Another thing that he used to say was that good things happen only to people who believe good things can happen to them. I have trained myself to notice only the good things in life, the positives in people. I try and surround myself with positive people and learn from them continuously. My parents also taught us to maintain equilibrium in our lives. ‘Don’t revel too much in your joy or drown yourself too much in your sorrow. Strike a balance,’ they would say.
Remember how you used to be scared and worried about your math exams? I told you it was perfectly okay even you scored a zero in the test and that one thing liberated you from your fear forever. There is a learning there for all of us. Fear of failure keeps people from trying to do anything that is out of their comfort zone.
Remember always that the values your parents instill in you are always something you should follow. Parents are the only people in your life who have no ulterior agenda other than your well-being on their minds.
The other things that have also made a difference in my life include the ability to challenge myself continuously, think ahead, and plan for the long-term. ‘Always keep the big picture in mind when you plan your life’, my father would say. To add to that, I want to tell you that it is also necessary to do many things right consistently and take an informed, long-term view of things. You may take a path that you have not taken before but there have been lots of visionaries before you, who have spent their lifetimes making that road for you. In comparison your contribution is nothing, so keep that in mind as you move forward.
I want you to know that as both of you grow up to become young, independent women with your own individual dreams and aspirations, restless to follow your own path, all I wish for you is happiness. But the definition of that happiness should be yours alone.
Relationships are extremely important for a happy life, children, so remember to build and nurture them and to have trust and faith in them. Skepticism and cynicism are the death knell of relationships.
Sometimes, I feel like telling you things about life so that I can save you the pain that comes from making mistakes. But I don’t think preaching helps. Live your life like you would peel an onion, each layer at a time, enjoying and savouring each moment, so that life becomes your biggest teacher. There is great merit in learning things on your own instead of having your parents tell you stuff because, if everything is revealed in advance, it is like watching a movie beginning with the end!
Sometimes people ask me what is the meaning of success. To me, success is equal to happiness. Success does not drive me, happiness does.
The birth of my daughters was my biggest happiness for a long time. Till my father passed away, I did not know what my greatest sorrow was. Today, when I get the time to call my mom twice a day and chat with her, that gives me immense happiness, contributing to other people’s happiness by helping them get a job, teaching them a skill or just giving them my time gives me happiness. Sometimes at home on a Sunday, I find happiness by just polishing my furniture so that it shines.
Be flexible with your thoughts and attitude and be sensitive to the people around you. In relationships and business, be fair. You can’t build businesses treading on other people’s lives. When I started my first restaurant in Dubai thirteen years ago, I had a relationship with the family of my then franchisee. Just three years after the restaurant opened, he passed away unexpectedly. But the family needed the money and so, despite the fact that the restaurant was being run by someone else, I still continue to give them a percentage of my royalty from that restaurant.
There are other things too which I hope you can avoid doing. I don’t suffer fools and expect perfection from myself and others around me. But I have started changing that now because that is too high a standard for most people. I want to tell you that it’s okay to make mistakes so long as you accept your mistake and make amends.
Respect the people around you. Respect as a value is something that has to be cherished. Respect your resources too. Wealth is not a value; spending with prudence is, and I am happy to see both of you have picked up our attitude about wealth.
I remember how upset you were a couple of years ago when I came to school in my new BMW to pick you up. You were aware that not all the students in school had the privileges that you did and you did not want to be insensitive to their feelings. It made me proud when you expressed that thought to me.
In the end, I want the both of you to remember that if anytime you want to come to me for a solution or want your mother or me to just listen to you, we are always there, no matter how busy we are. We love you.
Papa
Shaheen Mistri
haheen Mistri’s life changed in a few seconds one summer 23 years ago when the 18-year-old American resident was waiting at a traffic signal in a car that would take her to her grandparents’ plush home in South Mumbai. It was then that a group of street urchins surrounded the car, pressing their noses into the windows, begging, demanding some money so they could quell the hunger pangs that drove them crazy. The privileged daughter of a
