“Then I guess you shouldn’t have knocked me up,” I snap, annoyed he makes it sound I’m doing it on purpose.
But I’m no longer crying.
Tse
“Cool truck.”
Elan walks up when I get out, eyeing my new ride.
I still haven’t been able to get much out of Ravi, but his confidence seems to have grown over the past weeks. Yesterday when I suggested he check to see if some of the other kids wanted to come and help, he seemed open to the idea. Apparently, he didn’t waste any time.
Elan’s comment makes me realize I haven’t been at the clubhouse for a while. I should rectify that, but since Blossom and Duff left, Sophia and I hit a nice, easy groove I don’t wanna mess with.
“Picked it up last week. The old one was dead.”
The kid grins, bending down to greet Van.
“Yeah, tell me about it. Brick had us rip it apart to salvage good parts. There weren’t many.”
I start walking toward the house that is actually starting to look like one. The wrapping is done, as is a lot of the interior framing. We’re getting it ready for electrical and HVAC to go in next week, which means we’ll be focusing on the exterior. At this rate we’ll have it close to ready by the time the first snow flies.
In a few weeks it’ll be September. Sophia is dead set on going to the Four Corners Motorcycle Rally, which always takes place the first weekend of the month. She heard about it from Lisa. I’m not so sure it’s a good idea but she’s been adamant. Says it may be the last chance she’ll get to be on the back of my bike since by next summer the little one’ll be here.
I caved, but I did insist she get the okay from a doctor first. Her first appointment is this afternoon so I’m leaving early; despite her insistence she’d be fine on her own. She’s been driving herself to work, but I’m still following her there and home—which earns me an eye roll every time—but I don’t give a flying fuck. We continue to have eyes on the restaurant, so I know someone’s looking out for her at work, but I’m not about to let her go to the clinic by herself. I promised her she wouldn’t have to do this on her own, and that includes doctor visits.
I’ll admit there are times I feel like the responsibilities are piling up on me, and I wonder if I’m cut out for this. Mostly at night when Sophia is snuggled up against me, trusting me to keep her safe. It’s not just her life but also that of our baby. What if I drop the ball? Hell, I look at the boys at the club—at Ravi, at my own sorry history—and see the evidence of how easy it is to fuck up a kid’s life.
I’m terrified I’ll be that parent. The one who can’t control his temper, who gets overwhelmed, and ends up hitting their kid. Or worse.
Fuck.
Here I am working on another man’s house, when I should be worrying about my own living situation. I don’t even have a proper place for my child to come home to.
I’m already screwing it up.
_______________
“No mistaking that.”
The doctor walks into the small examining room where we’ve been waiting. Sophia was asked to change into a gown and is sitting on the edge of the table.
“You are definitely pregnant. Have you been taking prenatal vitamins?”
Sophia nods. Her mother had picked them up in town that first day.
“Good. Why don’t you lie back and let’s see if we can get some more clarity.”
Sophia grabs my hand as he scoots up the gown and puts a hand on her belly. I almost say something because the way he fucking digs his fingers in can’t be comfortable, but she catches me glaring and sends me a little smile.
“So you said the first day of your last period was the end of June?”
“Yes. Uh, the twenty-ninth.”
“Which would put your due date at around April fifth, give or take a couple of weeks either way. You’re about six to seven weeks pregnant.”
That confuses the fuck out of me, because it hasn’t even been six weeks since Moab. I look at Sophia, who doesn’t seem disturbed by this fact at all, and grins at me.
“They calculate from the first day of the last period.”
Okay. It still doesn’t make sense but what do I know? Only that by this time next year I’m gonna be a goddamn father. Jesus Christ.
“We may be a bit early but let’s have a listen.”
He pulls a contraption from his pocket that looks like a walkie-talkie with a microphone attached.
There’s a swishing sound as he moves the little microphone over her stomach, until suddenly, I hear a distinct thumping. Sophia’s hand twitches in mine.
“Good. I’d like you to set up an appointment for an ultrasound next week.”
“Isn’t that a little early?” I vaguely hear Sophia ask.
“You won’t be able to see much yet, but it gives me a bit of a baseline.”
The entire conversation sounds like it’s taking place underwater.
Those steady thumps still echo in my ears.
A heartbeat.
Fuck.
CHAPTER 23
Tse
“ARE YOU SURE?’
Her eyes flutter open and her lips stretch in a lazy smile.
“Positive…”
“It’s not gonna—”
“It’s perfectly safe. Please, Tse.”
She’s on her back, her ass on the edge of the mattress where I just ate her. I’m holding her legs spread wide and as eager as I am to hammer my cock into that hot slick pussy, the thought of harming her or that little thing growing in her is holding me back. Hell, it’s been holding me back for weeks and I’ve started to worry my balls might fall off.
“Please…”
I position the tip at her entrance, the light brush already drawing an involuntary groan from deep in my chest. Then I ease inside her, my leg muscles shaking, trying
