There are a lot of depressed people walking around High Point, and many of them feel like they will never get out. Some of them never will.
With the overall feeling of helplessness comes a big sense of laziness that I was once a part of. There were no jobs and no motivation to move forward and so I just laid around with my friends and family, waiting for the next thing to happen. You know, “somethin’ to do.”
WhenAmerican Idol happened to me, it was as though ice-cold water was thrown in my face and snapped me out of my haze. Suddenly, there were so many things to do, almost too many things to do and not enough time to do them. As theAmerican Idol experience unfolded for me, it was important to me to take as much of home as I could carry. I was able to take my brother and my girl Aseelah on the road with me. I also tried to reach back by givin’ my friend, J., a drummin’ gig on my tour. J. only lasted a week. After he left the tour, I wondered whether he left because he was scared that he couldn’t keep up with the Los Angeles musicians, who have a lot more experience than him. But the difference between those musicians and J. is that he had the gig, and those L.A. musicians didn’t. When he left, I thought he really gave up on himself. I never gave up on him.
That made me mad and it really hurt me. When a door is opened for you, you have to step up your game. J. went home and no one told me until it was too late. I just hate that it went down like that, but being out here on the road carries a lot of pressure. There are so many things goin’ on at once, and I didn’t have enough time to try to convince him to stay. We had to replace the drummer fast. Music is a fast life, and if you truly hunger for music, like all great musicians do, the fastness is a necessary part of it. You have to dust yourself off and not let fear of messin’ up slow you down. I know it all must have seemed overwhelming to J. I also know that the L.A. musicians were learning songs in only a few hours, and I think J. was scared that he couldn’t do that. He could have done it, I know he could have, with our help.
Anyone with talent and hunger can succeed when given the chance. And even if you do mess up, let the boss fire you—don’t fire yourself! Not when your dream is at stake. Don’t miss out on opportunities, even if they seem scary. I wish I could call him today, but now there is probably bad blood between us. I would say to him, “Believe that you are as good as anyone else. Don’t compare yourself to other people. You are your only competition, and you can do anything that you put your mind to!” I chose J. because I loved him and his drumming and I really wanted him to have an unbelievable chance for his future and a ticket out of High Point. He should have kept it real with me and I would have helped him get what he needed.
Who knows the real reason that J. left, without even telling me to my face? Maybe, like so many of my friends, he wasn’t able to read music. If that’s true, maybe that shame made him feel like he couldn’t do it. That’s just another dream that shame has squashed.
To keep it real hurts. It hurts to uncover so much secrecy and answer so many unanswered questions. To see so many of the people that I grew up with not reaching their dreams is hurtful. If I could do it,anyone can do it! It pains me to see the weight of High Point’s boredom weighing everyone down. I’m sure that there are more towns like High Point tucked away in America where young people are givin’ up on their dreams. If I could do something, I would say, “Help!” I would say that to all folks in the small cities and all the kids feelin’ lost in the big cities in America. I would say that the young people in America need your help. If a young person is being passed through high school just because a teacher doesn’t want to deal with him, those teachers don’t realize that they are ruinin’ a whole life. That decision will affect all the other lives that will touch this young person’s life through the hurt and shame that comes with lack of education. The impact goes on and on and on.
It’s time for everyone to keep it real. If you can’t do something because you don’t know how to do something, you have to speak up. There’s no longer room for bein’ ashamed or keepin’ junk a secret. Like my album says, “Free yourself.”
When I’m keepin’ it real with my fans I have to first say thank you from the bottom of my heart. I love y’all. But I wouldn’t be ’Tasia if I didn’t keep it real with you, too. Those of you who have met me know that I’m always happy to take pictures with y’all, give hugs, sign autographs—anythin’ you want. But the one thing that upsets me is when someone is rude and acts like I have to do these things. I appreciate so much that so many of you voted for me and helped me get
