Ben turned his gaze back to Marcie. Marcie had her arm around Nate, just entering his teen years, and Jess was between Talia and Cherry, holding them close to her sides. When Marcie’s head turned enough for him to see her profile, she looked composed but tired. He could see the strain. She’d been doing what they were all doing. Attending to whatever details needed to be handled, trying to make things easier for Cass. They all knew what a blow this was for her, and now Dana hit that one straight on.
The blind woman tilted her head. She was wearing dark glasses, a way to keep her fixed gaze from being distracting, but they also gave the impression she was passing her glance over the assembled. “Marcie told me that, for all the love his family gave him, it was his older sister Cass who never failed Jeremy, no matter the pain and suffering his actions sometimes brought upon the family. She always loved him, as love is meant to be. Just, true and honest.” She looked toward Cass then, unfailing in her direction. “Cass, as such, your siblings wanted me to conclude this service by reading 1 Corinthians 13. In your honor. They’re certain Jeremy would agree.”
Ben watched Cass’ shoulders quiver and then buckle. Lucas’ arm tightened around her, his head bending over hers. Marcie pressed her temple hard to her sister’s as the words were read.
Ben kept his gaze fixed on Marcie, the tears that ran down that side of her face, the brittle expression, as Dana spoke the powerful words.
“If I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing… Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; …it bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things…”
He should be sitting with her, as Matt was with Savannah, Jon with Rachel…Lucas with Cass. The front row of chairs had been for Jeremy’s immediate family. There were a line of chairs right behind them for the K&A family and Steve Pickard, Cass’ extended family. The single empty chair at the end was one he was sure Peter had kept open for him if he wanted to sit with them. He’d stayed back here, though, and not just because he was late and didn’t want to be disruptive. He’d been listening, watching, looking…for something.
He drew a breath, a deep, slow one. When he was mastering a sub, everything went away but his body and her body. There was one singular focus, one intent, everything clear, nothing hidden or obscured. This moment felt like that. Everyone’s focus on the minister, the quiet, tranquil surroundings, but there was a straight line between him and Marcie, connecting them. For the first time he put his hand on it, felt the tautness that confirmed it was tight and true, a true binding. Just waiting for him to have the courage to grasp it. To fight for it.
As the service concluded, people started filing back into the house for the hors d’oeuvres and to give the family their condolences. Matt saw him, nodded. Ben acknowledged him but stayed where he was. Matt understood, continuing to escort Savannah toward the house, Talia now under his other arm. Nate and the other siblings likewise had fallen in among the guys, or with Steve Pickard and his wife.
Marcie had turned Cass over to Lucas, but she stayed by her chair, watching them all leave. At first, he thought she knew he was there, but then he realized she didn’t. She looked too alone, too lost in her head. Once everyone was well on their way, she turned and walked away.
He followed her. She went to the end of a finger dock at the manmade lake, stepping out of her black heels to sit down. Putting her feet in the water, she braced her hands on the rough planking. Taking off his own shoes and socks, he rolled up the legs of his trousers, and then came up behind her, putting a brief hand on her shoulder to warn her of his presence before he sat down next to her, trailing his feet in the water next to hers.
She kept looking down into the water, the mild wind keeping it rippling with movement. After seeing her in outfits that taunted and teased him beyond bearing, it was unexpected to realize she was even more beautiful to him like this. Her face pale but quiet, her hair drawn back from her face, the dark modest dress against soft skin. She looked both older than expected, and yet more vulnerable.
“If you could meet God and ask him one question, what would it be?” She had a wistful, sad look, and he knew he’d do anything to make her feel better.
“I’d ask him if there was anything in the world that hadn’t been done, that hadn’t happened. Not the significant obvious stuff, like world peace. The urban legend kind of thing, what people claim has happened before, but no one is certain about it. Like someone sitting down on the toilet and finding a snake in there.”
She turned her head to look at him, her brows raised. “You ass,” she said, and then she started laughing.
Extraordinary. That was the word Jon had used about her maturity, but it fit so much more about her. He couldn’t help touching her face, but when he did, she stopped laughing. As she lifted a hand, hesitant, he waited on her. He knew it wasn’t that she wasn’t sure of his permission. She wasn’t sure of herself, of what she wanted. What he’d done to her, the hurt, was still too close. He had to let her choose. Which meant he also had to
