If Juliana, Daisy, and Isa can do it, I sure as hell can too.
Every day for the past week, I’ve visited Juliana in the morning and the evening. She’s going through hell itself, so some visits were merely to sit outside her window and offer my presence as she rested, too weak and listless to talk. Every visit, I’ve watched her grow sicker and weaker, though the doctors and nurses assure me it’s normal.
“Rod, you should be home with your wife. She’s very pregnant.” Juliana’s weak voice on the intercom gets my attention.
“Tracy and Kevin are there with her when I’m here with you. I’ve got all my ladies well taken care of, don’t you worry.”
She doesn’t have the strength to give me a full smile. “Rod, if I don’t survive this, I want you to know how very much I love you. You’re the only man I’ve always been able to count on, no matter what I needed. I want you to be happy and spoil those kids for me.”
“You’ll spoil them yourself. Come on, little bird. Don’t talk like that. You’re halfway through the worst of it. You can hang on for one more week.”
“I’m not so sure anymore. Every day gets harder than the last.”
“Don’t you dare give up now. I’m sorry this is so bad. I’m sorry I can’t trade places with you. I’m sorry I couldn’t heal you by my sheer will. But I will never let you go, Jules, so don’t give up the fight. You hold on. Please, little sis, don’t give up.”
“I’m not, but I can feel my body failing. I couldn’t say goodbye to you when we arrived here because I knew it would be too hard. But I needed to tell you, and you needed to hear the words, just in case. Now go home and let me rest. Go be with your wife. I love you.”
She closes her eyes and drifts off to sleep. I watch her vital signs on the machine above her head. Her pulse slows and her heartbeat falls into an even rhythm. Those few words she said to me wiped out any energy she had stored. Now I don’t want to leave because I’m afraid she tried to send me away so she can sleep forever without me being here to witness her last breath.
I drive home in a daze, then lose myself in Daisy. My worries, grief, and helplessness only leave me when I focus my attention on her. She’s the shining star in these pitch-black days, leading me home to her. She knows what I need before I do. She knows how to calm the storms raging inside me with a simple touch of her hand. She can also stoke the flames of my desire with a single look.
One more week. That’s all we need.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Daisy
“Rod? Are you okay?” I stand outside the bedroom door, giving him a little privacy and space to process his feelings alone. Our little family has been through a lot lately, and the changes take time to accept.
“I’ll be all right. Just give me a minute, okay?”
“Sure, my love. If I can do anything to help, you’ll let me know. Right?” I lean against the door, desperate to console him but understand his need to be alone with his thoughts.
“Yes, babe. I don’t want you to see me like this. I can’t seem to catch my breath. I’ll be out as soon as I can.”
Without pushing him further, I turn and walk downstairs. Tracy and Kevin picked up the kids last night to entertain them while Rod and I work through the hard part together. I’m glad they’re not here to see this today, but the house is eerily quiet without them.
Louise made enough meals to cover us for a few days before she left. She always takes such good care of our family, and her cooking is divine. Though I’m not very hungry, I know I should eat to feed the babies before they steal every last ounce of energy I have left. With my full plate in hand, I sit at the table and begin eating. When I’ve devoured half my plate, a small feat for someone who wasn’t hungry, Rod walks into the kitchen.
He’s not quite as white as a ghost now. Hopefully, he’s settled down a little more than earlier.
“What are you doing? You’re not supposed to eat anything yet.” His mouth hangs open and his eyes judge me based on what’s missing from my plate.
“I have to eat now. They won’t let me have anything once I get to the hospital. Delivering twins takes a lot of energy, you know.” That’s a rhetorical statement. There’s no way he has a clue. But the pallor of his skin pales a little more before my eyes.
“Daisy—” He starts to use his “dad” voice on me.
“Rod.” I counter with my “mom” voice. “The doctor said a vaginal birth is safe and recommended for me. They’re both turned and ready to be born. I’ll be awake the entire time, so I’m perfectly safe. I’m not going in the hospital on an empty stomach.”
I finish off my plate and put it in the dishwasher, ignoring his disbelieving glare the whole time.
“Ready to go to the hospital now? You’re going to be a father today, and Juliana is having a transplant. We need to get moving.”
His skin flashes full white again. Here comes another panic attack, though he denies that’s what’s happening. “Maybe I need to eat too. My blood sugar is low or something.”
“Or something is right. You’re freaking out. Calm down—we’ve got this. When it’s over, you’ll wonder what you ever worried about. It’s time to meet your daughter and your son.”
He inhales a long, deep breath and releases
