“That’s it.”
She wears a sly little smile as she tilts her hips a little more, grabs on to the bedspread, and hangs on for the ride.
I’m not gonna last.
_______________
“It’s gonna be beautiful.”
Sophia wanted to come see the progress on Paco’s house and dropped in at the site. She’s off today and was getting a little stir-crazy at home, so I told her to drive down. We’re done for today and it’s just Paco, Ravi, and myself doing some cleanup.
“Thanks,” Paco, who just took her around inside, mumbles.
It is coming along nicely and after next week, when we can hopefully start hanging drywall, it’s going to go even faster. He’ll be able to move in before Christmas.
I’m happy for Paco, he’s putting down some roots, but it also makes me painfully aware I’m living out of my duffel bag. No roots, no place to call my own, and nothing to offer. Instead, I’m shacked up in my woman’s one-bedroom rental with a kid on the way.
That feeling of inadequacy I’ve been carrying around gets a bit heavier with every day that passes. Sophia insisted we keep the pregnancy to ourselves a little longer, so I can’t ask my brothers for advice yet.
“Hey, I was going to make tacos for dinner,” Sophia says when we get outside. “You guys want to come over for a bite?”
“Yes!” Ravi is quick to respond, the smile is closer to the surface these days. Especially around Sophia.
“Sorry, kid. I’ve gotta get back to the clubhouse,” Paco tells him.
“We can run him back after,” Sophia jumps in. “Right, Tse?”
“Sure.”
The kid hops into the Jeep with the dog and Sophia, and I follow them up the mountain in the truck.
At the house, Ravi disappears around the back with Van—probably exploring—and I corner Sophia in the kitchen.
“You’re good with him,” I tell her, my hands on the counter on either side of her, caging her in.
“He makes it easy. He’s a good kid.”
I can’t deny that, but I know all too well that what he shows us on the outside is only part of the story. It’s what he buries deep that should be cause for concern. I should know.
I rest my head on her shoulder and she runs her fingers through my hair.
“Are you okay, honey? You’ve been quiet these past couple of days. Something eating at you?”
Just like Sophia to be straightforward. Part of me wishes I could unload on her, just lay it all at her feet. The other part of me is worried one day I will and she’ll know what a fucked-up bastard she got herself involved with.
“I’m fine,” I lie, pressing a kiss to the patch of exposed skin at the base of her neck before I lift my head. “I’m gonna grab a quick shower and I’ll give you a hand with dinner.”
“Actually, I was hoping you’d get Ravi to help you finish that firepit out back. I picked up some giant marshmallows when we did groceries a couple of days ago. I thought he might like to roast some for dessert.” She turns her head and glances through the living room and out the sliding glass door, where Ravi is tossing an old Frisbee one of them must’ve found lying around for Van. “I was thinking maybe he never had that before. It’s something we did with my parents all the time. You think he’d like that?”
I press my lips to the side of her head.
“I’m sure he’ll love it.”
I don’t have the heart to tell her the boys devoured entire bags of roasted marshmallows when we were camping back in June.
By the time I get out of the shower and head downstairs, Ravi is sitting at the counter in the kitchen, watching Sophia chop vegetables.
“Ever hear the saying a watched pot never boils?” I ask him, as I ruffle his hair.
“I’m hungry.”
Sophia swings around. “Why didn’t you say something?”
“Grab a banana to tide you over and come outside with me. Need a hand with something. “
I’d already started digging a hole for the firepit after Sophia’s parents left. Duff had been satisfied just tossing down some rocks in a circle so I let him. But if his daughter wants a firepit, I want to make her a proper one.
“We’ve gotta get those stones and that bag of sand that’s been in the back of my truck,” I tell Ravi when we get outside, Van happily trotting out behind us. “We’re making a firepit.”
“Cool.”
“I’ve already dug the hole but I want to line the bottom with some sand and those small pavers. Then we’ll build up the circle with the stones.”
It takes us maybe an hour to put the thing together.
When we stand back to admire our work, Ravi looks mighty pleased with himself. He’s a smart kid with good spatial sense. He’ll do well working with his hands.
Behind us the door slides open.
“It’s perfect,” Sophia says, coming down the steps.
She sits down on one of the four stumps the kid and I rolled over here to circle the fire. They’d been behind the woodpile, clearly intended to be used at some point. I plan to use them as the base for two raw-edge benches, but that’s a job for another day.
“Can I build the fire?” the kid asks.
“How about you save that for after dinner?” she answers, grinning over at him. “Go wash your hands. It’s on the table.”
He doesn’t have to be told twice and is off like a shot. Sophia gets to her feet and walks up to me, putting a hand on my chest.
“It really is perfect.”
She lifts up on tiptoes and treats me to a sweet kiss.
“Glad you like it, baby.”
The tacos are the shit, some with shredded chicken, the others with spicy sliced flank steak, and topped with some kind of chipotle sauce she threw together. Thank God she likes to cook and is damn
