“You don’t sound ridiculous,” Katie said, her voice gentle now. “You sound like someone who wants to be seen. Now, do you want my opinion about this as your coach or as your friend?”
Aaron looked up at her. That was a choice he did not want to make. “I’ll take whatever’s useful.”
“All right. Everyone will make you think they can get to an Olympics by being absolutely regimented about every single aspect of their life at every second of every day. And I am here to tell you that is not possible. No matter how regimented you are, the fact that you’re human will come out somewhere. For Brendan and I it was the screaming matches and the panic. For you, maybe it’s how you’re always looking for love. Or maybe it’s this one particular guy. It is, of course, also possible that you just need a hobby. I don’t know, and I don’t care. My only job is to help you find what you need and make sure you don’t blow up your life in the process.”
“But you don’t like Zack. Or don’t trust him, or something. You didn’t want him at the farm.”
Katie shook her head. “I don’t have any feelings about him one way or the other. He was supposed to be useful and then...you were you.”
“Sorry about that.”
“We both know you’re not sorry, but Aaron, listen to me. I don’t care about the photos or whatever. I really don’t. I think the world is wildly fucked up for the ways it judges people. But it does judge people. If you want to have a boyfriend who’s a war reporter and bondage photographer...” Katie trailed off and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Why is this happening to me?” she muttered to herself. “Look...don’t let him take any photos of you, and if you’re just in it for the sex, find someone else. This will all be funny after the Olympics. But not right now.”
Aaron stared at the faded pattern on the carpet, absorbing that. He felt strangely light, a burden he hadn’t known was there lifted off his shoulders. He didn’t need his coach’s permission or approval to date whoever he wanted to date—or fuck whoever he wanted to fuck. Like Katie had said, TCI wasn’t that kind of training center. But still. Knowing that being with Zack wasn’t going to be an issue was a relief.
“Do you think I’m going to get there?” he asked. “To Almaty.”
Katie looked at him for a long moment. “I don’t know,” she finally said. “You’re still looking for something, probably in the wrong places. But if you find it? Yeah. Then you’ll get there.”
Chapter 12
THE SAME MORNING
Twin Cities Ice
ONCE AARON LEFT, ZACK set about doing the cleaning they’d ignored last night in lieu of sex. The temptation to crawl back into bed and sleep for another few hours was strong, but getting the dishes done now instead of later was probably the more responsible thing to do.
Sleeping with Aaron had probably not been responsible, however. Zack had been divorced for less than six months. He was definitely still in rebound territory. Aaron was trying to get to the Olympics. And the campsite rule probably didn’t approve of introducing aspiring Olympians to bondage weeks before the most important season of their careers began.
Oh well.
Zack whistled to himself as he put clean dishes away and wiped down the counter. He couldn’t bring himself to feel remorse or regret. Aaron was adorable and hot and eager and had been more than happy with everything Zack had offered. And as unwise as it may have been, Zack was pleased with himself. He liked Aaron. A lot. And last night, and this morning, had been excellent.
With the kitchen once more clean, Zack considered his options for the rest of the day. Revisions on his article draft wouldn’t come back from Sammy for a few weeks. Unless there was yelling. Then it might happen sooner, but it still wasn’t going to happen today.
He didn’t need to burn time chasing down Sauer for a comment at the moment either. There were probably emails he could send to his lawyer about his place in Miami, but that could wait. And he could noodle around with the personal essay that he was suspecting might become a full-fledged memoir, but.... He had time and a city to settle into.
It was probably only natural that he gravitated to the rink—and for once, not because Aaron was also going to be there, although Zack did see his car in the parking lot as he walked in. The sight made him smile even as he had no intention of being a distraction or otherwise interfering with Aaron’s work day.
Cal, the front desk guy, greeted Zack warmly and waved him back as usual, but Zack stopped at the counter. “Actually, I’m here to skate today.”
“You mean unlike every other day you’re here?” Cal grinned.
“I mean, on my own. If that’s a thing I can do?” Zack realized belatedly that he didn’t know anything about the public side of skating at TCI at all. He probably should have called. Or googled. Or just asked Aaron.
Cal, though, was enthusiastic. “Oh yeah, of course! The schedule’s there,” he said, pointing to a bulletin board across the lobby. “There’s public skate, that’s for anybody, any level, and you can rent skates if you need, though you’ve got your own, right?”
Zack nodded.
“Then there’s practice sessions for the people taking the intro-level group lessons. The kids are great but you probably don’t want to deal with those. A bunch of six-year-olds with hockey gear and no fear is chaos. We’ve also got stick and puck and pickup hockey sessions if you’re interested in that. It’s a good group and they’re always looking for new people.”
“That’s more choices than I was anticipating.” Zack said. He paid
