My mouth filled with sawdust, and I nodded. “I remember.”
“You don’t get to do this alone.”
“I’m fine. I just need to go. Check on Elise.” My hands shook, and I honestly didn’t know what to do.
“You do that. But maybe we need to sit down as a family and talk about who this man is. And exactly where he’s been.”
“I don’t want to,” I said quickly. “I have shit to do. Work and school and Elise and just…everything. I don’t want to deal with him.”
“It doesn’t seem like he’s going away, Dillon,” Cameron said softly.
I knew that, but I was in denial right then. How could the man tweaking out on something be the man who’d fathered me? “Yeah? He just walked out. He’s good at that. He’s nothing to you guys. And, yes, I guess we’ll all talk it out later because that’s what we do, but just give me a minute, okay? Let me think.”
Brendon opened his mouth to say something, but Cameron shook his head. “Go. Go home, hang out with your roommates, check on Elise, do whatever you need to do to remember that that guy doesn’t matter. But in the morning, we’re going to talk. Because you’re our family. Our brother, Dillon. You don’t get to do this alone.”
I fisted my hands at my sides. “There’s nothing about this that’s anything. It’s nothing,” I lied.
The pity in their gazes was something I didn’t want to deal with. They’d all had shitty parents and had led more challenging lives than I had ever dealt with. Yet all I wanted to do was run away and not think about any of it.
I couldn’t, though, because it was always there in the background, reminding me that I had come from worthlessness. That I had been nothing. That I had only made it as far as I had by the grace and power of my brothers.
And I still hadn’t earned it.
No, I remained the son of a gutter trash whore and whatever John she felt like having that night. That’s what the kids in school had called me once, and that name would never leave my mind.
I grabbed my things and headed out.
I looked down at my phone, but Elise still hadn’t texted. Maybe that was good.
She could deal with her things, and I knew she was strong enough to do so.
I didn’t want to taint her with mine.
Chapter 14
Elise
“Do you know where I put my psychology book?” I asked as Corinne leaned against the doorway.
“The last time I saw it, it was on your desk where you were working, but that was last night. Did it fall under the bed or something?”
I scowled, dropped to my knees, and looked at the perfectly lovely book under my bed. “How do things move around my room like this? Like, how did this even get there?”
“Because when you’re stressed, you start randomly moving into different positions trying to study. I don’t know how you make it work. Sometimes you end up curled in a ball upside down while reading, and I always find that very uncomfortable.”
I sighed, reached for the book, and pulled it towards me. I hugged it to my chest and sighed. “I’m having a nervous breakdown.”
“You’re not, but you are stressed out. Do you want to come out with us? We’re all going to get some coffee and maybe lunch.”
I shook my head. “No, I need to focus.”
“That’s all you’ve been doing since your dinner with your parents. You haven’t even seen Dillon since then.”
I held back a cringe at that. “I’ve seen Dillon.”
“In passing at the coffee shop as he went to class. It was awkward as hell. He kissed your forehead, you both looked at each other like you wanted to say something, and then he went away.”
“Well, I’m sorry that I’m not having the perfect relationship for you,” I said, none too kindly.
“Stop being a jerk,” Corinne stated. “Tell me what your parents said. We know how much they love me.”
“They don’t dislike you,” I corrected.
“But they sure as hell don’t like me. I’m the bad influence.” She rolled her eyes and then laughed.
“Little do they know that I’m probably the worst influence.”
“Exactly, but it’s fine. I will be the poor little bad influence in this family just for you. However, I wish you would tell me what they said.”
I shook my head. “Just more of the same. I think I’m pretty much on the way to being disowned.” I did my best to ignore the twinge I felt at that.
Corinne’s eyes widened. “Seriously?”
“Seriously. They each have ideas for who I should be, and then went on a tirade about how I’m not working hard enough, studying hard enough, or being good enough to be their precious daughter.”
“Did they actually say that?” Corinne asked, her voice low, angry.
“Not in so many words. But after Dad stormed off when I said I wasn’t going to work on whatever internship he decided I should be in, or what my major should be, Mom grilled me on why I’d had such a tough semester.”
“You are not having a tough semester. Yes, you have more to do than you did last semester, but you’re not flailing around or coming unhinged. You’re working your ass off just like before.”
I sighed and pressed the book closer to my chest. “I’m focusing too much on outside things when I know I need to study.”
“You’re always studying. More so than usual. Don’t let your parents taint what your goals were—or are.”
“I’m not. My parents may be wrong about a lot of things, but they were right about the fact that I need to focus to meet my goals.” I didn’t get into all the untrue and rude things my mom had said about Dillon, a boy they had never met.
“I don’t see the problem. You’re getting good grades. You’re sleeping, you’re hydrating, you’re taking care of yourself. And school isn’t just about getting good grades and working
