She thought of General Strom and hiscomment that it was not pleasant. “What did you feel when you Transitioned forthe first time?”
He drew in a long breath and looked awayfrom her, centering his gaze across the chamber to the far wall. “I don’t liketalking about it.”
“At least tell me how you reacted to it,Ailyn. How you…”
“I had no idea what they were going to doto me that day,” he said. “They came to my cell, shackled me and took me to oneof their laboratories. They shoved me facedown on a stainless steel table,lashed my hands and legs to the corners. Since I was naked to begin with—weweren’t allowed clothing—all I remember was shivering violently because thatdamned stainless steel was cold as ice on my bare flesh. When they came in withthis jar, I couldn’t see what was in it. Someone grabbed a handful of my hairand jerked my head up. Someone else poured a thick fluid down my throat. Iremember gagging, realizing it was blood, and the next thing I knew, they wereslicing my back open. I felt the blood running down my hip and then hell openedup and swallowed me whole.”
“There was a revenant worm in the jar.”
“Aye,” he said, “and the pain was sointense all I could do was lie there and scream as she ate her way through mykidney. You can’t imagine the agony, Shanee. No one can.”
Shanee shuddered at the image.
“Everyone hurried out of the room. Itseemed to take forever but I know it was only a matter of moments before Ibegan to change. When the Transition was complete, I broke free of therestraints as though they’d been made from paper. I rolled off the table andslammed myself against the wall, snarling and spitting. The only thought thatkept going through my mind was that I was going to stay that way. That I wouldbe a beast for the rest of my life. All I could do was crouch there and howlwith despair.”
“You must have felt so alone,” shewhispered.
“At the height of the agony I heard Tariqspeaking to me but I thought I was going insane. I was hearing voices, I was nolonger human. I just wanted to curl up and die.” His shoulders flexed as thoughhe were reliving that horrible time. “Eventually I wore myself out and justcollapsed on the floor, foaming at the mouth, whimpering. At some point I sleptand when I awoke, I had reverted back to being human. I heard Tariq speaking tome and he explained what had happened to me, what would continue to happen tome every three months for the rest of a very long, unnatural life.”
“Did his speaking to you help?” she asked.
“Not at first,” he replied. “At first I wassickened and enraged that this had been done to me against my will. I neverknew such creatures as Reapers even existed and here was this strange,disembodied voice telling me that the entire race came about because a goddessand demon were at war with one another. I just couldn’t get my head aroundthat, but he didn’t give up. He talked to me until I really started listening.If it had not been for Tariq, I could not have survived close to twenty yearsof being locked in that containment cell every moment of my life withoutcompanionship or anything else for that matter. It has taken me two years inthis paradise to begin to feel human again.”
“By the gods, Ailyn,” she said, feelingtears building in her eyes. She had not cried since she was a babe in arms buthis pain touched her as nothing ever had. “How awful for you.”
“And now you know why some men’s minds wereripped apart by the experience and they had to be destroyed. A man with thepowers of a Reaper who cannot reason or know right from wrong is not fit towalk among humanity. He is a living, breathing danger to everyone with whom hecomes into contact. They called them rogues and simply terminated them.”
“How long did you remain in Transition?”she asked, aching for him.
“A week,” he said. “A little longer. I haveno idea. When I reverted, I just lay curled up in a fetal position and criedwith relief until they told me that such changes would be mine for the rest ofmy life and that I had the goddess to thank for my predicament.”
“Morrigunia is the goddess,” she said. “Whois the demon?”
“Raphian, the Destroyer of Men’s Souls,” hesaid. “Tariq has told us very little about him. I believe the demon is the onlything in the megaverse the Prime Reaper fears.”
“I can’t believe your mother knows whatbeing turned into a Reaper would be like,” Shanee said.
“No doubt she has read the file on R-9,” hesaid. “The gods only know how she managed that but if she’s married to avice-counselor, perhaps he had contacts. No doubt she would have heard aboutRegis.”
“Regis?” she inquired.
Once more his shoulders flexed as if hewere in pain. “Regis was a Chalean who was brought to R-9 after I’d been thereabout ten years. He had been a communications specialist on a ship that hadbeen boarded by Alliance troopers. There was a firefight and only a few of thecrew survived. Regis was the only male and he was sent to us. The scientistsdid all the tests on him and were enraged to learn he had a terminal illnessand only a few months left to live.” He shrugged. “They gave him a hellionanyway, curious to see if the revenant worm would cure him.”
“And it did.”
“He was the only man among us who I haveheard was truly happy about being turned into a Reaper.”
“I wonder if your mother knows she’ll havepowers as well as longevity,” Shanee said.
“Oh I know she does. She’ll have learnedall she could about Reapers. She’ll know the Transference will be painful andthat she will Transition, she’ll need to take tenerse and Sustenance every dayof her life. To her, that would be worth
