It felt as though that was lost to them now, all of the innocence of childhood gone in one ill-conceived night.
“That… creature we summoned,” Etienne started haltingly. “You saw what it did to me— my chest burnt down into the muscle with just a few seconds of contact… she—she touched you too, Alphonse. Maybe the damage was less physical, but she could have hurt you in some way we don’t understand.” Finally, he met her eyes, speaking more quickly now as if to lessen the horrible nature of those words. “I’ll see if I can learn anything more from the book, and even if I can’t, I will find out what’s going on, Alphonse. You know I will. We can reverse this you and I. And we’ll convince the masters somehow too. It's you and me, always.”
If the creature had tainted her mind. Made Alphonse’s thoughts not her own… Oughtn’t she go see one of the master healers? Surely they would be able to tell if something was wrong within?
Amber eyes flickered over Etienne’s face, the guilt and remorse there. The carefully controlled features were determined to reassure her and keep her from feeling alone and frightened, as she already did.
If she saw a master healer, they would want to know why her mind was injured so. How.
And inevitably, it would come back to Etienne and his ancient journal and quest for knowledge, casting rituals forbidden and barbarous…
He’d be thrown out from Moxous, possibly from Ingola. Their country was strict on magic and harsh on those who studied but did not fall in line. It was dangerous, and Ingola did not want its people to suffer.
With good reason, these rules and laws had been set in place…
She was paying the price now.
But Etienne was a scholar and a sorcerer. His masters had hardly discouraged his restless mind from seeking out answers; rarely did they punish him for going beyond the bounds of reasonable curiosity.
No.
In fact, they had rewarded his behavior time and time again. Accolades, public announcements of his various accomplishments, knowing smiles as he argued and debated and pushed and pushed and pushed.
Because they saw greatness in him and knew that greatness needed extra rein to run.
If he was expelled and outcast— Alphonse could never do that to him. And even if the healers could discern what was wrong with her, it seemed unlikely they would know how to heal the injury to her psyche induced by some strange, terrible creature summoned by blood magic.
Etienne was her best chance and her best friend. She’d not get him in trouble just for her own sake.
Alphonse squeezed his hands back in agreement. He would find the answers and a cure. If there was a cure.
And if there wasn’t, then she shouldn’t be a healer anyway… It would be dangerous and irresponsible. To lose track of time while tending to an injury. To have sudden, nearly uncontrollable impulses to behave oddly and disobediently…
No. Her duty as a healer had always been to restore health and body. Not harm more people with her incompetence and strangeness.
“I am so tired. Do you think I could rest here for a while?” She knew he’d start reading right away. She might as well keep him company while he did that. And in truth… Alphonse didn’t trust herself alone. Not now.
Etienne nodded and stood, vacating the bed so that she could take it at her leisure. “I think that’s a good idea. You can sleep in my bunk.”
He kneeled down beside his trunk once more and collected the book from it, then, with an almost frantic determination, Etienne seated himself at the small desk to work. Still, she did not move to take his bed, hesitation gripping her tightly. Despite all that had happened, the Doctrines still held priority in her mind.
Not many in Dailion were as traditionalist as Alphonse, but she’d been raised on a farm by parents who adhered to Mother Agathi Doctrines. Mother Agathi was a minor Goddess of fertility, serenity, and harmony. She was a patron to many farmers and herdsmen, people who lived off the bounty of the land. Mother Agathi intoned that clean, humble, and virtuous followers would live happy, good lives. Vanity and calling attention to oneself were not encouraged. Letting a boy see her without her veil was frowned upon. Sleeping in his bed...
Many girls would laugh that such a notion would worry Alphonse, but her worthiness was all that Alphonse had left. If she was getting kicked out of Moxous or being held back a year, if she was going insane, then her status as mage and healer was in question. Could she afford to cast aside her integrity now?
While Alphonse had lived in Moxous far longer than she had lived on the farm with her parents, those lessons still stuck. She did have friends, many friends, who did not adhere to such things, but Alphonse hadn’t felt the urge to explore more… impulsive routes.
But Etienne was a brother, her best friend, and his behavior and virtue unquestionable. One nap in his room would not be the end of her. Besides, Alphonse was afraid of what she might do on her own… She needed Etienne to keep an eye on her.
With a sigh, Alphonse carefully took the veil off of her head, folded it neatly, and placed it on Etienne’s desk. It was a symbol of her maidenhood and devotion to a proper, clean life, and it should be treated as such.
✶
While Alphonse curled up, Etienne turned his attention to the book. It looked so innocent: simple brown cover, yellow pages, tidy script. He had studied hundreds like it, though perhaps none quite so old.
And yet within those bindings, lay terror.
He shuddered, stooped by the responsibility he had taken on. He must save
