Fernando used to be a very handsome man, dark-haired with olive skin and bushy eyebrows that gave his face a determined look. But as he approaches, I can’t find any trace of his previous good looks. He’s still relatively muscular, though an open button on his belly hints at some extra weight he has put on. It’s his face, however, that shocks me. It has aged more than the actual time since our last encounter should suggest. His eyelids are saggy and two deep wrinkles run from his nose to the corners of his mouth. Even his previously thick locks are thinning, a sign that burning the candle at both ends—or in Fernando’s case, even more than that—has taken a toll on him. Did he start using that rubbish he was dealing?
He points his finger at me, an accusing glint invading his light-brown eyes. “Woman, I’m hurt that you haven’t come to me since you returned to San Sebastian. I’ve been expecting you to drop by.”
My hands fly to my hips, and I forget that I wanted to give him the silent treatment. “Why would I have come to you, huh?”
I cut Fernando out of my life when I discovered his criminal activity and his countless cheating. I didn’t even search for him after I learned from Ale that it was Fernando’s package that got him arrested. Not that it would have changed anything if I had, besides put the rest of my family at risk. That’s probably why Abuelita convinced me to let it go.
He raises his eyes to the night sky as if he’s actually thinking. Then he blinks at me, a coy smirk on his lips. “Because you missed me? To thank me for caring for Alejandro when you decided to abandon him?”
Oh, he just pressed my banshee button. I stomp my foot and some gravel scatters. “Whaaaat?” My voice comes out so shrill I’m surprised it doesn’t shatter any windshields in the parking lot. “How do you dare to talk to me about my brother? Do you think I don’t know for whom Ale was delivering the parcel when the police caught him?!”
Fernando rubs his chin, but judging from his steady expression, he doesn’t feel guilty at all. “So what? Your brother wanted to hang out with us. He came to me. Maybe he needed a new role model while you were away chasing your own frigging happiness.”
My chest fills with so much hatred that my lungs have no space in my ribcage. Chasing my own happiness? I needed to leave San Sebastian because I couldn’t stand the shame he put me through. Being called the “whore of a drug dealer.” My nostrils flare as I step closer and whack him on his chest. “You? A role model? Oh, please. You only think of yourself. You always have, and you always will. You didn’t even tell Ale what he was picking up for you.”
Fernando’s left eye twitches.
“You lied to him like you’ve lied to me for years. You’re lucky he didn’t rat you out to the police,” I add.
“Well, he didn’t.”
“I should have told him about you and your business before I left,” I hiss.
“Well, you didn’t, either.” He wiggles his brows at me. “I think it’s because you still have feelings for me, Evita.”
A sensation resembling nausea spreads in my belly at Fernando’s words. It’s not a realization that I still have any attachment to him that makes me feel like throwing up. It’s the fact that there was once a time when I thought he was a great man, perhaps even the right one for me.
I was younger and losing my mom had put me into a vulnerable, emotional state. Fernando’s self-assured stance, his big words, and his attention to me must have given me the sense of shelter that my step-father with his alcohol problems couldn’t. I wanted someone who would love and support me through that heart-shattering situation at home.
All my siblings were young, so I had to keep things running when Henry couldn’t. Abuelita helped me, but most of her time was spent caring for baby Espie. In this dark time, I mistook Fernando’s empty words for the truth and interpreted his jealousy as a sign that I was important to him and that he would never lie or betray me. He never really lent me a hand in anything practical, but having him stop by and tell me he cared for me was just what I needed to hear.
I was so blind. I didn’t notice his suspicious stories, I ignored the odd phone calls he kept receiving and the strange people who stopped him on the street, as well as his sudden disappearances that he wouldn’t explain. I didn’t see his real self until it was too late.
But now I see it, thank heavens.
I swallow to keep my voice as cool as possible. What I want to say can’t come across as something blurted out in the heat of the moment. “You know what, Fernando? On this point, you’re right. I still have feelings for you. Do you want me to list them for you?”
His mouth moves into a self-satisfied smirk. “I’m all ears.”
I lift my hand and start to count. “Loathing, disgust, revolt…and yeah, let’s not forget pity! You make me sick, but at the same time I do pity you. Because you have to live your entire existence being the cheating, lying jerk that you are.”
Judy’s quiet voice cuts through the silence following my outburst. “We should get inside Eva. We need to get ready.”
Gosh, I totally forgot she was standing beside me listening to our scene. “You go on. I’ll be right behind you in a minute.”
Judy throws a doubtful glance at me but then shrugs. “Okay, if you’re sure.”
I am. It’s for the best. Things are about to get ugly between me and Fernando.
Judy dashes to the door and disappears inside the Desert Rose’s staff entrance.
Fernando bends forward, so
