‘It hurts so much.’ The tears still stung her eyes and another sob caught in her throat.
Zander’s arm remained round her waist. He swept away the hairs stuck to her damp face. ‘Is what happened to your friend the real reason you wanted to leave the UK?’
‘I was so sad and lonely. I needed to do something. And what could be more positive and life changing than escaping to a tropical island. And then Aaron happened and the bookshop burnt down...’
‘Life is never that easy or straightforward, is it?’
‘It’s certainly not.’
‘I’m sorry about your friend.’
‘And I’m sorry about your friend too. And your sister.’
Zander’s arm around her waist was comforting, not awkward like she imagined it would be. He was her boss and the man Aaron had accused her of having an affair with. But nothing could be further from the truth, even though she and Zander had formed a friendship over the last couple of weeks. The destruction of the bookshop had brought them closer together, but there’d been moments before that where they’d bonded over a shared love of books. The look of happiness on Zander’s face the night of the cocktail party crossed her mind. Aaron had obviously read a lot more into the time she and Zander had spent together.
‘Whatever you believe about your friend and what you could have done to help her, I think it’s only natural to regret things or to wish we’d done things differently. Like the way I courted the press when I was younger. If I hadn’t, maybe things would have been different, certainly for me now, and people’s opinion of me. I wanted to be noticed and talked about. I was rich and popular – well, that’s what I believed at the time. The “friends” I had and the women around me I strongly suspect were only there because of the money. But I didn’t care. I had a different woman on my arm each week; I slept around; I showed off; I bought a lot of stuff I didn’t need because I could. I wanted to stay relevant and in the news. None of it meant a thing, but I didn’t understand that until tragedy struck. I bet you read all of this and didn’t have a great opinion of me. Am I right?’
‘I um... well...’
‘Freya, you can be honest.’ He sat more upright to look at her, his arm still resting on her hip.
‘Yeah, I’d read stuff. Enough to make me question the real reason I got the job. Not straight off, it was just things some people said...’
‘Let me guess, Aaron was one of them.’
Freya shrugged. She still couldn’t understand how wrong she’d been about Aaron. He’d reeled her in with his looks and charm. But she knew it wasn’t just that. It was his friendship and the way he’d made her feel so welcome and at home on an island where she knew nobody. That was what hurt the most, that their friendship had been ruined and their subsequent romantic relationship was built on a lie. Had he set out to befriend and seduce her? Was that his plan all along to get close to Zander’s ‘pet project’ – the love island bookseller and the bookshop he cared so much about? It was all such a mess.
‘All we’ve been doing is talking,’ Zander said. ‘And I don’t know about you, but I’m starving. Tuck in.’ His hand slid away from her as he reached for the bowl of prawns. ‘I like it, sharing food with someone else.’
‘You don’t get to do this often?’
He shrugged. ‘I’m at one of the bars or restaurants most evenings, chatting to guests and sometimes I’ll grab a bite to eat with the head barman or chef, whoever’s around, but we usually talk about work. I rarely get to sit and chat to someone who understands...’
Freya realised he meant that she understood about losing someone. It was something they had in common along with their love of books and reading, and the bookshop they were both passionate about. Even if his way of life was different to hers, there was still much she could understand.
‘It gets lonely.’ Zander stared off into the distance. ‘I know the other evening I said I was less lonely than I used to be, but that’s not really true.’
Freya waited for him to continue.
‘I’m well aware that it sounds like I’m moaning, but fame and fortune... it’s been both my greatest gift and also the bane of my life. I live in the most incredible place, but I’m on an island that for the best part of the year I share with hundreds of other people and there are times when I feel desperately lonely. It’s an exclusive couples only resort, so day in day out I see and speak to couples newly in love, engaged, on honeymoon, celebrating special anniversaries, and yet I’ve never had that. And then there are the staff. However much I try and fit in with them, I’m not one of them. I’m the boss. I’m fair and straight and generous, but I’m well aware how different my life is to theirs. I think what I’m trying to say is, I’ve loved you being here. It seems different with you, perhaps because the bookshop means so much to me and has brought me so much joy and you’re a huge part of that. Talking to you about books and engaging with guests in a different way than about romantic stuff; it’s been a breath of fresh air. And you, you’ve been as perfect as I thought you’d be.’
Taken aback by the passion lacing his words, Freya downed the rest of her drink. Her palms were sweating and her heart thumped loud in her ears. ‘Why did I really get the job, Zander?’
‘Because you were the best person for it.’
‘Really?’ She looked at him wide-eyed.
‘I know
