“Thank you for contacting me. I’ve wanted to see you both for so long, but my parents gave me the messages you sent to stay away. I’ve tried to respect your wishes, because I had no right to ask for anything of you. If there’s anything I can do to help you, anything at all, I’ll gladly step up.”
She shakes her head. “No, there’s nothing I need you to do. Rod and Daisy have me well taken care of, as usual. The reason I asked you to come is because I needed to tell you in person that I forgive you. In case this doesn’t work, I needed you to hear it from me.
“Cancer is scary. There are so many unknowns and what-ifs, so many questions without clear answers and paths without obvious direction. I understand how overwhelming and difficult it is to face. I’ve spent a lot of years being mad at you, and at myself, but I don’t want that negativity around me anymore. I’m letting go of those memories and all the sadness they bring with them. I wish you all the best, and I hope you’re able to find peace in yourself.”
“You’ve had to face the things nightmares are made of, and you’ve done it with grace and strength. I’m sorry I left you, and if I could change it, I would. If I could trade places with you today, I’d do it without a second thought. But I have no excuse and no reason to give you that could explain why I walked out and didn’t come back. Nothing I say would suffice, and I’m more than aware of this, so I won’t insult your intelligence by trying. All I can do is prove myself going forward, if you’ll let me.”
He’s sincere in his request, that much is true. No one is that good of an actor. But it doesn’t mean I’ll trust him again in this lifetime.
“This is my daughter, Isabelle. Rod has custody of her while I’m undergoing treatment. Once I’ve recovered, we’ll rescind it, but it’s best for her right now. Rod’s wife, Daisy, is a teacher and has been a godsend. My sweet little girl has had her life turned upside down this year, but she’s been a trooper.” Juliana fingers Isa’s hair, love infused in her every touch.
Chris squats eye to eye with Isa. “Hello, there, beautiful. I’m your grandfather. I’ve wanted to meet you for a long time.”
Isa steps behind my leg and peeks around the side at him, unsure of this stranger’s intentions. “Sometimes it takes her a little while to warm up to people she doesn’t know.”
“I understand. I’m just happy to have finally met you, Isabelle.” He stands and shuffles from side to side. “As I understand it, you’re being admitted for quite a while. Is that right?”
“Yes.” Jules is polite but not overly warm. I can tell from her rigid stance seeing him is harder than she thought it would be.
“If you get bored and need someone to talk to, you can always call me. I’d love to hear from you and know how you’re doing. I’m sure you want time to talk to your brother, so I’ll get out of your way. Thank you for contacting me and letting me be here today. You’ll be in my thoughts every minute of every day, just like always.” He stops long enough to kiss the side of her head, then moves away quickly toward the elevators.
When he’s gone, she turns to me. “Thank you for not beating him up on sight. I know this encounter wasn’t easy for you, but it was important to me. You didn’t introduce Daisy and Landen to him or say anything about your bundles of joy.”
“No, it wasn’t easy seeing him again, but my attention is all for you at the moment. As far as introducing him to the rest of my family, he hasn’t earned that privilege. He came here for you, not for me. But if you needed that peace of mind before undergoing this treatment, I understand and support you. Whatever you need to pull through this is not too much to ask.”
She throws her arms around me and buries her face in my neck, hiding her tears from the kids. She’s terrified of what she has to do now, but the alternative isn’t any better. If I could pass my strength to her through how tightly I’m holding her now, she’d be out of the hospital by this afternoon.
“This is only goodbye for today. I’ll be back every day to see you. I won’t get to hug you for a while, but you’ll never go through this alone. I’m a phone call away when I’m not here. You have me in your corner for life, little bird.” I try to reassure her the best I can.
She dries her eyes before kneeling to gather Isa in her arms. She spends several minutes talking to her daughter, quietly so no one can hear or interfere. Those two peas in a pod enjoy their bonding time without acknowledging anyone else is in the world.
When she stands, she says her goodbyes to Daisy and Landen. They also both promise to visit and keep her company. Then she tells the nurse she’s ready for her torture treatment and disappears into the room, the door closing behind her.
We linger in the hall for a minute, as if we’re all waiting for Jules to change her mind and come rushing back to leave with us. Then we slowly make our way back home, minus one vital member of our crew. For now, anyway.
All of us merely have to make it through the next two weeks with as few surprises, setbacks, or emergencies as possible. My sister has to survive a regimen designed to bring her to death’s door. My very pregnant wife has to avoid pre-term labor, so my
