He snorts, then he jerks his chin. “We cool?” he asks.
I want to say no. I want to tell him to go fuck himself. I don’t. Instead, I dip my chin and nod my head a couple of times. All that shit, what he did, it’ll come out in the wash. He’ll have to atone for what he did and I don’t know if he can ever pay for what he did. Trying to kill one of your own, over cunt? Not fucking cool at all.
“Cool enough. You hold up your end of whatever shit you got with Dragon and these fucks pay for what they did, then we’ll be even cooler. Gimme your number just in case?”
His lips twitch into a grin and he laughs as he takes my phone and starts to enter his number. “See you soon. Better get the fuck outta here so nobody sees you. If they do, I can’t protect you, not here.”
“See you soon, fucker.”
Without another word, I use my feet to roll my bike away from the clubhouse, I start my engine and I head to Marshall’s where I know the brothers I rode with are waiting for me.
I try not to think about the Punchers, about the way they treat their own fucking children. Then I try not to think about Avah, about the way I feel at the fact that I hurt her.
AVAH
Glancing down at all the boxes that now line the room, I wonder where the fuck I’m going to put all of my shit and then I think about the fact that there’s at least double this amount in my apartment back in LA.
“You need a place of your own,” a voice calls out.
Turning my head, I’m surprised to see Taylee standing in the doorway. She’s wearing an oversized man’s shirt and a pair of baggy shorts that reach just above her knees. I know that uniform for what it is, I lived in it for months after I became a call girl. This is her armor.
“I really do,” I say, lifting my hand to wave her inside.
She walks into the room a few steps, but doesn’t sit down or come too far inside. She’s hesitant and I don’t blame her. This probably isn’t the best place for someone who had been sexually abused for months.
“Are you doing okay?” I ask softly.
Taylee’s gaze lifts to mine and her eyes connect with my own. I don’t know what I see behind her gaze, but it’s not the impassiveness she’s trying to convey.
“How do you just… forget?”
“You don’t,” I say softly. “Our difference was, he paid for a service that I provided for a long time.”
“You weren’t providing that service when he took you,” she points out.
Shaking my head, I press my lips together. “No, not that time.”
“Then how do you forget?”
“You don’t, Taylee. Not ever.”
“How do you move on?”
Shaking my head, I take a few steps in her direction, closing the distance between us. “You don’t move on. You can’t. You’re not the same person you were.”
“I can’t live like this, not forever,” she exhales.
“You move forward. Never on. Just onward and forward.”
I watch as she wrinkles her nose, then looks to the floor before she lifts her gaze up to meet mine again. She blinks a few times before she leans in slightly.
“I like Worm,” she whispers. “I feel wrong for that.”
My lips curve up into a smile and I can’t stop that smile from spreading across my face. I know that my eyes are probably smiling as well. It’s just so fucking cute. Worm seems really nice, but it’s Taylee that has my heart beating quickly. She isn’t dead inside, she’s confused because she feels.
“Don’t ever feel wrong because you’re attracted to someone.”
She shakes her head, taking a step back from me before she inhales a deep breath. “I should be healing. I should be working through everything that happened. My brother died. He died right in front of me, and I was happy to watch it happen. I’m not that kind of person and yet I was.”
“You aren’t the same person, Taylee and you never will be. The Taylee from the past, it’s okay to reminisce about her, but you are not her, not anymore. Embrace this girl, this strong as fuck girl. And if you’re attracted to a decent man, when you’re ready, embrace that too.”
“I feel really… dumb.”
Inhaling a deep breath, I press my lips together again and let out a long exhale. “You’re not. You’re strong, strong as shit. You’re also brave. Now, do you want some clothes? Because I have a feeling most of this shit is just not going to apply to my lifestyle anymore.”
“Oh yeah?” she asks, a sigh in her voice at the topic change.
“Yeah. A lot of designer stuff. I don’t think the people of Eagar are ready for all that.”
Taylee laughs. “But they would be with me wearing it?”
I shrug a shoulder. “Yeah, I think they would, especially the resident’s finest computer nerd.”
Her cheeks turn pink and I know that soon there’s going to be another branding. I can practically smell the charred flesh all over again.
Chapter Thirty-Six
HAWK
Marshall tilts his head to the side, confusion written all over his face. He doesn’t say anything immediately, but his gaze flicks between me, Gator, and Dutch. I can tell that he’s trying to figure out why we’re here, unannounced.
“Hey,” I greet, jerking my chin in his direction.
Marshall nods his head. “Hawk,” he murmurs. “Everything cool?”
He shifts from one foot to the other, nervously, and I want to ask him if everything is indeed cool, but I don’t say anything.
“Just here to visit,” I offer, shrugging a shoulder.
He steps to the side, allowing us to walk into his warehouse, but he doesn’t go ahead of us, instead he waits for me to walk toward him. When I’m almost past him, he clears his throat. Stopping, I turn my head and look over
