She hadn’t pushed him to talk about what happened in the camp. Hadn’t forced him to acknowledge the self-loathing seeping into every corner of his being.
Since they’d gotten back, Caitlin woke up every morning to nightmares, only this time they weren’t hers.
Prodding an open wound only seemed cruel.
Stepping away from the tree, she circled the spike and Booker until she was facing him.
“Speaking of, can I please make myself useful over here?” She nodded to the row of ten he still had to pull up. “Since I’ve been banished from packing, I can at least do some digging.”
Booker glanced up at her. “Nah, I’ve got it darlin’.”
Crossing her arms and ignoring the tug of her stitches, she opened her mouth to argue but Booker cut her off.
“But y’can keep me company while I work if ya like.”
He didn’t have to say it. She could read it all over his face.
Stay.
My mind isn’t a safe place right now.
I need you.
Caitlin dropped down to sit on a soft patch of grass, crisscrossing her legs and smiling.
“Why not,” she said. “I’ve got nowhere better to be.”
* * * * * * *
Oklahoma
If Caitlin had thought the plains of Missouri were vast, she was stunned into silence by the expanse of Oklahoma farmland.
The morning they’d arrived, she couldn’t stop turning in circles, staring out at the horizon lines at every direction.
Land, sky, and not a Geek in sight.
It didn’t leave many opportunities for coverage, but honestly, they couldn’t see anyone or anything to need coverage from.
Creating a semicircle with the vehicles, they set up their camp similarly to the meadow, only this time there were double the people to do the work and in no time the dried-up wheat field was a bustling home base.
Caitlin wasn’t sure she’d ever get used to the noise.
People moving about, talking, laughing, eating… Everything that signaled community and safety.
She wanted to soak it all in. Stare every single person in the face, memorizing the littlest details about them, and learn everything they had to share.
But she could barely bring herself to sit with the largest group at dinner.
Fancy, Max’s beloved shepherd mix, trotted by with a stick in her mouth and Caitlin smiled.
“Not much for socializing either, huh?”
But the voice didn’t belong to Max.
Turning, she looked up, squinting in the setting sun.
“Oh, sorry,” the man said, stepping forward and extending his hand. “I’m Seth. I don’t think we’ve gotten to properly meet.”
“Caitlin,” she told him. “Sorry, it’s kind of hard to keep everyone straight.”
He waved her off. “Don’t worry about it.”
She tried to remember if he’d been with the Rejects before the Ark escape or not, but nothing about his jet-black hair and hazel green eyes jogged her memory.
“You mind if I…” He trailed off, pointing to a spot on the ground next to her.
“Oh, sure,” she said, inching over just a fraction.
As he settled, pulling his knees up to wrap his arms around and clasp his wrist, he stared out at the clusters of people gathered around the fire in the center of camp.
“Do big groups freak you out as much as they do me?” Seth asked.
Casting a sidelong glance at him, Caitlin shrugged. “Kind of. I guess I’m just always waiting for the other shoe to drop.”
She expected him to question what she meant but instead he hummed in agreement.
“You lost a lot of people too then, huh?”
She nodded. “Yeah. And had to leave others.”
“Family?”
“No, but…” She looked to the children playing a made-up game with sticks and rocks near one of the tents. “They meant a lot to me.”
Seth ducked his head. “I lost my sister before we got to the Ark.”
So he hadn’t been with the Rejects before. At least she knew she wasn’t completely losing her memory.
“I’m sorry,” Caitlin murmured. “That’s horrible.”
“My cold comfort is that it was quick,” he said. “But that doesn’t make me miss her less.”
Heavy, familiar footsteps approached, and ease returned to Caitlin’s core.
“I tell ya what, that ground is drier than a corpse’s mouth,” Booker said, wiping dust from his hands with a rag. “Must’ve had a helluva summer.”
Spotting Seth, he nodded in greeting before squatting next to Caitlin.
“Seth, this is Booker,” she said, unsure if the two men had already met.
“Good t’meet you,” Booker said, still scraping dirt from under his fingernails.
“We’ve met,” Seth told him with a lopsided smile. “Very briefly, at the Ark camp.”
Booker made a noise at the back of his throat and nodded. “Well it’s good to re-meet you then.”
“You too.”
Noticing they were missing someone, Caitlin glanced over Booker’s shoulder.
“Where’s Nicole?”
“Helpin’ Scott haul some gear into our tent. She said they’d be over for some grub soon.”
It still struck Caitlin that they’d found Scott. He was safe and alive and Nicole had her husband back.
“You guys get your own tent?” Seth asked.
Booker chuckled. “If ya call sharin’ a two-person tent with four people ‘our own’, then yeah, I guess we do.”
“Hm. Yeah, doesn’t sound like my kind of slumber party,” Seth said. “I know a few people are opting to sleep on the buses. Reminds me of varsity cross country meets.”
“When I was on my own, I slept in trees and on top of broken-down semis,” Caitlin said with a shrug. “Anything beyond that is gravy.”
Seth blinked at her. “On top? Not inside?”
“Didn’t want to feel trapped,” she said plainly.
“Then one day with me and you’re hunkered down in a garden shed like a possum,” Booker added, leaning in to kiss her temple.
It was the briefest expression—a fraction of a second where something bitter and ugly slipped across Seth’s face.
