“I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do now,” Aaron blurted.
“If you wanted to share the blankets, I wouldn’t mind,” Zack said, evidently amused.
“Ugh.” Aaron protested for the form of it. He shuffled himself around until his head was on Zack’s shoulder and the covers were reasonably distributed over both of them.
“Why ugh?” Zack asked once they were settled again, his arms wrapped comfortably around Aaron.
“This—you—are very pleasant, but....” Aaron squirmed with uncertainty.
“But what?”
“I’ve never done anything like what we did last night. And now I am kind of at a loss.”
“Really?” Zack teased. “You seemed like a natural.”
Aaron shoved at him with a laugh. “Thank you and that’s not what I meant.”
“Fair. Sorry. But that’s not uncommon,” Zack said. His matter-of-factness made some of Aaron’s nerviness dissipate. At least one of them knew what they were doing. “What do you need?”
“I don’t know,” Aaron said. “Which I think is part of the problem? I always know what I need. At least in training. And sex is usually straightforward.”
“But last night wasn’t?” Zack asked.
“Not in the least.” Aaron shook his head.
Zack’s forehead creased. “Did you not like it?”
“No! No no no no. I liked it. I liked it a lot,” Aaron said emphatically.
“Oh, okay. Good then.” Zack sounded relieved. He tightened his arms around Aaron. “I liked it too. in case that wasn’t clear at the time.”
“I just...” Aaron searched for words. “I don’t know what to think about it.”
“If it helps, you don’t have to think anything about it.”
“I know, but.” Aaron floundered for the right words. “I’m a competitive athlete. I like structure. I’m wired to like meeting expectations, or maybe, I’ve wired myself to like meeting expectations. Which is probably why that worked for me the way it did. But you saying there’s nothing I have to do—I get that you’re being generous. But it’s not helping right now.”
Zack narrowed his eyes, evidently considering. When he spoke again, his voice was lower. Warmer, with a hush that promised good things to Aaron if he listened and listened closely.
“Is what you need reassurance?” he asked.
Aaron nodded.
“Easy enough. Especially for you.” Zack drew his nose along the line of Aaron’s jaw, from his mouth to his ear. “You are good. You are very good. Especially for me. Whatever you want me to say—or do—to prove that to you, I am more than happy to oblige. And if you don’t know what that might be....” he trailed off, and pulled back enough to give Aaron a wicked grin.
Aaron shook his head, his eyes wide. He wanted another chance to feel amazing as much as he wanted another chance to not think at all.
“Do you want me to get you off again?” Zack asked.
“Yes,” Aaron said. “But—”
“But? I am many things,” Zack replied, “But definitely a crappy mind-reader.”
“I want to focus on you first,” he said. “Like last night.”
“Ohhhhh,” Zack said, looking beyond delighted. “Then why don’t you come down here,” he said, holding the blankets up for Aaron. “And warm my cock. Just hold it in your perfect mouth.”
Aaron scrambled under the covers into the heat and warmth and musk of being so close to Zack’s body like this.
“That’s it,” Zack crooned above him. “Don’t do anything. Just breathe,” he said as he stroked Aaron’s hair. “Let me take my time getting hard. When I want to make use of you I will.”
It was so filthy and hot Aaron thought he would combust on the spot, but he did as he was told, enjoying the heavy weight of Zack in his mouth and the idea that he could be this incredibly good—and be rewarded for it—by doing almost nothing at all.
AARON GOT READY TO leave Zack’s apartment reluctantly, and only because he had ice time that afternoon. He felt giddy, tired, and remarkably clear-headed, like he suddenly knew what silence was for the very first time in his life.
“When we do this again,” Zack told him, pressing him back against the door and sucking a bite just below the collar of Aaron’s shirt. “Bring your skating stuff here and save yourself a trip.”
So much for the quiet in his head.
Aaron was dizzy with desire on the drive home. Nothing but years of discipline kept him from turning around and diving right back into Zack’s bed with him. He needed to snap out of it, but he didn’t want to.
Focus, he told himself, twiddling the radio dial to find a suitably high-energy station to get into the right mode. You have work now. Be boy crazy on your own time.
Which was always easier said than done. And Zack seemed to make it particularly difficult.
He unlocked the door to his own apartment to find Charlotte perched on the couch, her computer on her lap and a half-empty smoothie bottle on the coffee table.
“Where have you been?” she demanded as soon as he came in.
“I told you I was going to Zack’s.”
“All night?” She narrowed her eyes at him.
“I mean, demonstrably, yes?”
Charlotte sniffed. “You might have come to your senses and gone to the gym this morning instead. You have ice time at two and an Olympic team to make. He can’t be that good.”
“I can keep my own schedule,” Aaron pointed out. There were ways in which he was a mess, but blow off his obligations, he did not.
“When is he leaving? His article must be nearly done.” Charlotte quite clearly wanted him gone. Which Aaron could accept to some extent as the care of a concerned roommate and a fellow skater who didn’t want the distraction in the rink, but it struck him as a little extreme.
“It is,” Aaron said. “But he’s not. At
