Take a break. It was all I had. Let it rest until the deal is done and then see what happens. I would tell Jack tomorrow.
I fell asleep more terrified than I ever had been in my life.
***
Sam was cool-headed the next morning. He actually apologized for being so harsh the previous day, blaming it on his futile attempt to kick caffeine cold turkey. Today, he was holding a cup of coffee and everyone around him couldn't have been happier about it.
And he noticed the flowers in the trash. I guess my symbolic efforts had been successful. "Did you even figure out who those were from?" he asked solemnly after bringing them up.
"Nope. The mystery died with those beautiful flowers. I'm not concerned anymore. I don't have time for that in my life right now."
He let out a laugh that was distinctly Sam. "God, that's so weird. I wish somebody would anonymously send me stuff."
Honestly, he seemed to be quite pleased that I was treating the matter as closed. "You just wait," I said.
Sam joked around with me all morning, quite possibly more than he ever had before. Everything was something to be made fun of, whether it was a person, or a process, or something other than those two things.
"You're on fire, Sam," I said before I left for lunch. "Did you get good news today or something?" I guess it was actually possible that Jack had already wrapped it up last night—but it seemed unlikely. If that was the case, it sure would make my day a lot easier.
"Nothing. That guy is pissing me off. He won't return my calls. I'm trying not to worry about it."
"Yeah, that's for the best," I said, knowing that I really didn't know anything.
I headed to a coffee shop and just got a spinach and feta croissant. I ate and sipped coffee as I prepared to call Jack. I wanted to get this part over with as quickly as possible, like ripping off a band-aid instead of coping with the agony of a slow, hair-tugging removal.
The call initiated, I sat in silence, my stomach doing back flips. Why was I so worried? I just wanted some space until the deal was over. It would be better for both of us because obviously he wasn't working out the hard details while we were in bed together. Oh God, I wanted that really badly...
Jack picked up after several rings, his voice far more gruff than it usually was. "Hi, Effie," he said immediately.
"Jack, what's up?" I asked as a primer.
"I literally just got out of the studio like an hour ago. I'm totally fucking exhausted."
"What the hell happened?" I was still concerned even though I felt like I was pointing a loaded gun directly at his beautiful face.
"We had limited studio time and things just went over. This place is great, but it's always overbooked. I'm sorry I wasn't around for lunch. Shit, I need a nap." His sentences were coming out in short, random bursts.
Well, my plan had been thwarted before I could even give it a good shot. "That's rough."
"Do you want to do dinner or something? I'll call you after I wake up."
"Maybe," I said. "I've got some stuff to take care of." I was only sort of lying.
"Oh yeah? Anything cool?" he asked.
"Jesse's girlfriend was going to stop by and watch a movie. I don't even know what movie, but she's pretty cool." Now I was actually lying and it made me feel awful. "She wants to meet you."
"Okay, no big deal. And that would be fine. We can go on a double date or something."
I laughed. "They can't afford the places we go."
"It'll be my treat," he said predictably. It was predictably in the best possible way, however. Nothing to actually complain about. "But I'm barely awake, so I'll catch you later, okay? Have a good day, Effie."
"You too, Jack." The call ended unsuccessfully. The good news? I still had almost an entire rich, buttery croissant left.
The day passed slowly, but that was nothing new. Time never moved at regular speed—and it especially didn't move faster when something questionable lurked at the end of the day. I just wanted to say it and be done with it, to cope with the consequences associated with my decision.
Jack's return call came right before I arrived home, so I stood out front of the apartment building to deliver the potentially fatal blow.
"How was your nap?"
"It was fine. I had the worst dreams though. I was running from something I couldn't see, but it wouldn't stop chasing me. I'm not even sure how I knew it was chasing me. I could feel it, I guess."
"So you were glad to wake up?" I asked.
"Something like that. I'm hungry. Do you want to meet somewhere?" Here we go...
"Jack," I said in my lead in, "I'm worried about all of this. I'm paranoid about my job and Sam and all that."
"It's okay, Effie," he said. "Just relax." His voice was reassuring even though I was trying to distance myself from his wonderful clutches. "Lexy just keeps getting more offers. It's tough. I've never gotten so much attention for a new artist before." He obviously wasn't aware of where I was headed with the conversation.
"I think we should slow down a bit," I said. I was biting my lip as I spoke. "I think we should take a break, at least until the deal is over." I tasted blood. The evening had cooled off significantly from the day, but I felt like I was in an oven. Stress.
He fell silent. My heart started pounding like a locomotive. "Jack?"
"Effie, you know I can't—" He trailed off. "You know it'll be okay."
"Sam is super stressed out. He was talking about his divorce and everything else."
"Sam? Divorced?" he asked suddenly. I didn't pay much attention to it.
I gulped. "I like this so much," I confessed. "I don't want to mess it up. But I want my job,
