"It's okay." I whisper, still feeling awkward and not knowing what the fuck to say.
"Can I kiss you?"
That's new, no one has ever asked my permission before. "Yes."
He tips my head back and then his lips are on mine, soft and warm. It quickly becomes aggressive and it's like with just a simple taste, we can't control ourselves. I end up pushed against the wall, lifted in his arms, and our teeth drawing blood.
Vicious in our attacks, we don't notice our surroundings until it's too late.
"Don't mind me." Saxon purrs as he walks by, causing Neil to nearly drop me. "Just getting a drink. Make sure you disinfect that wall and the kitchen table when you're done."
Oh fuck.
I can't help it, I look into Neil's stricken face, and burst out laughing.
"It's not funny." He hisses at me, "your brother saw us last night."
"I doubt he saw anything, more like heard it." I shrug, not bothered in the slightest.
Saxon walks back by us and heads up the stairs, "Neil, your hatred has manifested in weird ways. I like it." And then he disappears.
I burst out laughing again and then Neil is joining in.
"I needed that." He shakes his head.
"You said you needed someone to talk to?" I lead him to the family room and sit on a couch opposite from him. More space the better.
"We had an intervention for Dad earlier."
"Rodney?" I gasp. "What's wrong?"
"He's always enjoyed his booze but lately it's spiraled out of control. He's becoming an angry drunk and I worry about the girls in that house with him."
"What are you going to do about it?"
"He's leaving for a rehab facility tonight and I couldn't stay there to see him go. He's pretty pissed at me right now." He bows his head and I feel his pain. It's hard to disappoint your parents.
"You did the right thing." I whisper and I see him nod.
"I'll be staying here a while." His words light up my chest and give me anxiety at the same time. "I will defer this semester so I can help with Shay and Amelia. I need a job though, any chance your Dad is hiring?"
"You'd want to work with my family?" I look at him with my brow raised.
"I need a job."
"I'll ask him." I nod.
Neil is moving here, to Whitsborough and even though I'm excited, I'm also fucking scared. What are we even doing? Does he still hate me? Why wouldn't he?
"I should get back." He stands and I stand with him.
"Okay."
I follow him to the door and watch as he bends to put his boots on, his jacket pulling up and I see the muscles at the bottom of his back. He's also tattooed back there. He opens the front door and steps out on the porch, the frigid air sweeps around my face.
"Come for a drive." He turns quickly, shocking me.
"A drive?" My heart drums out a quick staccato in my chest. It feels a little like Deja vu.
"Yeah." He raises a brow.
Suddenly, his face falls, finally understanding my hesitation, or maybe not so much understanding it as he's realizing it.
"You know what?" I stuff my feet in my boots and grab my jacket off the hook. "I'll come."
"Cool." He smiles even though it's slightly strained.
I follow him out to the car and hop in the passenger seat, pulling out my phone to text Saxon. As soon as we pull out of the driveway, I close the gates behind us, and he heads in the direction of the wharf.
We're quiet and it's not uncomfortable silence but it's not comfortable either. Somewhere in the middle which perfectly sums us up, too.
He parks in front of the wharf and we both sit back in our seats, watching the slightly frozen water. I remember Charlotte daring me to run on the ice when we were younger and thinking about her once again brings back the doubts. How can he stand to be in this car with me? After everything I've done?
"You look like you're in pain." He murmurs and I snap out of my thoughts.
"I'm okay." I shake my head, not wanting to upset him, especially since he's behind the wheel.
Fuck, I should've offered to drive.
He reaches over and tucks an unruly wave behind my ear, slowly skimming his fingers down my neck. I can feel my skin break out with goosebumps and I shiver. He chuckles, leaning in slowly to replace his fingers with his lips.
I tip my head to the side, giving him better access and moan when I feel his tongue glide along the column of my neck. He nips my earlobe and then kisses my cheek. I turn my head to the side and brush my lips against his. There's a single moment when neither of us know what we should do next, we stare at each other, we breathe the same air, and we just feel.
That moment is fleeting because the very next moment we are ramming our tongues down each other's throats and ripping our jackets off. I'm pulling off my leggings and crawling over the console just as he pops his seat back. It's like we feel the impending doom but can't do a single thing to stop the destruction, we just have to ride it out.
You better believe I am riding the fuck out of it.
I slip my hands up under his shirt and he rips mine off and over my head, groaning when he sees I'm not wearing a bra... again. I fucking hate them and they always catch on my piercing. Neil leans forward and bites my pierced nipple, making me cry out as he pinches the other. It's rough and I wouldn't want it any other way.
He pushes me away and begins to undo his jeans, growling when it takes him a few tries. I can already
