After that night, our relationship started building.
I knew I had to make a decision. M and I were still technically trying to keep our marriage together, but my heart was somewhere else. While I was dating, so was she, but she was also willing to work on our marriage.
When I realized I was in love with O, I decided to move out. It wasn’t fair to M to think there was hope for us when my emotions were too far gone for someone else.
During this time, I was going through training to prepare me to take over as police chief of Pampa since the chief at the time was getting ready to retire. I’d been selected to take his place, and for a few months, I would travel down to Dallas for a week at a time for training.
O flew to Tennessee for work during my second week of training, and while she was gone, I confessed to her, “I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you.”
“I love you too,” she admitted, and she promised me when she returned, she was going to tell her husband their marriage was over.
When she flew home, her husband met her at the airport in Dallas with her kids, and they had a family weekend together. But when they got back to their house, she told him it was over and she was moving out. For a while, she moved in with her parents and then her sister. I helped her pack and move in to her sister’s house.
Because of how her first marriage ended, she always kept divorce documents and decree templates on her computer. She even helped out a few people at her work by printing off the paperwork for them. When it was time for her to file for her second divorce, she didn’t even need a lawyer to handle it because she already had everything she needed.
M and I had separated, and I was living on my own, and O was out of her husband’s house. Each morning, I would leave early for work and stop at Starbucks before I met up with her. Her favorite was a latte, no foam, two Sweet’N Lows. Sometimes I would be late for work because I just didn’t want to say goodbye to her in the mornings.
My third week of training in Dallas, I asked her to come down to visit me. We went to Billy Bob’s in Fort Worth, and I felt like I was in my element. There was no shyness, no being uptight. There was just her and me.
It felt…magical.
But my own divorce didn’t come without consequences. When my boss found out about our separation and that we were getting a divorce, it was decided I wasn’t right for the chief of police position I’d been training for. They gave the job to someone else.
That stung because I’d already invested so much of myself, and I was excited to become the police chief.
7
Even though my career had suffered a setback, I felt like my romantic relationship was strong and going well.
But that changed in Christmas of 2015.
Since the birth of my daughter, I’d always been there on Christmas morning for her and then my son. Even though their mother and I were now divorced, I didn’t want that to change. At least not yet. While I had a new love in my life, I was still friends with my ex-wife.
I lied to O and told her I was going home after spending Christmas Eve with her and her family. Instead, I went to M’s house, and once the kids were in bed, I helped her put out the presents and set up for the next morning. She slept in her bed, and I took the couch.
Christmas morning was much the same as it always had been for us—the kids waking up early to open presents, having breakfast together. It was what we all wanted, and needed, after the chaos of 2015.
But after I left for the day, my ex took it upon herself to call O and let her know where I had spent the night. Even though she hadn’t contested the divorce, she blamed the other woman for our marriage breaking up, and she had a moment of vindictiveness. In all honesty, neither of us was innocent in the demise of our relationship. But that morning, it must have hit her harder for some reason, and she made the call to be spiteful.
O broke up with me that night.
I knew I shouldn’t have lied, but because I wanted that time with my kids on Christmas morning, I did it anyway. Part of me regretted it, but I’m not sure I would have done it differently.
For the next few weeks, I called O almost every day, asking her to give me another chance. But she wouldn’t even pick up.
Then one day, out of the blue, my cell phone rang. I was doing bailiff work, and because I was in court and didn’t recognize the number, I sent it to voice mail. When I listened to the message, I was blown away. It was O, asking how I was doing.
By some miracle, she was willing to give our relationship another go.
Slowly, we made an effort to get back on track. I told her I would give her as much time as she needed to learn to trust me again. I wanted to make us work, because I loved her.
Mother’s Day of 2016 she had to go to Vegas for work, and she invited me to go with her. We stayed at the Paris casino, and that night over dinner, I proposed.
On September 3, 2016, we got married in a small western-themed ceremony in our backyard. She wore a white lace dress and cowboy boots, while I wore jeans and a starched white shirt. And I made the love of my life my wife.
8
I was raised in the Lutheran church, but going to services wasn’t something
