Thinking of Pen and Walker made me think of Remy and our brief time together. I wished I could see him again and let him know I’d read his letter, and I didn’t blame him. Maybe Pen had a pit stop in Spain, and I could find out where Seas the Day was and surprise Remy as well.
Ryder came up behind Lexie and wrapped his arms around her waist. She melted back into him as they swayed where they stood. “I think you girls should surprise her. I don’t have anything planned, so I can stay here with Delilah.”
Lexie clapped, excitement lighting her eyes. “Let’s find out where we’re going.”
13
Remy
“Do you think you’re ready for this?” my dad asked from the doorway of my childhood room.
Stopping what I was doing, I turned to him. “I think so, and so does my firehouse captain, but as you know, fire is unpredictable.”
“I just got you back and don’t want anything to happen to you,” he said as he sat down on the edge of my bed. “I’m more scared of losing you to fire than I ever was of you going off to war. Or worse yet, what if something happens to one of the people you’re working with and you…”
I watched as my dad’s Adam’s apple bobbed before he looked at me with glassy eyes.
“I can promise you I won’t go MIA on you again. My time with my therapist has shown me there was nothing I could have done to save Damon. All of that therapy doesn’t mean I won’t miss him for the rest of my life. I can still be sad about it, but I know how to better handle what I’m feeling.”
“I just worry about you. Why couldn’t you be an accountant or something where you’re not putting yourself on the line every day?”
I moved to sit down beside him. I hated seeing the fear in my dad’s eyes, but it was in my blood to help people. I wouldn’t feel right if I was doing anything else. That’s how I knew I couldn’t be a bosun for another season. I needed to do what fed my soul, and that meant making another life change.
“Because you taught me that I should always help people in need, and my country needs me. Whether that be overseas fighting for our freedom or saving people and their homes from fire.”
Placing his tanned hand on my knee, my dad gave me a shaky smile. “I guess I did something right raising you on my own.”
Wrapping my arm around his shoulders, I rested my head on his. “You did, and I wouldn’t change one thing about my childhood.”
“When are you leaving?”
“In a couple of hours. One of the guys is going to pick me up and take me to the airport in Fort Lauderdale along with another guy from a different station.”
“Why do these fires keep happening?”
“California has all the right components to make a fire start, and with the winds they’ve been having, they’re hard to contain.”
“And that woman you told me about, she lives out there where the fire’s headed?”
“I think so. I don’t know exactly where she lives, but it’s consuming a large portion of where I think she was supposed to live.”
He nodded as if it all made sense to him. I didn’t think I’d magically find Stella or come in and sweep her off her feet, away from the fire. That wasn’t why I was going to help. I wanted to help, and California just happened to be where there was a fire raging out of control.
Standing, my dad looked down at me. “All I ask is that you be safe and come back to me.”
“I promise I’ll always be as safe as I can and that I’ll come back to you. You can’t get rid of me that easily. Although I might get my own apartment when I get back.”
“You know you can stay here for as long as you want, but I understand you might want your privacy as well.” He waggled his brows at me.
Bringing home a girl was the last thing on my mind. But I wanted something more than four walls that surrounded me. I wanted my own space for once in my life and not just a small room and bathroom that I had to share with someone.
Clapping me on the shoulder, my dad only nodded for a moment. Maybe he finally understood why I had to go to California. “I’ll let you finish packing.”
“It shouldn’t take me too much longer.”
I had very few possessions—something I had done purposely over the years. First being in the military and then living in a room the size of a bathroom while on different boats, it was sad almost everything I owned could fit inside one duffle. Slowly, I’d started to accumulate more things over the last few months, but not much. I’d been too busy with my training, seeing a therapist that was recommended to me from one of the guys in my unit who’d been home for the last year, and spending some much-needed quality time with my dad.
I’d been more engaged in life and happier since I arrived in my hometown than I had been in the last two years, even as I worked through my crippling guilt.
Seeing my dad for the first time had been bittersweet. My parents weren’t young when they had me. My mom was thirty-five, and my dad forty. He’d aged a lot since I’d last seen him almost four years ago, making him look older than his sixty-seven years, and I knew a great deal of it was because of me. He’d been worried sick about me when I didn’t come home for Damon’s funeral and then when I didn’t try to contact him. I’d been the worst son in the world, and I’d been trying to make it up to him any way I could. I knew it would
