“Why does this feel so right?” he whispers in my ear, making my body shiver with pleasure.
My heart fumbles to find a beat and I end the embrace. What would Vincent think of me? Having such thoughts about someone else. This is insane. I feel awful. How can I be Casper’s friend with these thoughts looming around my mind?
He pays the mechanic and I nervously walk to my car. I fumble to get it unlocked and open the door. “Thanks, Casper. Really. I appreciate it. I don’t know how I can repay you.”
“You don’t owe me anything. And you’re welcome. Guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” He says and he leaves. My heart sinks and I don’t know why I feel sad. What am I expecting to happen? I got my car back and I have no reason to be around him now.
But I want one.
Chapter Seventeen
When I get home after work, luckily, my parents have gone to bed, but Jonathan is still awake and sees me in the kitchen rummaging through the fridge looking for something to eat. Mom and Ron suck at grocery shopping.
My hair still covers half my face, but it annoys me, so I pull it back.
“Hey, I brought home some McDonald’s for you,” Jonathan says. “It’s in the microwave.”
“Thank god. I take it Mom and Ron went out?” I open the microwave and find a bag with a cheeseburger and fries inside.
“Yep. I wasn’t invited. How was work?” He leans against the counter with a bottle of Gatorade in his hand and a rolled-up sports magazine in the other.
I shrug. “It was work.”
“What happened to your eye?”
“Nothing,” I mumble.
“Run into a pole again?” he teases. He will never let me forget the time when I was a kid, while reading a newspaper I ran right into a pole.
I groan. “No.”
“What happened? You okay?” He lowers the magazine.
“Yeah. I bumped into a cabinet at work.”
He studies me. “How are you and Vincent?”
“Fine. Why?”
He takes a long swig of his drink and starts fiddling with the corner of the magazine, which means he’s going to say something that makes him uncomfortable. “You know, if something’s wrong you can talk to me.”
I stop mid-bite of a fry and stare at him, confused.
He cocks his eyebrow like he knows I lied about my eye. I hope he doesn’t think it was Vincent. He knows I’ve been kinda moody. “I’m fine, Jon. Promise. But Thanks.”
“It’s just since we went to Dad’s. I don’t know. You seem distant or something.”
“Just school. Usual stress.”
He nods, but I know he doesn’t believe me.
I forget how perceptive he can be and how much he knows when I lie. I grab my pajamas and check my phone for messages. There is one from Casper.
You really didn’t mean we couldn’t be friends anymore, did you?
I sit on the edge of my bed, thinking. Savannah waits for me by the door. I see no problem in us being friends, but I still can’t shake the feeling that it’s all a game. No matter how comfortable I feel around him.
I bite my lip as I type my answer.
No.
Great. Sweet dreams.
I don’t reply but I shower, letting the water wash away the confusion and stress. Only they congregate as soon as I go back into my room. I slide under the covers, pulling them to my chin. My phone vibrates and I reach over and grab it from my nightstand to answer it.
“Hey, you,” Vincent says, and I immediately smile.
“Hey. What did you do tonight?”
“Not much. I wrote a song.”
“You did? About what?”
There is a pause. “You.”
“Me?”
I can hear him laugh. “Yes, you.”
“Play it for me.”
“It’s not ready. But I will when it’s finished.”
He releases a heavy sigh.
“What’s wrong?”
“It’s just everything going on. Can’t we be like the people in your story? Escape from everything? Live our lives without drama and pain?”
“I wish.”
“Why don’t we? We can be immortals, never afraid of death.”
“Are you okay?” I ask. He doesn’t sound right, and part of me wonders if he’s on something.
“Megan, I love you so much. I don’t want to be here.”
“Everything’s going to be okay,” I say. I don’t know how to comfort him, and I hope he isn’t talking about suicide.
“One day, it will be. You’ll come with me to live out our fantasy of being immortal Sprites and dragons and be happy forever?”
I smile. “Of course, I will.”
When we hang up, I feel sad because there’s nothing I can do to help him. Part of me wonders if I should’ve told Vincent about the dreams, especially now that Casper and I are sharing them. But he’ll never find out.
Chapter Eighteen
It isn’t unusual for me to wake up with my heart jabbing my ribs, but how can I possibly dream about something that I have never done? Casper and I…made love in my dream. How can I face Casper now that we did that? Yes, it was a dream, but still. It feels real. I hope I didn’t moan or anything for anyone to hear. I wince at that thought.
And why on earth would we do that in the middle of a war? That sounds crazy.
I get ready for school, putting makeup on my cheek, which somewhat helps but is still blatantly obvious. Luckily, my parents haven’t
