“Cheers!” we all said in unison as we drank from our glasses.
“So, I just have one question,” I said. “Who is staying where? I know you’re going to only be able to use one arm for a bit, and you...” I glanced at Brooks.
“I can’t walk that well yet.” He shook his head and laughed.
“I’m sorry about that, by the way.” I grinned.
“I deserved that too,” he said with a deep breath.
“I told him he’s welcome at my place anytime,” Easton said. “I have an extra couch he can sleep on until he’s well enough to drive.”
“You’re also welcome to stay here, Brooks,” I said. “I know Margo moved into the room upstairs. But I have the den that I rarely use. It has a couch, but it pulls out into a bed. It’s one of the more comfortable beds. I know there’s no door, but then you don’t have to walk up and down the stairs right now. And the bathroom is right around the corner. You’re more than welcome to make yourself at home there for as long as you’d like.”
Brooks nodded. “Sounds good. Thanks, Erika. I might just have to take you up on that.”
“There’s also a nice corner fireplace in there that I haven’t used yet. I was going to turn that into my writing office once I have time. After I’m finished with this book.” I glanced at Margo, and she laughed.
“Yes, book first, please,” she ordered.
“And Easton, if you want to stay as well, there’s a very comfortable couch in the living room.”
“It’s pretty comfortable,” Brooks assured him.
“Well, maybe I’ll crash here with you all for a night. We’ll see what tomorrow brings. I can pretty much do everything. I just have one arm for a bit. But I’m sure I’ll manage.”
“Stay as long as you’d like. You too, Margo.”
“I’ll stay as long as you need me.”
We enjoyed the rest of our brunch that morning, and all the uneasiness from the early hours was gone. By the time brunch was over, we were all laughing and having a great time.
Chapter Sixteen
I stepped into the den and handed Brooks his pillow and a few more blankets. We had the fireplace on, and the room was very warm. The extra blankets might be useful for sleeping if he had to support his legs.
“Erika,” he said as he sat upright in bed, leaning back against the many pillows. “We haven’t had much alone time today, but I was hoping we could talk for a bit.”
“Yes.. Anytime, you know that.” I sat on the foot of the bed.
“I feel like all I’ve done these past few days is apologize to everybody, including myself.”
“Brooks, you don’t have to...”
“I have to,” he interrupted. “I almost don’t have the words to say that could tell you how sorry I am for hurting you and hurting everyone this past week. I really am. I’m grateful things turned out like they are now and not worse. Things could have been much, much worse. I think that’s what terrifies me the most. Things could have been so much worse.”
I acknowledged.
He took a deep breath. “Losing Jaden was the worst thing that has happened in my life. Don’t take this the wrong way; losing you, I thought I lost my entire world. I had Jaden there to distract me, but at least I could live my days knowing I could find you and talk to you. Jaden...” he wavered. “I can’t do that with Jaden. I can never just swing on over and visit him or talk to him. That pain is like nothing I’ve ever felt.”
Tears filled his eyes as he continued to speak.
“I thought I lost my world when you left. I thought I lost my world when Jaden died. And I did. My entire world is gone.”
I set my hand on his leg.
“I don’t know how to handle all this. When he died, I died too. I don’t even know who I was these past few weeks. I honestly don’t. I can’t look in the mirror without feeling every horrible thing I ever said and did. I can’t force myself to look at his picture, even though I can’t stop staring at it. I just want him back. I just want him back. I’m angry at myself for not protecting him better. I knew what she was capable of. The courts didn’t. The courts only knew her from words and what they recorded on the paperwork and court documents. She put on such a fucking show, I couldn’t save him. And it was like no one could see though the curtain she had around herself. I didn’t think she’d hurt him, but the thought was terrifying and haunted me. It was like someone was trying to tell me something, and I just didn’t listen.”
“Brooks...”
“I just felt something was going to happen, and I didn’t listen. And then I wonder who would have even listened to me? The attorney thought I was just wanting to take full custody. The judge was dead set on joint custody. My concerns were tossed aside and ignored, like it was just another petty argument they had already heard in a dozen other custody cases. I couldn’t even protect him.”
“Brooks, you did all you could do,” I reassured him. “You can’t burden yourself. You did everything you could.”
“I could’ve taken him and ran, which I thought about often. I should’ve just taken him and ran away from her. It’s a sick pain in the pit of your stomach day after day when no one listens to you. I don’t pray, but during my custody case, and seeing the things she was doing, I started praying. For the first time in my life, I meant everything I prayed for. I don’t even know how to pray. Maybe I’m doing it all wrong because she
