Well. That happened.
haha yeah… I reply. I don’t understand what it all means. It feels so real.
Can you meet me before school?
Why?
I don’t know. This is driving me crazy. It’s seriously messing me up. Like, I can’t wait to see you each day yet you are with someone else. But I’d rather have you as a friend than nothing at all.
I think about it, but I don’t know what to say. I feel there is no harm in talking to him before class. I can still meet with Cherry after, but can I really face him after the dream we had?
Ok. Meet me by the picnic table @ the theatre entrance.
Ok. See you soon.
My stomach won’t calm down. I hate the reaction I have. I have to keep telling myself who I’m meeting, but it only makes me more excited. How can I feel this way toward him? It’s nothing. It’s the dreams getting to me. I am with Vincent and I need to stop acting like this.
“Hey,” Casper says with a sweet smile. His hat blocks the morning sun, but I can still see his brown eyes. He gazes at me like he can see into me. Like he knows everything about me. I avert my eyes.
“Hey,” I say.
“I feel awkward now.”
“I know.” I sit down. “I think I’m leaving though. In the dreams.”
“What do you mean?”
“I kept thinking that I have to go back in order to keep you alive. But I know that going back won’t end the war. I want to keep you alive.”
“The thought of losing you gets my stomach wound up. In my dreams,” he quickly adds.
“What if there is some strange link between us? Like in another life or something? I don’t know. It’s bizarre enough that we actually have the same dream. You know time has passed in the dreams. I wonder how long we’ve been together.”
“I’m not sure.”
“I’m glad no one is trying to kill me. Those dreams haunt me.”
“Me, too, actually. It’s like my love for you in the dreams carries over and I fear losing you. But when I see you, I know it’s all in the dream.”
“That’s how I felt when I came to your house that day. I was so scared that I lost you. I actually cried waking up that day.” I fidget with my fingers, avoiding his eyes as we sit across from each other.
He places a hand on mine, softly. “You won’t lose me,” he says.
I tug my hand slightly toward me and he lifts his. We are quiet for a moment. Probably both thinking about how strange everything is between us. He is easy to talk to, which makes it better since Cherry doesn’t understand.
“How are things going with you and Vincent?”
“They’re fine. I haven’t talked to him much.” I want to talk to him all the time, and I know I shouldn’t complain given the situation with his mom.
“I’m sorry.” He genuinely seems to mean it.
“It’s okay. I work all the time and we have no classes together. I think we might go out again this Friday.” I’m really speculating this, but I want to make sure Casper knows I’m taken. Or maybe I’m reminding myself.
He nods. “Your cheek isn’t as swollen. Have your parents seen it?”
“No. They’re usually in bed by the time I get home from work.”
“Why were you so adverse to telling them what happened that day?”
I take a deep breath. “My parents are weird. I don’t know. They never believe anything I say and always assume I’m lying. If I told them some psycho girl at school hit me, they’d probably think it was Vincent or something.”
“What?”
“My mom would probably believe me. My stepdad wouldn’t. He would think it was all my fault. I’m grounded all the time for stupid stuff. I hate it so much. It’s like I have to walk on eggshells all the time because I don’t know when I’ll get grounded and for what. I mean, one time my mom grounded me for three months over the summer because I had an attitude. But she didn’t understand that I was so stressed out. And when I get grounded, I can’t talk to my dad or anyone. I can’t even go to his house. My stepdad adds to the stress because I’m never good enough for him. Not that I’m trying to impress him, but he always assumes the worst of me. Like I’m some crazy teenager.”
“Wow. So why do you have to give them your paychecks?”
“They bought me the car, but I didn’t get to look at it or pick it out. It showed up in my driveway and they said ‘okay, now you have to pay us back.’ So that’s why all my paychecks go to them.” I stop venting and look up. His brown eyes are apologetic. “Sorry I unloaded on you.” I bite my lip, feeling weird that I just told him so much about my life.
“No, don’t be. I don’t mind. I’m sorry it’s like that for you. I take it there’s no way you can talk to them?”
“No. I’m a child to them. Whatever I have to say doesn’t matter.”
“That sucks.”
“It’s okay. Once I go to college, I’ll leave this place.”
My phone vibrates and I see Vincent’s name flash. “I gotta go,” I tell Casper and walk away from the bench as fast as I can. “Hey,” I answer.
“Hey. Wanna play hooky today?”
I chuckle. “You know I can’t. And you shouldn’t either.”
“I don’t know. There’s this really hot girl walking toward me. I might have to grab her and steal her
