I smile thinking about the bittersweet memories. Fin was right, our new fort was a hundred times better than the first one. I just wish he had been right about us always being best friends. We were inseparable until seventh grade, and though we no longer played pirates, the fort was still our special place. The first Saturday after the start of our seventh-grade year we were in the fort playing with my new holographic gaming watch. One minute we were laughing at the avatars we created for each other and then suddenly Fin was staring at me with a look that was somewhere between troubled and wistful. “What’s wrong?”
He looked down for a second, shook his head then looked back at me. “Nothing…it’s just that, I… I want to try something, but you’re the most important person in the world to me, and I don’t want to mess anything up.”
I giggled for a second before I said “God, Fin what do you want, to kiss me or something?” I saw his face turn bright red before he tucked his chin and muttered “Never mind, it was stupid anyway.” In that moment I realized a kiss was exactly what Fin had wanted. My face turned red.
With shame I realized I had just hurt my best friend with my stupid, unthinking words. In a moment of panic, I grabbed both sides of his face and lifted his chin then planted my lips on his. I don’t know how long we stayed like that. Long enough for me to know his lips were soft and warm and just a little wet. His hands came to my shoulders and he gently eased away. For a second, he had a goofy grin on his face, then, he cleared his throat and said, “You didn’t have to do that.” I looked into his bright green eyes and said earnestly. “I know, but I wanted to. Fin, nothing is ever going to mess us up. You’re my best friend and I care more about you than I ever could about some stupid boyfriend.”
Fin shrugged and gave me a lopsided grin. “Can’t I be your best friend that you care about and your stupid boyfriend who gets to kiss you?”
I laughed and smiled into the familiar face that I loved. “I suppose you can, but I would prefer you manage to be my boyfriend without being stupid.” We laughed and he leaned in and pressed his lips to mine. It was nothing more than a soft, innocent brush of his lips. But for one breathtakingly sweet moment all was right in our little world. He lifted his lips, then pressed his forehead to mine and made his childhood vow to me. “I will always protect you Haven, no matter what, I won’t let anyone hurt you.” In that moment I believed him completely. Little did I know it would be the last time anything was right between us. Fin said he couldn’t come to dinner that night, because his dad needed his help at with some plumbing work on their trailer. So, we both left the fort in opposite directions towards our respective homes. I smiled as I walked, happy with the way things had turned out. It’s not, that I hadn’t ever thought of Fin as a potential boyfriend. It’s just that I always thought of him as so much more. Though, the kisses were a nice perk of having a boyfriend. It was comforting and sweet, and it made me feel grown up and pretty. To this day I still don’t understand how it all went so wrong.
Fin hadn’t come over to my house or been at school for two days, so I decided to hike to his trailer to check on him. I had never been there before, but I knew about where it was. I figured he had the stomach flu that was going around school. In all the years we were friends, I never met Fin’s dad. But I had the feeling he wasn’t the kind of dad who made chicken noodle soup when his kid was sick. So, I thought I would bring a thermos of soup over, to make him feel better. It seemed like a very girlfriend thing to do. When I got there, Fin was outside working in a small vegetable garden near the trailer. When he looked up, I gasped at sight of his face, and dropped the thermos to the ground. His right eye was purple, his lower lip was split and swollen and when I looked down, I noticed his forearms were covered in bruises. Tears immediately began to roll down my face as I ran to Fin.
“My God… Fin what happened?”
A storm of emotions flashed across his face so quickly I couldn’t pick any one out for sure. Anger, embarrassment, shame… I couldn’t really tell. Then I heard an angry voice bellow,
“Fin, get your ass in here and find the damn remote.” And it was definitely fear I saw in his eyes at that moment. He grabbed my hand and hurried me back to the trail.
“You have to leave now!”
I started to shake my head and dug my heals into the soft earth to pull to a stop, but he looked completely panicked.
“Please you gotta to go. You’ll just make it worse.”
“But…but I’m worried about you.” My voice trembled as I asked,
