya, who adores you, cause you were upset.” Breyonna turned her tablet around.
I shook my head. “Popped off?”
“Girl, real talk. My mom said she’d be paying for a new set of teeth for me if I ever talked to her the way you came at Aunt Tanya on IG.” Breyonna wiggled her fingers. “Or a hand cast in your case. Because, JeShaun… You. Went. Off. On her company’s Instagram post.”
Bile began sifting the rocks around in my belly.
“Go read the post and pretend its someone else talking to the person responsible for taking care of them.” Breyonna said. “Then be honest with yourself. You popped all the way off.”
I picked my phone up. Horror, dread, and guilt pushed the regret out of every inch of my body. No wonder Aunt Tanya had a hard time holding a conversation with me. I’d spank my own behind if I were her. The memory of telling her to have her own children. Regret filled me alongside the other feelings weighing me down. “Dude. I.”
“Yeah, you’re lucky to be alive.” Breyonna chuckled. She motioned for me to scoot over. She handed me the tablet.
I recognized the picture for the video I watched.
Breyonna placed her arm around my shoulder. We watched the video while I cried.
Tears for my mom. I know what it feels like
