Thankfully, he survived the shooting, but the four of us who were there that day were never really the same after that. They say situations like that bring those involved closer together. That wasn’t the case with us. Instead, it made us all drift apart.
I still suffer from PTSD because of that day.
5
Call it unhealthy, but I have a constant need for sexual affection.
And that need wasn’t always something my first wife could meet.
The pain of losing my dad, on top of my mental health challenges following the shooting, put even more pressure on our marriage. I was working not only as a police officer, but also at Sears and even for Coke, stocking shelves in local stores, all while still continuing to work out at the gym most days. At home, there was a rift between M and me, and I was almost thankful for the extra work I had to do to keep up with the bills and the other expenses that life throws at a person.
Money was stable but tight following my surgery, other bills, and our daughter playing travel softball, which I also coached. But the biggest strain in our relationship was caused by her parents. Her mother was addicted to prescription drugs, and her father was a lifelong alcoholic, and he later turned to prescription drugs as well.
I felt like we couldn’t go anywhere without getting a courtesy call from the local police, letting me know the cops were going to my in-laws’ home or an ambulance was picking someone up from their residence because of their drug use. We never seemed to have any time to ourselves, time that was just for us. And that distance between us only seemed to increase.
In April of 2015, I brought up the subject of my wife and I having an open relationship. At first, she was hesitant, but the more I brought it up and pushed, the more she seemed willing to try. We started meeting people who shared our interests and going out to social gatherings with them.
The first party we attended was the night I met my second wife, O, for the first time. During the night, my cell phone went off, and M and I went out to the driveway to take the call. It was the dispatcher, once again letting me know that an ambulance was going to my in-laws’ home. I was frustrated and angry, but I didn’t want to leave. I felt like they had already ruined so much for us, and I wasn’t willing to let them mess up this night.
As I tried to open the front door to reenter the party, I found it was locked, so I knocked. After a few moments, it opened, and that was when I saw her for the first time.
With one look at her, I felt something inside of me shift. When I met my first wife, there was instant attraction, but what I felt for her was more of a puppy-love infatuation in comparison to how I reacted to that first interaction with O.
There she stood looking at us, and I couldn’t help smiling.
Later, when we talked about that moment, she told me that when I smiled at her, she knew she was in trouble.
In this new group of friends, M and I were the fresh blood, and we got lots of attention, but my eye had already been caught. That quickly, this woman changed my life.
A few days following the party, I found her on Facebook and friended her. After talking for a short while, we decided to go on a double date with our spouses. Once we had dinner, we ended up at a strip club. At the time, M didn’t get along with O’s husband, but that didn’t stop the two of us from getting to know each other.
That night, I realized there wasn’t just an instant attraction between me and the woman who would become my second wife. There was an immediate emotional attachment forming as well for both of us, and we decided to take our date back to her house. But before we could leave, her daughter called to say she was coming home early from a friend’s house, and our plans were put on hold.
Disappointed, I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to kiss her, make any move, really, but my shyness got in the way. She surprised me when she pushed me up against the building and kissed me, letting me know that everything I was feeling, she was feeling too.
At the end of the night, we went our separate ways with our spouses, but we stayed in contact, continuing to talk regularly.
6
Over the next few weeks, I learned more and more about O.
She was coming to the end of her second marriage. Her first husband, who was also the father of her two children, had been both emotionally and physically abusive. The man she was married to at that point in time was…for want of a better word, weird. M didn’t like him, so that made it impossible for the four of us to have a relationship, but that didn’t stop me from wanting to be with O.
At another party, O and I decided it was going to be “our night.” The party was held at the same house as the first party M and I attended, and we were also celebrating the host’s birthday. All I could remember as the night seemed to drag on was thinking, “Hurry up and open your presents. Hurry. Up!”
As soon as the last present was opened, I grabbed O, and we disappeared into
