That, however, wasn’t the real reason I was hesitant about this deal.
It wasn’t…it wasn’t as fucking easy as just pumping and running. If I was going to have a kid…well, fuck, I didn’t want him to just never know about me. The idea of having a child in this world seemed impossible to me. Those who were related to me or loved me usually ended up dead or running the hell away from me.
Parents, dead in a car wreck.
Sister, distant and hadn’t heard from her in years.
First love, joined the military and died.
Difficult as it was, I’d fucking handled all of those situations as best as I could. I knew there was nothing I could do. But the idea of bringing someone into this world, living with the fear something bad could happen to them…
No, that wasn’t going to fucking happen.
But if it did happen…
If you did bite the bullet and take this deal…
Well, I suppose someone as rich and well-off as Emily would make for a hell of a fucking mother. The kid would never be left wanting. And while Emily had offered for me not to be involved, thinking it would make the deal better, I suspected that me saying I’d at least want the right to make appearances as I desired would be a point in her favor. Or would it?
By the time I got back to the hotel room, I was giving serious thought to saying yes. Ridiculous, right? I’d always found the idea of me being a father patently absurd. As impossible as the idea of Scott or Liam starting families of their own.
Funny how that worked. Funny how long the idea of following the three rules lasted up to the point that real love and real romance felt like a possibility.
I laid on the bed and tried to close my eyes, but I couldn’t fucking sleep. The debate played out with far too much ferocity in my head. My DOM side wanted to say no. I had plenty of fucking money, I’d never drive that damn car anyway, and I didn’t need to bring life into this world when my greatest skill was taking it out.
My human side, a side I’d suppressed pretty damn well and mostly left for dead in my subconscious, was making a comeback and wanting to say yes. It didn’t mean anything other than five minutes at a sperm bank. Whatever happened after that was up to me.
There was one thing, though, I could say for certain.
Thinking about Emily like this, imagining doing it the old-fashioned way, with her naked body right there for me to do as I pleased…I mean, the thought was certainly strong.
Very fucking strong.
I was rock hard. I had her number. All I needed to do was just text her, tell her to come to my room, and the instant she walked inside and the door was shut, just control her and fuck her senseless.
No.
I had to be better than that.
But I had to get release or I would never fucking sleep.
I went into the bathroom, got into the shower stall, and found some body wash that would have to function as a sort of improvised lube. I put some into my hands, rubbed them together, touched my cock, and started stroking myself as I imagined Emily in the shower with me. I’d press her body up against the sliding glass door, taking her from behind with sheer force.
I’d rub her clit while I was inside her. She wouldn’t know how to handle the intensity of the sensations. She’d moan my name while I rammed my cock so far inside of her. I’d squeeze her breasts with her other hand, her whole curvy body slamming into mine.
I’d turn her around and press her back against the wall. I’d take her again, sliding my tongue down her throat while my cock penetrated deeper and deeper inside of her. I’d feel my cock swell. I’d grunt louder and harder as I pressed deeper.
No. This was real life. I was approaching orgasm.
“Oh, fuck, Emily,” I grunted.
I felt it reach the edge. I closed my eyes, moaned loudly, and came as I thought of her on her knees in front of me, taking the deluge of cum erupting out of my cock.
She wouldn’t fucking be taking me to a sperm bank. I’d be taking her right here in this fucking hotel room.
“Jesus Christ,” I muttered to myself as I slowly came back down.
My legs were wobbly. My body was loose, warm, and tired. I grabbed a towel, cleaned my hands and my dick, and stepped back to the bed. I pulled the covers up.
It worked for only about ten minutes before thoughts of Emily’s naked body came roaring back, making it damn near impossible to get any semblance of shuteye. For better or for worse, this girl was going to haunt my dreams and dance in my nightmares until I committed to her—or perhaps until I said yes to her. Rare was the person who got in my head, but even rarer was the person who managed to stay there for long.
In the case of one Emily Lorne, however, the fact she’d already made me jerk off had me convinced this one was going to be just a bit different.
Chapter 5: Emily
As I made my way back to my house, I felt utterly relieved I got that out.
We’d made no deal, but we sure as hell had made some progress. And it was a damn good thing my father had given me that collector’s car. I really didn’t think much of it at the time, in fact, aside from one visit after his death
