But not enough to dry my tears or even out my breaths.
What if I stayed and didn’t accept Brenin? But I didn’t want to think about returning to my solemn days, mourning over Mother and wondering what life would be like if she were still alive.
Brenin made me forget the pain.
He made me forget a lot of things, like how to focus. How to speak rationally.
I was still kicking myself for being so bold with him.
In spite of the happy prospects, I couldn’t deny my darkest fear, which cast a shadow over the hopes this proposal promised.
The circumstances pertaining to Mother’s death were cloudy. I still didn’t know the truth, yet I felt it was somehow my fault.
It was, and you know it.
Father assured me it was a terrible accident. It had to have been an accident. Tad loved me, but his love couldn’t erase the helplessness I felt.
Anguish swallowed me, and my body betrayed my emotions as I thought of that night, trembling as if the danger were upon me again. But the memory was scrambled, shrouding those final precious moments with Mother.
She had been taken away from me when I needed her the most. I feared I could have saved her.
If only I could remember. Why can’t I remember? The sorrow grew too much. My tears flowed freely in a cathartic release, easing my inner confusion.
This proposal changed everything. It promised hope and a beginning, one I would never forget because of tragedy.
My mind was almost made up as my body relaxed.
The last image I saw as I drifted to sleep was a bright flame reflected in scarlet, catlike eyes. The fire sparked, and above the crackle, the voice spoke.
Courage, Ahnalyn, have courage.
AHNALYN
I leaned against the doorframe of my tired, dusty cottage, watching horses approach from the distance. Lord Brenin had been so sure I’d accept his proposal that, true to his word, an escort arrived three days after our meeting. He must have sent the men the day he’d arrived home. They would have had to ride the entire day and camp nearby, only to rise early to be here at first light.
Fate had a funny way of shaping one’s life. Why had Brenin chosen my pasture and my creek that day?
He had appeared harmless enough when we’d met, except he startled me with his sudden appearance at the creekside. We developed a friendship over the following weeks. Brenin shared what running a kingdom was like since his father’s death. I took solace in the knowledge that we had that in common at such a young age—the death of a parent.
I didn’t have much to share with Brenin, and he didn’t seem to mind, so we sat in the meadow, with my sheep, and laughed together as two old friends would.
When had he thought of this idea to marry me? I should have foreseen a proposal. What man would devote so much time to a young lady without some other intention?
I blushed. I was beyond naïve.
From our afternoons together, I knew Brenin was a confident man, though not overly sure. He loved to laugh and enjoyed a simple life. His eyes expressed passion, and his untamable curls fell at his cheekbones, hinting at a wildly free spirit. When Brenin grinned, the creases around his mouth tried hard to be dimples but failed.
I groaned. He was so handsome. So desirable.
So goofy, but I liked that about him.
I could be happy with him. In the light of this new day, I could fall in love with Brenin. The thought made my stomach flutter.
Love would come.
Spewing a cloud of dust in its wake, the escort arrived at my door.
I clutched Father, heedless of the men’s looks. “I love you, Tad.” I savored the feel of his arms around me and hoped we’d meet again soon.
“My dearest Ahnalyn, you are my treasure. I love you.” Father squeezed me tighter and leaned in to me. “If that boy doesn’t make you happy, he’ll have to answer to me.”
I laughed, but I had to swipe a tear away. What would I do without him?
After many quiet tears, I bid Father goodbye. With my weepy disposition, I hoped the men wouldn’t judge me too soon. I mounted a very regal and hugely intimidating horse, praying I’d have the grace to stay on.
I had nothing but the clothes on my back, including the cloak around my shoulders, Father’s knife, and Mother’s necklace. I had no other worldly possessions worth bringing. Not even a dowry. So pathetic.
As I gazed back at my cottage for the last time, I waved at Father. By evening, I’d look upon the Great River and Hyledd.
My heart thudded.
My adventure was beginning.
AHNALYN
I rode with the six men to the capital city of Terrin. The day’s ride was unremarkable, with fair weather and a shining sun. Brenin’s men extended kindness. They gave me food for dinner, engaged me in small talk, and made sure my gallant horse didn’t run away with me. They laughed with each other over matters I didn’t understand, sometimes a quip about someone’s wife or child. One of the younger men, with a clean-shaven, boyish face, was apparently quite fond of a young lady at court and was the brunt of the older men’s jokes. Because of their jovial natures, my spirits lifted as the day wore on.
From the hills in the south, the city of Hyledd could be seen miles before I arrived. I had vague memories of passing this way before, once, when I was
